Fair enough hahaha! It might be because I was doing a broshep (I only started playing recently). But I might see what he's like if I am playing a femshep (presuming I don't role a gay femshep next time). He also died pretty early on for me (Wrex too) so it's possible I never got to know him well. Honestly ASH was the one I just could not stand. I also rubbed Miranda the wrong way by siding with Jack which has made ME 3 odd for me cause all of sudden she is like best buds again. 
To be honest, I understand why a lot of people don't warm to Kaiden as a comrade or a friend. His appeal is subtle in comparison to characters like Wrex or Garrus, both of whom I also adore. Kaiden is stability, he's also quiet and gentle. These are not things that enthuse the majority of people.
I don't love it when people dismiss him as whiny, but I would probably say that the most fun romance for fem!Shepard is Garrus. That's actually the one I would recommend to most ME fans. Or Traynor, whose romance I consider to be one of the better written.