As promised, I have decided to write that "friendfiction" to the Iron Roy, about her love affair with Dr Pepper...
Here it is. (Yes I'm aware she isn't here, so I am putting it on you guys to show her if she misses out 
)
Salt and Dr. Pepper: A Better Love Story Than Twilight
By HB
The Iron Roy strolled into the Drinkquisition bar after a hard, stressful night of working.
She was in a particularly bad mood, and rolled her eyes when she walked in and almost slipped on Maryden's innards splattered all over the floor.
She looked around, and saw the usual patrons. The volus was arguing with Rivaini, something something about child support.
HB, typically, was surrounded by a group of horny, naked Asari poledancers, swooning over her and flirting, while she downed mug after mug of rum.
Poodle/sparkles was attempting to get into the Dame's pants. The Dame however, remained polite, but didn't let him get any.
Harding had just strolled in, and was informing anybody of who was listening, that a crazy loon at showed up nearby, obsessed with morphing Cassandra's face to look more feminine.
Everyone greeted Roy, but she just mumbled something to everyone and sat by herself in a corner. She called to Cabot to get her a Dr. Pepper, and nearly punched him out when he responded with, "Sorry Roy, but we're out. We won't be getting the stock for a couple of days."
"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!?" She screeched at him, shaking her fist.
He shrugged. "Sorry Roy. You could have some mead instead?"
"I'll show you mead." She said, jumping the counter and kicking him in the nuts.
He howled like a little girl and dropped to the floor.
She picked up one of Maryden's intestines off the floor, and started whipping him relentlessly with it. He screamed and moaned.
Suddenly, a voice spoke from behind her.
"What's going on here?" The voice was familar, and strange at the same time. It was a hybrid of Alistair and Solas, which made the Iron Roy almost jump out of her skin.
She whirled around to face the man with the voice, and her heart almost melted.
Standing there, was a large bottle of Dr Pepper, with muscular, manly arms and legs. Her heart began to beat fast, and she forgot all about Maryden's bloody intestine in her hand. She was speechless, and her mouth was dry.
"Did that man harass you?" Dr. Pepper asked.
"Uh... um..." She stuttered.
Cabot, meanwhile, was crying. Voly strolled over, wearing his nurse outfit, and comforted Cabot, helping him up and cuddling him for comfort, patting him on the back.
"Don't mind her," Voly then spoke to the Dr. Pepper man, "She's just having a rough night. The bar ran out of Dr. Pepper."
Dr. Pepper-man turned and looked at Roy, and smiled. "Never fear. I'm here. Care to take a stroll outside, my lady?"
So they went outside, Roy was nervous and was doing all she could to gain some courage to talk to the sexiest man she had ever met in her life.
He took her hand in his, and her heart skipped a few beats, her stomach fluttering as they enjoyed the cool night air.
He stopped, and looked into her eyes. "This may sound crazy but.. I think you are my soulmate, my lady."
He unscrewed his bottle top, and with his other hand, beckoned to her seductively. "I want you to join your lips to mine."
She stared at him for a few moments, before responding. Though she almost choked. "It's a good thing I swallow."
He winked, and leaned forward for her to have a taste. For the longest time, they were joined in an embrace that would last a blissful eternity. She caressed his glass sides and gulped back every last drop of his fizzy seed.
They would be together forever and ever, as true soulmates.
*THE END*
(Yes, I am bored 
)
Guest_Donkson_*
Retour en haut
