Eh not really. The only failures I really see are the impossible choices we are given at times. Save the mages or save the templars. We are successful at saving whoever we attempt to save, but the others a hung out to dry.
Haven gets destroyed, the Inquisition gets bloodied, and you have to retreat deep into the Frostback Mountains. That's a defeat.
When people complain about
Mass Effect 3's forced defeats, they look at the battles against Kai Leng. A moderately skilled player could totally trash Leng - pin him down, zap his shields, burn his health without even needing to use medigel. He was not a super challenging opponent. But as soon as Shepard and Leng's fight moved from gameplay to cutscene, Shepard lost all her combat skills and got instantly beat. This was regarded as poor writing by much of the player base, and rightly so.
The fundamental problem is that to inflict a defeat on the player's character, the game's designers need to take the ability to achieve victory out of the player's hands. In
Origins, for instance, after defeating the ogre at the top of the Tower of Ishal, your party is ambushed by a couple of random darkspawn archers and instantly beaten, only to be saved by Flemeth. Any player, had she had the opportunity to fight those archers in actual in-game combat, would have blown them away. Instead, you get wiped out by randos. Lovely. By comparison, the fight with Ser Cauthrien in the Arl of Denerim's estate presented players with an opponent only the skilled could defeat, and left multiple paths for a player to either defeat her or be defeated/submit.
Taking the ability to achieve victory out of the player's hands can be okay, if done convincingly. The Tower of Ishal defeat was not convincing at all. Neither was Leng's victory on Thessia. The Object Rho fight in
Arrival was a bit better - it allowed a sufficiently skilled player to defeat all the enemies before being forced to succumb to Reaper mind powers anyway - but still a bit annoying. Haven is probably the best such defeat yet: the player is confronted with plausibly overwhelming force and is required to offer herself up in a gambit to distract that overwhelming force from an evacuation. There's still some whining about how
my Inquisitor wouldn't have lost to Corypheus and his dragon, but it's not nearly as intense as before.
I completely understand the desire to insert the narrative hook of overcoming defeat, and to avoid the sense that the game is an unending march of success after success. But games - well, these sorts of games, anyway - aren't movies or books, they are also competitive activities that involve player skill. A game writer can't draw on the narrative power of defeat as easily as she would for writing a book.