Mr. Gaider has commented on the "toggle solution" before on his now deactivated Tumblr account, but someone has archived his response here. I copied his response below.
On the Toggle Solution
ON THE TOGGLE SOLUTION
Everyone seems to be having issues either with seeing the mechanics behind romances,or by how available said romances are in Bioware games (by this I mean the way every romance character in DA2 is bisexual/available to either sex). Why don’t you give players a checkbox in the options menu- you don’t want to see the approval, turn it off? And the same goes for the romances. A checkbox at character creation that states your sexuality, and then excludes all others. Would that be hard to implement? — anonymous fan question
Ah, yes, the “toggle solution”.
I apologize if this comes across as dismissive. It’s just that I’ve seen this proposal quite often on forums like the BSN, to the point that it makes me wince just a little whenever it comes up. What it breaks down to, in essence, is that any design problem which causes disagreement among the fans can be solved by giving everyone what they want. Put a toggle in the options menu so the player can either have or not have whatever is in contention, and thus be pleased with the result.
There are a few issues with that, from a development perspective. The first is our need to treat every version of the game, whether that feature has been turned on or off, as a legitimate way to play and thus one we must test. The more fundamental a mechanic that is affected, the more things it can touch (even inadvertently) and thus the more testing it must receive. We need to be concerned not only about whether that variant works, but also how it affects the play experience.
It’s not about hand-holding or forcing the player to experience the game only a certain way, but about avoiding the player getting a radically different experience of which they may not be aware and for which we would be responsible anyhow, since we provided the option. You click that option in the settings, thinking it will do one thing, but end up getting something different. We have to consider that, and consider how well it meshes up with the experience we are otherwise crafting, and which we intend to support.
It is not, after all, like we can throw something into the options menu and absolve ourselves of responsibility for it. “Hey, you picked that option, man. It’s not our fault it changed your game experience.” We thus select our provided options carefully.
Beyond that, when it comes to content options like the so-called “gay toggle” …my question would be “why?” We don’t allow the player to de-select other sorts of content. A ‘violence’ toggle? A ‘mention of slavery’ toggle? A ‘sexual situations’ toggle? Why would we have a ‘gay’ toggle? Even if that was just to set the player’s personal preference, and we didn’t think that was incredibly on-the-nose to put up front, would de-selecting the ‘gay’ toggle mean a player should expect to encounter no gay characters? Ever? You don’t think there are those who would interpret it as exactly that?
There’s a degree to which, I think, players should be responsible for their own choices, and that doesn’t include filtering out anything which might potentially make them uncomfortable—not in a game which is labeled as big-M Mature. We’re always going to walk a line between accommodating player desires in-game, and having appropriate reactivity, but that doesn’t quite go so far as offering customizable story options out of the gate.
Some people might like that notion, but I suspect they like it in the purely theoretical and idealized sense. Practically speaking, it’s a rabbit hole that leads nowhere good.