328 réponses à ce sujet

[LightningPoodle]

I knew that something was wrong as a young child, really couldn't understand what was wrong all I knew is that I identified with girls and not boys. Trying to explain what we feel is probably the most difficult thing I can try to do, it's nearly impossible. Maybe think of it this way, how would feel if your brain at the age of four was inserted into the opposite gender, your brain has already been developing as one gender then suddenly it's all different. That's sort of what happens to us except we don't know it because it happened before birth, somehow our brain develops one way and the body develops the other. We don't understand it until we reach an age that we are able to really comprehend who we are. Wow, don't know if that made since but anyway.

I tried for years to accept myself for who I was told I was. Every year the feelings get stronger and stronger, you just can't remove them, they just don't go away. There was nothing about males that made me not want to be one, it's just not like that, it's your brain telling you your someone else. When I first started taking hormones and stopped being under the influence of male hormones, I started to feel relief, the body changes that started happening only made things better. All I can really say is that I've never once thought that what I did was a mistake, quite the opposite. Even 200 hours of the most excruciating pain I've ever experienced and I've been through 5 surgeries, something called electrolysis to remove one of the unfortunate parts of reaching puberty the male beard, was worth it.

 

Out of likes... curse the Sera thread for taking them all!

[FadelessRipley]

I knew that something was wrong as a young child, really couldn't understand what was wrong all I knew is that I identified with girls and not boys. Trying to explain what we feel is probably the most difficult thing I can try to do, it's nearly impossible. Maybe think of it this way, how would feel if your brain at the age of four was inserted into the opposite gender, your brain has already been developing as one gender then suddenly it's all different. That's sort of what happens to us except we don't know it because it happened before birth, somehow our brain develops one way and the body develops the other. We don't understand it until we reach an age that we are able to really comprehend who we are. Wow, don't know if that made since but anyway.I tried for years to accept myself for who I was told I was. Every year the feelings get stronger and stronger, you just can't remove them, they just don't go away. There was nothing about males that made me not want to be one, it's just not like that, it's your brain telling you your someone else. When I first started taking hormones and stopped being under the influence of male hormones, I started to feel relief, the body changes that started happening only made things better. All I can really say is that I've never once thought that what I did was a mistake, quite the opposite. Even 200 hours of the most excruciating pain I've ever experienced and I've been through 5 surgeries, something called electrolysis to remove one of the unfortunate parts of reaching puberty the male beard, was worth it.

"IOU 1 Like"

[KainD]

Trying to explain what we feel is probably the most difficult thing I can try to do, it's nearly impossible. Maybe think of it this way, how would feel if your brain at the age of four was inserted into the opposite gender, your brain has already been developing as one gender then suddenly it's all different.:

I did answer this on the previous page - I wouldn't care. My body is not who I am, its what I am. The only difference would be all the physical things associated with a different body. I woke up tomorrow in an opposite gender body, I would change my pronoun, but not my life.

[KainD]

Everyone is different and everyone needs different things,I needed what I did. Other people need something else and I would never try and tell someone what they need. Transgender covers a wide range of people and everyone must find the path that fits them best, if my post made it sound otherwise I certainly didn't mean that.

 

Nah, I get it. I named the aspects that kinda bother me personally about the whole thing, but it's kinda more of a language fault if anything, but language doesn't change fast enough to accommodate for peoples perceptions. 

[Zobert]

Everyone is different and everyone needs different things,I needed what I did. Other people need something else and I would never try and tell someone what they need. Transgender covers a wide range of people and everyone must find the path that fits them best, if my post made it sound otherwise I certainly didn't mean that.

 

You are doing you.  That's all we can do.

[Raiil]

Yeah, I don't get that as well. I wouldn't care if I had a female body instead, that wouldn't really change anything about me as a person. The only thing that I would hope for ( not trying to be disrespectful ) is that my sexuality would change along with that and I would like men instead of women, and I would remain straight, as I find that more convenient.

 

 

I think it's harder to explain when you 'match'. I'm cis and straight as well, and even though I'm a very big tomboy, my insides and outsides match, and I have nothing to compare it to. I feel like everything is shaped the way it's supposed to be, roughly speaking. 

[Zobert]

Our outsides will never match our insides or else Dick Cheney would look like Satan.

 

I think that there is some sort of neurological thing going on that we don't understand and that's okay.  Be happy whatever it takes.

 

Caveat: Don't hurt others in the process.

[KainD]

Our outsides will never match our insides or else Dick Cheney would look like Satan.

 

This is actually good point as well. I'm pretty sure 90% of people don't look like they would want to look, do not love their physical body, and would like for it to be different. 

[DirkJake]

Again, there are not that many examples. Believe me, I know because I actively seek out games with LGBT content. I follow numerous gay gamer blogs and as soon as a game is announced to have LGBT content, I check it out. I don't buy all of them, but it's the tipping point for most that I'm on the fence with. My rationale is that I can offer positive reinforcement for developers who include LGBT content. If there are 2-3 games in a year with LGBT content, that's a good year.

All that being said, it's far less common than you and some others here are implying. Again, Bioware is far from the only developer to include them, but they are the most consistent and do it the best, in my opinion. We can name other examples, but that's silly to do because: a) no one is saying that there AREN'T other examples; and b.) the very idea that we can 'name the others' shows how few there are. Again, imagine if I said, 'Let's name the straight guy characters!' We'd be here for days and most of us would be able to pull dozens and dozens and dozens of examples out without even thinking.

As LGBT characters and themes become more and more common, this will become less of an issue. It's already better now than it was 5 years ago. But we are still not seeing it happen consistently. And when it does happen, we still see tons of people complaining about it 'being shoved down their throats'. So, until that mindset diminishes, Bioware and other developers like them will continue to get praise for doing what they do.

 

I find it impossible to disagree with you, Dave. This is so on point. I found Dragon Age on one of the blogs followed. And to be honest, I would have not heard about Dragon Age or even Bioware, if they had not included LGBT characters and their romances.

 

Let me tell the story. I was browsing on my dashboard on Tumblr, looking at usual stuffs. Then there was this one drawing my friend just reblogged that featured two male characters in a very NSFW manner. First I thought it was just Tumblr thing where people "ship" two straight male characters together; a thing that did not interest me that much. So I looked at the tags. #Handers is probably the ship's name. #Dragon Age is probably the show these characters are from? And then the last tag that held my attention: #this is canon.

 

That surprised me, because it was (and probably still is) relatively rare to find s/s romance that was a part of a story. So, I talked to my friend and asked what this whole Dragon Age was all about, and wow he was so excited explaining the games to me. One sentence he kept repeating was "you MUST play them"

 

Needless to say, I took his advice. And now I can't really play any games that do not feature LGBT characters. Bioware has set the standard of the games I played too high. Thanks for your effort at representation and inclusion, Bioware. You earn my loyalty.

[Zobert]

This is actually good point as well. I'm pretty sure 90% of people don't look like they would want to look, do not love their physical body, and would like for it to be different. 

 

Well, I was trying to be philosophical about it.  There are people who are truly lovely and beautiful but they will never get their day in the sun because they don't meet societal expectations of what beauty is.

[Zobert]

I would like this but unfortunately I'm out. I owe you though.

 

Neh, what we've got going on in the PM arena is worth more than a "like".  You are a genuinely sweet person.  I hope someone tells you that once a day. 

 

Coming from a ****** like me that's saying something. 

[dragonflight288]

I knew that something was wrong as a young child, really couldn't understand what was wrong all I knew is that I identified with girls and not boys. Trying to explain what we feel is probably the most difficult thing I can try to do, it's nearly impossible. Maybe think of it this way, how would feel if your brain at the age of four was inserted into the opposite gender, your brain has already been developing as one gender then suddenly it's all different. That's sort of what happens to us except we don't know it because it happened before birth, somehow our brain develops one way and the body develops the other. We don't understand it until we reach an age that we are able to really comprehend who we are. Wow, don't know if that made since but anyway.

I tried for years to accept myself for who I was told I was. Every year the feelings get stronger and stronger, you just can't remove them, they just don't go away. There was nothing about males that made me not want to be one, it's just not like that, it's your brain telling you your someone else. When I first started taking hormones and stopped being under the influence of male hormones, I started to feel relief, the body changes that started happening only made things better. All I can really say is that I've never once thought that what I did was a mistake, quite the opposite. Even 200 hours of the most excruciating pain I've ever experienced and I've been through 5 surgeries, something called electrolysis to remove one of the unfortunate parts of reaching puberty the male beard, was worth it.

 

I appreciate you trying to explain it to me, even though I'm still confused. 

 

I guess I just don't get it because I have never experienced it and so the very concept is alien to me, and thus, sympathetic or not, empathetic or not, it is truly impossible for me to understand what it is truly like because I have never experienced it and thus can only guess. And since I can only, truly understand things I have direct experience with, any attempt I make at trying to understand is likely going to make my head spin and I'll look like an anime character with the swirly eyes. 

 

@_@

 

For me it's pretty simple. I am what I am. I was born a guy so I am a guy. I like girls so I am straight. I also have asperger's syndrome so I am also a high-functioning-autistic-person and tend to take things quite literally at times and only realize a metaphor or allegory was at play later. I've gotten considerably better at that over the years.

 

I don't think I'll ever understand it, but that doesn't mean I'm judging people who are transgendered, gay, lesbian or whatnot. I simply do not care if you are or are not because, as I've said before, it's really on superficial to the whole of the person. 

 

More important attributes to focus on when celebrating people would be things like if they are people of integrity who treated all people with respect, kept their words. Things they were successful at, like studying and working really hard and winning a science fair or talent show, being hard working, diligent, courageous when the situation calls for it. Their moments of levity and the things they do for fun and the nature of their entertainment. How they deal with people from different walks of life and such. 

 

People are people, there are jerks and saints in every group. I'm good friends with a gay guy who asked to his name removed from all records of the church I belong to because he didn't agree with what the church taught about God's view on gay and lesbians, but he is still a good guy who does genuinely try to help those around him, and even though he disagrees with the church I belong to, he still attends the church meetings to support his friends who are part of the church every now and then. He has nothing against religion, and is a great guy. But I've also met through him gay and lesbians who hate on religion as if it's the be-all end-all evil of the world and if anyone professes to be Christian that must mean they are a hateful homophobe and bigot and went out of their way to treat them as horribly as they could preemptively based entirely on the idea that the person they're mistreating must hate them and their lifestyle because they are Christian. 

 

And likewise in reverse, I've members of various religious sects who are genuinely loving of people who are gay and lesbian. My best friend's brother is gay and his father was once a bishop in the church, and these people approach the issue as "we are commanded to love all people and not the sin, judgement is in the hands of God, all we can do is love one another." And I've also met members of various churches who actually are just plain jerks to people who act in a way that they feel is contrary to God's will. 

 

An ethnic group, religious group, such and such political cause group are good things to be part of, if they are done in respectful ways. But when members of whatever group they are a part of harass others because they believe differently or whatnot, then it ought not matter if they are part of a minority or disenfranchised group or a historically majority one, that person is a jerk. 

[Xilizhra]

And likewise in reverse, I've members of various religious sects who are genuinely loving of people who are gay and lesbian. My best friend's brother is gay and his father was once a bishop in the church, and these people approach the issue as "we are commanded to love all people and not the sin, judgement is in the hands of God, all we can do is love one another." And I've also met members of various churches who actually are just plain jerks to people who act in a way that they feel is contrary to God's will.

Is it love to simply fob off responsibility for judging what you consider a sin onto a god?

[Zobert]

Thank you, it means a lot to me and don't say that about yourself. Ok

 

There.  I'll "like" you for both of us.

 

People are going to start talking if I am too mushy with you.  I should find someone to irritate now lest I ruin my upstart newb reputation.

[Xilizhra]

I knew that something was wrong as a young child, really couldn't understand what was wrong all I knew is that I identified with girls and not boys. Trying to explain what we feel is probably the most difficult thing I can try to do, it's nearly impossible. Maybe think of it this way, how would feel if your brain at the age of four was inserted into the opposite gender, your brain has already been developing as one gender then suddenly it's all different. That's sort of what happens to us except we don't know it because it happened before birth, somehow our brain develops one way and the body develops the other. We don't understand it until we reach an age that we are able to really comprehend who we are. Wow, don't know if that made since but anyway.

I tried for years to accept myself for who I was told I was. Every year the feelings get stronger and stronger, you just can't remove them, they just don't go away. There was nothing about males that made me not want to be one, it's just not like that, it's your brain telling you your someone else. When I first started taking hormones and stopped being under the influence of male hormones, I started to feel relief, the body changes that started happening only made things better. All I can really say is that I've never once thought that what I did was a mistake, quite the opposite. Even 200 hours of the most excruciating pain I've ever experienced and I've been through 5 surgeries, something called electrolysis to remove one of the unfortunate parts of reaching puberty the male beard, was worth it.

I definitely appreciate this. It's not my experience, as I only started figuring it out around 18 or so (and was like KainD before then), but this story does seem to be more common, and I'm glad you've shared it.

[KainD]

I definitely appreciate this. It's not my experience, as I only started figuring it out around 18 or so (and was like KainD before then), but this story does seem to be more common, and I'm glad you've shared it.

 

You've acquired a gender identity at the age of 18? 

[Zobert]

I appreciate you trying to explain it to me, even though I'm still confused. 

 

I guess I just don't get it because I have never experienced it and so the very concept is alien to me, and thus, sympathetic or not, empathetic or not, it is truly impossible for me to understand what it is truly like because I have never experienced it and thus can only guess. And since I can only, truly understand things I have direct experience with, any attempt I make at trying to understand is likely going to make my head spin and I'll look like an anime character with the swirly eyes. 

<snip>

People are people, there are jerks and saints in every group. I'm good friends with a gay guy who asked to his name removed from all records of the church I belong to because he didn't agree with what the church taught about God's view on gay and lesbians, but he is still a good guy who does genuinely try to help those around him, and even though he disagrees with the church I belong to, he still attends the church meetings to support his friends who are part of the church every now and then. He has nothing against religion, and is a great guy. But I've also met through him gay and lesbians who hate on religion as if it's the be-all end-all evil of the world and if anyone professes to be Christian that must mean they are a hateful homophobe and bigot and went out of their way to treat them as horribly as they could preemptively based entirely on the idea that the person they're mistreating must hate them and their lifestyle because they are Christian. 

 

And likewise in reverse, I've members of various religious sects who are genuinely loving of people who are gay and lesbian. My best friend's brother is gay and his father was once a bishop in the church, and these people approach the issue as "we are commanded to love all people and not the sin, judgement is in the hands of God, all we can do is love one another." And I've also met members of various churches who actually are just plain jerks to people who act in a way that they feel is contrary to God's will. 

 

An ethnic group, religious group, such and such political cause group are good things to be part of, if they are done in respectful ways. But when members of whatever group they are a part of harass others because they believe differently or whatnot, then it ought not matter if they are part of a minority or disenfranchised group or a historically majority one, that person is a jerk. 

 

 

I am convinced that at the ultimate level of Godhood it is illogical to focus on who puts what in what orifice.  Sin in Greek means only to "miss the mark".  It is the same word used when your arrow doesn't hit a target.

 

Many of those laws were for health reasons or for survival, not because there is something inherently wrong with an act.  No one is hurt by homosexuality, by changing your physical body, etc.

 

Love God, Love your Neighbor as Yourself--upon these two hang all the laws of Moses and the Prophets.

 

When someone can tell me who a homosexual hurts with their relationship then I'll discuss it as a sin, until then I try to focus on what I do that is wrong.

 

Now, don't take this as me "reading" you because I think you're genuinely trying to understand Danielle and maybe you aren't 'there' yet.  I don't want anything I have to say stop you on your journey.

 

She's been pleasant.  Others won't be.  I'm not going to judge you because I am flawed myself.

[Xilizhra]

You've acquired a gender identity at the age of 18? 

I was vague on the matter beforehand. I used to be more accepting of playing a male role, but tended to gravitate to playing female characters when I could and idly considered the possibilities of being female, which never seemed distasteful. But it didn't sink in as something necessary until then.

 

 

She's been pleasant.  Others won't be.  I'm not going to judge you because I am flawed myself.

I will judge, because we have no one flawless to do it perfectly, and it's a necessary activity for humanity.

[Zobert]

I will judge, because we have no one flawless to do it perfectly, and it's a necessary activity for humanity.

 

Awesome for you then.  I myself would find it ironic to judge others for judging, but that's me. 

 

If the greater good is served by changing and shifting attitudes towards love and acceptance its hard to make the argument that judging people for not being at the same spot on the journey as you is helping to make that a reality.

 

Danielle has been nothing but kind (and brave) towards strangers who might possibly express something hurtful and opened up polite dialogue with people that may later be watered and nurtured by others into a more peaceful and positive understanding of other humans on the planet.

[Xilizhra]

Awesome for you then.  I myself would find it ironic to judge others for judging, but that's me. 

 

If the greater good is served by changing and shifting attitudes towards love and acceptance its hard to make the argument that judging people for not being at the same spot on the journey as you is helping to make that a reality.

 

Danielle has been nothing but kind (and brave) towards strangers who might possibly express something hurtful and opened up polite dialogue with people that may later be watered and nurtured by others into a more peaceful and positive understanding of other humans on the planet.

Oh, I wasn't talking about Danielle, whom I'm all for. I was talking about certain individuals of certain religious stripes and their own definitions of sin.

 

And "judging" in this context means "forming an opinion on that is, at least in some ways, negative."

[KainD]

I was vague on the matter beforehand. I used to be more accepting of playing a male role, but tended to gravitate to playing female characters when I could and idly considered the possibilities of being female, which never seemed distasteful. But it didn't sink in as something necessary until then.

 

Necessary for whom? You were fine with your body until age 18, and then decided that you want to change because? 

 

See I'm role-playing a stereotypical man every day myself, at Uni, at work, but that's not who I am, even though I do like/have some masculine traits, I also have a whole bunch of other traits some of which are associated with women, but I cannot express them everywhere, only with my friends and on a night out, otherwise life becomes too hard. 

 

I'm really not the type to judge, since I myself am sitting on my a$s doing nothing for changing societies views, but if you are that brave that you willing to deal with society prejudice and be who you are, do you really have to try and get to the point where you are going to be a complete female and prove their point on what genders are supposed to be, instead of being who you are in your own body? 

 

Or I am not getting something again.