127 réponses à ce sujet

[Jock Cranley]

Granted. Contact with oxygen will kill you.

 

I wish I could stare down Steven Colbert.

[bEVEsthda]

Granted, Steven Colbert now have involuntary eye twitches.

 

 

I wish I had more time for my favorite hobbies.

[mousestalker]

Granted. You get convicted of many many crimes and sentenced to life in solitary confinement. You now have enough time for your hobbies!

I wish I had a nice cup of tea.

[bEVEsthda]

Granted, unfortunately the nice cup thaws and melts in room temperature, and you're left with only a poodle of stale, previously frozen, tea.

 

 

I wish I wouldn't be tired tomorrow.

[Bison]

You won't wake up until the day after. Thus you will be fired from work (assuming you do work)

 

I wish I wouldn't have my wish ruined. 

[mousestalker]

Granted. Unfortunately it's parked in orbit in Alpha Centauri. After three decades of mounting parking tickets, the Intergalactic Highway Patrol Arrests you, you are tried and sentenced to work in the spice mines of Kessel for life. They also sell your spaceship.

I wish I knew Mandarin Chinese.

[Seraphim24]

Granted. Now it's the only language you speak and you are the last person on earth that speaks it.

 

I wish I had a soda fountain.

[Jock Cranley]

Granted. It only carbonates urine.

 

I wish I had a $90k car.

[Seraphim24]

Granted. It's a pinto.

 

I wish everyone's hopes and dreams were realized.

[mousestalker]

Granted. You are now the proud owner of a 1990 Dodge Omni. Enjoy!  

 

Granted, all of our nightmares come true. The entire world is utterly insane. It is therefore indistinguishable from our present reality.

I wish I had two matching red socks.

[Elhanan]

Granted; the matches light, and the socks burn brightly for a minute....

I wish for a debt free world.

[Seraphim24]

Granted, only the country in which you reside just passed a law making it criminal to not be in debt, and any found in violation of such law will be forced to undergo mandatory rehabilitation proceedings at a farm in Wisconsin, where you will be under the direct authority of Mr. Manners, an ex-clown who also was a marine and is found of giving 12 hour lectures.

 

I wish for gods to make their appearance on earth.

[Bison]

Granted, but they're all gods of hangovers and you will immediately become hungover and vomit after drinking water. 

 

I wish for more wishes

[Dio Demon]

Granted. But they are all pre-ordained wishes and they are all for various brutal beatings by OWA, myself and your arch-nemesis.

 

I wish my body could function just as efficiently and without error, with no sleep. 

[Bison]

But my arch nemesis is dead 

 

Granted, but now your body is as weak as Mr. Burns' from the Simpsons, but it does function well enough. 

 

I wish for an immunity to blunt force. 

[Dio Demon]

Granted, I dismember you still though.

 

I wish for X-ray vision.

[Bison]

Granted, you can't turn it off, which eventually drives you insane. 

 

I wish to be un dismembered.

[Gorthaur the Cruel]

Granted, you shall be put back together and burned alive.

 

I wish I was the only man on an island populated entirely of straight attractive women.

[Elhanan]

Granted; now the lone male on a stretch of Florida covered in the newest cardboard Cola girl displays....

I wish I could control matter with my mind.

[Katiefrost]

Granted, but as a result the rest of your body atrophies, becomes useless and not very pretty...

I wish I were a natural redhead.

[Elhanan]

Granted; now you are bald and sun-burned....

I wish I could alter my molecular form at will.

[mousestalker]

Granted. You can go from carbon to silicon at will. You successfully turn yourself into an immobile, sentient rock. You are stuck that way for millenia, until you are crushed to make pebbles fot the bottoms of fish tanks.

 

I wish i had a pony.