1251 réponses à ce sujet

[Dobby]

[Decepticon Leader Sully]

tfw you've become the Baldrick of the BSN

Sweet im Blackadder then.

[Johnnie Walker]

You don't get to just skip the climax u lil sh*t

He is a little sh*t tbh.

 

I told him the other day that he was like family to me.

What I didn't tell him is that I hate my family.

 

Freakin Crusty.

Can't stand that guy.

[mybudgee]

The hag is toast

[Bison]

*realises Crusty meets my demands for another chapter*

 

 

[Dio Demon]

*slides some cash under the table to Knights* Here buy yourself something pretty, something that will cause chapter 16 to come out...

 

I'm just insuring the future...

[Bison]

*slides some cash under the table to Knights* Here buy yourself something pretty, something that will cause chapter 16 to come out...

 

I'm just insuring the future...

Ladies and gentlemen he just handed Crusty 50 Australian Dollars.

 

Which roughly equates to 3 handfuls of dirt in American and 2 in Euro

[A Crusty Knight Of Colour]

Every time I have a split chapter, I always think about abandoning the Let's Play on a cliffhanger.

[Bison]

Every time I have a split chapter, I always think about abandoning the Let's Play on a cliffhanger.

Do that and might be you'll meet someone notoriously without mercy 

[A Crusty Knight Of Colour]

Do that and might be you'll meet someone notoriously without mercy

If you're trying to discourage me from abandoning this LP, telling me that I'll meet Stannis if I do is not the right way to go about it.

[The Love Runner]

If you're trying to discourage me from abandoning this LP, telling me that I'll meet Stannis if I do is not the right way to go about it.

Next thing you know, Bison will reveal that it's actually Ninja Stannis.

(END OF LINE!!)

[Bison]

Next thing you know, Bison will reveal that it's actually Ninja Stannis.

(END OF LINE!!)

Might be. 

 

Is our running president pulling rank on this thread?

[The Love Runner]

Might be. 
 
Is our running president pulling rank on this thread?

I'm just...biding my time for now. I'm sure you're aware that the dungeon is darkest just before the dawn, and I assure you...the dawn is coming.

[Bison]

I'm just...biding my time for now. I'm sure you're aware that the dungeon is darkest just before the dawn, and I assure you...the dawn is coming.

So is Cthulhu. 

[TheBlackBaron]

If you're trying to discourage me from abandoning this LP, telling me that I'll meet Stannis if I do is not the right way to go about it.

 

Or you might wind up meeting Joffrey. 

Is that really a risk you want to take, Crusty? 

[Dio Demon]

So is Cthulhu. 

So is *inserts someone's mother*

[The Love Runner]

So is *inserts someone's mother*

[A Crusty Knight Of Colour]

Alright.

Spoiler

I didn't choose the non-proofread life. The non-proofread life chose me.

 

Chapter 17:

The Lobbyists hold firm, and it's the Hag that moves first. Cackling about fresh meat, she charges at the team, knocking Walker and E-Ro out of the way. Using her tremendous strength, she picks up Despair Demon without any effort and dumps him in her cooking Cauldron. A fate that Sim, OneWomanArmy and Jock Cranley knew all too well.



Reaching into her bag of ingredients, she throws spicy and toxic seasoning all over E-Ro, demoralising the Crusader.



Despair shrieks and screams, the pain of being cooked alive incredibly difficult to bear.




"Let him stew for a while. I'll never catch up at this rate. Nah, for real though. We'll get you out!"

Walker recovers first and strikes hard at the Hag.



budgee on the other hand throws a Stun Grenade at the monster, hoping to catch it off-guard and provide an opening to save Despair Demon.



However, the maneuver fails to stun the Hag, and Despair Demon continues to take damage as the Hag carefully guards her Cauldron.



The Lobbyists brace for impact as the Hag charges at them with her Mallet. The monster inflicts bruise after bruise as she swings wildly.



Walker thrusts her Glaive at the Hag and uses it's long reach to keep the monster at bay.



Still, they were no closer to rescuing Despair Demon.




"Fuuck! We need to get him out of there."


"Ugh! She goes berserk whenever we try and tip the pot over, we need to get rid of her first!"

budgee breaks formation and charges the Hag. He had to get his gambling partner out of that Cauldron.




"Goddammit. Eating people? She's as twisted as my ex-wife. Fat too."

The Hag attacks again with her Mallet and the Lobbyists are pushed back.




"Crap! No matter how hard we hit her, she just comes back at us. Hold on, DD, I'm coming to get you!"


"You better! I'm going to need a lot of happy ending massages to get over all this PAIN!"

budgee throws another Stun Grenade at the Hag.



The Grenade explodes in her face, and the Hag is taken aback.



Weakened and reeling from their relentless attacks, E-Ro spots an opening. He takes it. Running past Despair Demon and the boiling Cauldron, he charges at the monster who took away his beloved.


"I judge you in the name of the Light. Your life is forfeit, now pay for your crimes!! Rarghhh! DOMINA FRENCH TICKLER ATTACK!"




"Eww."


"That seems a bit much."

Despite unsettling his allies, E-Ro's attack was deathly effective. Penetrated by E-Ro's thrust, the Hag coughs and splurts out blood, before succumbing to her injuries and keeling over to die.



Working together, they tip over the Cauldron and finally free Despair Demon.




"W-what took you so long..."

The Highwayman collapses, down but still breathing. He was on Death's Door, but with the Hag dead, he would survive.

E-Ro takes a look at the chest the Hag kept. And he helped himself.



Finding a small pile of gold and a leather-bound book, he stashes the gold away and opens the book. He recognises the handwriting.


"T-this is Domina's handwriting! That Hag ****** must've kept her Diary after she killed her!"


"I'm glad we could avenge our friends, but E-Ro we need to get back and patch up Despair Demon, he's in really bad shape."

Realising the Hellion was right, E-Ro closes the book shut for now. The Lobbyists trek back to town, victorious.



...

As a wounded Despair Demon is taken to be healed and cared for, budgee and Johnnie Walker head to the Tavern where they're treated like champions. Although not for beating the Hag and avenging their fallen friends.


"We're back and we're loaded! Barkeep! Bust out the Blue Label! This night, everyone drinks free!"

E-Ro on the other hand, walks to the Graveyard where he can be alone with his thoughts, and his Domina's Diary.




"Hmm. Let's see what it says."

E-Ro flips past the earlier entries, things written about their time together, about her life as she grew into adulthood. The Crusader smiles fondly at the writings but focuses on the last few entries, the ones that talk about the BSN.


"Arriving here at the BSN, my mission was simple. Search for the corruption that festers in this place and purge it with the Light. And I feel like I've found a user on the BSN who has been corrupted. He's highly revered for his high post count and royal birth, but there lies a darker nature to the man. I fear that he may shed his human form and return to the Warrens where he can continue his foul work. But I must first ingratiate myself to the denizens here."

Intrigued, E-Ro flips the page and reads on. But there's nothing more about the corrupted BSN user.


"I came with a guy named Despair Demon, he seems like a nice enough person. Bit too obsessed with gambling and whores though. KingTony back at the Monastery would love him. I keep hearing about this fellow Sim who is leading the BSN expedition parties. Everyone hates him for some reason, which is a shame. I've always liked Sim. His courage in battle reminds me a bit of E-Ro, though he's obviously not as handsome heheh... I'll talk to Sim about the corrupted royal after we finish taking out some old Hag. I'm so glad he trusts me to be in this important expedition. R'hllor be praised, soon I will be reunited with my beloved and we can purge BSN of evil as it's 'King and Queen'. Haha."

Holding back tears, E-Ro closes the book again. Tying it with string around his belt, OneWomanArmy's diary would be E-Ro's keepsake. A reminder of what he has lost. And a reminder that he fights for a good cause.


"The Warrens, huh? It sounds like the best place to start. I guess I'll head to the Tavern and ask the others if they want in. Despair should be okay, budgee would want to even the score for their bet."

E-Ro smiles. He may have lost his Domina, but he wasn't alone. He still had good friends he could rely on.


"And Walker, well... she makes a damn good combat partner. I hope she's interested. Maybe one day, we could be drinking buddies. I'd like that."

[Dio Demon]

I'm speechless. E-Ro's attack... what!? I don't even...

 

At least I won the bet... worth the third degree burns covering 98% of my body.

[Bison]

I'm speechless. E-Ro's attack... what!? I don't even...

 

At least I won the bet... worth the third degree burns covering 98% of my body.

As I used to say when I died but got a kill in Dota.

 

#worthggwpIgotthemwecanstopplayingnowi1v1dandwoniveemotionallycrushedtheircarryahahahaha

[Johnnie Walker]

Despair shrieks and screams, the pain of being cooked alive incredibly difficult to bear.

 

"Goddammit. Eating people? She's as twisted as my ex-wife. Fat too."

lmaooo

 

"I judge you in the name of the Light. Your life is forfeit, now pay for your crimes!! Rarghhh! DOMINA FRENCH TICKLER ATTACK!"

Couldn't help but think of this.

https://youtu.be/r_2Jduxc2P8?t=1m8s

 

"We're back and we're loaded! Barkeep! Bust out the Blue Label! This night, everyone drinks free!"

Hope you little sh*ts are grateful. Blue Label is 249 dollars a bottle. =I

 

"And Walker, well... we might not be drinking buddies yet. But she makes a damn good combat partner. I hope she's interested.

 

[mybudgee]

Best one yet

[Fast Jimmy]

I didn't choose the non-proofread life. The non-proofread life chose me.

As recovering Grammar Nazi, I can honestly say both of your "nonproofread" posts have been excellently crafted - no typos or errors I spotted in either of them.


Not bad considering kangaroo is your country's native language!

Also... what possible corrupted "royal" with a high post count could Crusty be taking about...?

[CrazyRah]

Close one there with Despair, also E-Ro's attack.. wow!