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[A Crusty Knight Of Colour]

I have to juggle PoE with Darkest Dungeon and this makes me a casual gamer apparently.

[Johnnie Walker]

You're finally getting something right.

[A Crusty Knight Of Colour]

You're finally getting something right.

[A Crusty Knight Of Colour]

Chapter 22:

As Sim and the others make their way back to town, they find that the other Lobbyists were already gathered. Reading a note or message or some kind.


"I am tired of you Lobbyists and your Off-Topic posting. None of you ever keep to the thread topic, and it always devolves into shitposting or drama spats. It infuriates me. Every single off-topic post is an affront to decency. I had decided to let you live because you used to be part of the Community. But now you're just scum. The kind of filth I'll wipe off my boots when I've finished changing the BSN for the better. If you dare tread into the Warrens again, I will make sure you won't make it out alive. I went easy on you last time. I'm no longer the LPPrince. I'm LPKing and I will make everyone bow down."


"Prince... Why did you have to go over the deep end, mang..."


"Ha! This noisy fool proclaims himself the ruler of all? That title is reserved for the Emperor of Man! I defy his letter. Friends, let us journey immediately into the Warrens and show him that we mean business!"


"Kings, Emperors, Men. You are all flesh and blood weaklings. I have transcended your weaknesses and I will guide you out of the darkness. As the future President of BSN, I will lead this expedition into the Warrens."


"You're still new here, Lotion. Are you sure you want to take on a Veteran mission?"


"Не принимают нас за слабаков , мы можем взять на себя любой вызов!"


"Bison is right, we're far from weaklings and we're ready for all challenges. Besides, one of us might die! Hyahahah..."

With Rah getting the last word, the other Lobbyists let the newest group do as they pleased. Bison, Lotion and Rah prepare for their trek into the Warrens. At least the Veteran Su Lu Pi was around to help keep them calm.



After some bickering between Su Lu Pi and Lotion over who should lead the group, Bison shoves them both to the side and leads the Lobbyists into the Warrens.



It isn't long until they encounter some truly disturbing creatures. LPKing was hard at work, spawning hell-ish monsters for his master takeover plan.



The large Ghoul opens proceedings with a screeching Howl, demoralising the Lobbyists.



Rah bounces back quickly, catching both their foes off-guard.



The Ghoul lunges back at Rah in retaliation but the nimble Jester easily dodges.



Lotion finishes off the mass of tentacles with prejudice.



Allowing Bison to score a fatal blow on the Ghoul.




"I thought this place was supposed to be a challenge. Is this the best you have, LPKing?"

The group moves quickly to the next room.



Catching a group of spiders by surprise.




"Now this is more like it! Just like home!"

Rah leaps into action, expertly slicing away at the spiders.




"AHAHA! AHAHAH HAHAHAHAH!"

Bison then whips out the links to the DotA 2 MLG videos he's liked on YouTube, devastating the spider formation.




"OHHHH!! #SWAGKILL #NOSCOPED #RAMPAGE"

Su Lu Pi gets the final kill, with a powerful Noxious Gas grenade tossed at the last remaining spider.



The team takes the treasure and they move on to the next room.


"GG, mates. This is pretty easy. I don't know why all of those guys back in town were worried we took this job."

The Crusader however, spoke too soon. Traversing the various sewers in the Warrens, they come across more foes.



One of them manages to bite Bison and inflict him with a deadly disease.




"By the Emperor! What a foul illness! You must hold onto your sanity and health long enough for us to reach town and treat you. Else we must purge you from existence. The mission comes first!"

Su Lu Pi shakes her head.


"You flesh and blood types have so many weaknesses."

If Bison was starting to lose his mind as a result of being infected with Rabies, he certainly didn't show it. The solemn young Crusader focused on the battle at hand and attacked their enemies with strength and precision.



However it became clear that despite his strong mental resistance, he wasn't holding up as well physically.



Rah steps in and strikes successfully at the Swine.




"Diseases I don't like. Give me blood and DEATH!!"

It doesn't take long for all of the pigs to succumb to Rah's fierce attacks.



The Lobbyists take a small break, re-arranging the party formation to let Lotion lead, before continuing on their expedition. It was nearly over. Only one room remains.



To no one's surprise, another group of enemies await the Lobbyists.



Before the Lobbyists have time to organise themselves, the tentacle monster slithers towards them and strikes out at Lotion.



Su Lu Pi moves fast to immobilise their other foes before they too strike.



She then turns her attention to the tentacle monster, throwing Noxious Gas to separate it from her allies.



However the attempt only enrages the monster further, striking at Lotion with even more viciousness.



But rather than fearing for his life, the Crusader seemed to relish the strong opponent.


"Come you aliens, show me what passes for fury amongst your misbegotten kind!"

Lotion swings his mighty sword, and chops away at the beast. He fells the monster after exchanging many exhausting blows with it.



With the large monster down, the smaller ones fall away quite easily. They're hurt, they're tired, they're stressed and one of them is even diseased. But they took on the most fearsome monsters LPKing had to throw at them, and they came out victorious.

[Dio Demon]

Well, Bison has rabies. It's too late for him. *pulls out hunting rifle* Time to take old yeller to the back of the shed...

[Fast Jimmy]

OOOH #SWAGKILL #NOSCOPED #RAMPAGE

Ha! I laughed. Good update.

[A Crusty Knight Of Colour]

Well, Bison has rabies. It's too late for him. *pulls out hunting rifle* Time to take old yeller to the back of the shed...

You can heal it in the Sanitarium but I know you guys are getting impatient...

[Degenerate Rakia Time]

LOL. Letting him die when you can fix this would be too cruel by far. 

 

Save him please!

nonono, let him die

[LPPrince]

Little did y'all know it was merely a test to make you stronger. *Here for you with outstretched arms*

 

*begins ducking projectile attacks*

 

GUYS WHY WHAT THE HELL

[Voxr]

My favorite part was when Bison used his MLG videos. I wept. So much emotion in that scene. 

[Dio Demon]

You can heal it in the Sanitarium but I know you guys are getting impatient...

I'm just saying... I know a lost cause when I see one... like Sim.

 

Little did y'all know it was merely a test to make you stronger. *Here for you with outstretched arms*

 

*begins ducking projectile attacks*

 

GUYS WHY WHAT THE HELL

You sic'd Biomod 2 on us. You deserve it!

[LPPrince]

You sic'd Biomod 2 on us. You deserve it!

 

I could alert Biomods 1-37 if you want me to, but I thought that might be overkill. SOOOORRRY

 

Point is, you're all better off as a result of my testing. Call it effective academic peer review. You passed!

 

I still think you're all poisoning the decency of The Lobby, but you see, I tolerate you lot.

 

I need you all here for my post-count to ascend to the next level.

 

We need each other, team. So no worries. We're good.

 

Still, ENOUGH WITH THE GODDAMN PROJECTILES DO YOU KNOW HOW BLOODY HARD IT IS TO MONOLOGUE WITH PEOPLE THROWING AND SHOOTING THINGS AT YOU *EXPLETIVE*

[Dio Demon]

I could alert Biomods 1-37 if you want me to, but I thought that might be overkill. SOOOORRRY

 

Point is, you're all better off as a result of my testing. Call it effective academic peer review. You passed!

 

I still think you're all poisoning the decency of The Lobby, but you see, I tolerate you lot.

 

I need you all here for my post-count to ascend to the next level.

 

We need each other, team. So no worries. We're good.

 

Still, ENOUGH WITH THE GODDAMN PROJECTILES DO YOU KNOW HOW BLOODY HARD IT IS TO MONOLOGUE WITH PEOPLE THROWING AND SHOOTING THINGS AT YOU *EXPLETIVE*

I WILL DIO YOUR DOG!

 

And before you say anything watch episode 1 of JoJo's Bizarre Adventures (2012) watch to the end and it'll show you what I'll do to your dog and no, it's not what Recon does to Luna...

[LPPrince]

I WILL DIO YOUR DOG!

 

And before you say anything watch episode 1 of JoJo's Bizarre Adventures (2012) watch to the end and it'll show you what I'll do to your dog and no, it's not what Recon does to Luna...

 

I don't have a dog LOLOLOLOL

 

TWIST OF PLOT

 

NOT THE KIND RECON LIKES BUT STILL A PLOT TWIST

[Dio Demon]

I don't have a dog LOLOLOLOL

 

TWIST OF PLOT

 

NOT THE KIND RECON LIKES BUT STILL A PLOT TWIST

BBS sending you a cute dog in the mail...

[LPPrince]

BBS sending you a cute dog in the mail...

 

[Dio Demon]

Now get attached and watch JoJo.

 

Learn what will happen to your puppy and what I will do to it, No-Recon.

[CrazyRah]

Bison you better get better, so far you've been a vital part in much mayhem and death. Can't let that end just yet!

[LPPrince]

Now get attached and watch JoJo.

 

Learn what will happen to your puppy and what I will do to it, No-Recon.

 

Too cute, cannot do

[Bison]

Bison you better get better, so far you've been a vital part in much mayhem and death. Can't let that end just yet!

I'll be right, i've got people to kill, and being healthy is vital to this end

[Lotion Soronarr]

Now get attached and watch JoJo.

 

Learn what will happen to your puppy and what I will do to it, No-Recon.

 

Dog are humanities most trusted and oldest companions, loved by the Emperor himself!

 

Woe to those that harm those blessed creatures, for I shall deliver righteous retribution upon them a thousandfold!

The very universe will cry in horror at the fate you will suffer and Slaneesh him/herself will balk at the exteeme of pain and suffering visited upon you.

[A Crusty Knight Of Colour]

Chapter 23:

"Hey, not bad. Bison and the others came back okay."


"I'm not sure 'okay' is not a word you'd use to describe Bison."


"Отправить меня обратно в ! Я хочу , чтобы убить больше врагов !"


"Ehh. He'll be fine, just lock him up in the Sanitarium. See you in a week or two, Bison!"

Walker and Despair Demon make their way back to the tavern where mybudgee and E-Ro were waiting.


"With the other squad clearing the way, we can reach the Swine King. I'm still new here, but I've really grown to love this place, and you guys. So, we need to finish this."


"Yes. This has gone on long enough. We need a resolution to this."


"I wish it didn't have to be this way..."


"I do. It would come to this sooner or later. We know what we must do, right?"

The others nod.


"Kill LPKing!"


"Win the bet!"

The two pairs of Lobbyists look at each other, then shrug. Whatever works.

The team stocks up on supplies, mentally prepared to take on LPKing.



Johnnie Walker leads them down into the Warrens to confront LPKing once more.



She leads them, empty room after empty room. Bison, Lotion, Rah and Su Lu Pi must've done a really good job at thinning LPKing's numbers.



As stress and anticipation builds, the Lobbyists' impatience get the better of them. They bust open the door to the next room, making their way inside. Fortuitously, they manage to shock a group of bandits looting the place.



Despair Demon pulls out his pistol and gets the first shot in. He doesn't miss.



Smirking, Despair Demon whirls around to taunt budgee, but the Bounty Hunter wasn't flat footed in the least. He leaps into action, bringing down his deadly hand-axe on one of the bandits, evening the score.



Walker grips her Glaive and thrusts it into the heart of the last remaining bandit, the thief going down in seconds.



Moving towards the next room, Walker promptly stops for a moment as the Lobbyists discover scrolls left on the ground addressed to her. Presumably from LPKing.




"I'll defend myself if you come after me, but I am still your friend, Heather. I'm trying to make a better forum, one that you can enjoy with all your old friends and new ones to boot. Don't you want that?"

The private message puts Walker ill at ease.



Putting aside her doubts for the moment, she leads the team down a twisted narrow sewer through to another room. A room filled with enemies.



Despair Demon whips out his trusted pistol and fires! Realising all too late that he forgot to reload it.

mybudgee takes advantage and attacks the Swine Drummer. One thing he also takes is the lead.




"One whole week, DD. Can't wait for it!"

E-Ro on the other hand, was dealing with some nasty swine vomit.



As he struggled to wipe it off, he went back to the mantra that centered him and gave him focus.


"WWDD? Or rather, what would Domina order me to do?"

The Crusader thinks for a moment, then charges recklessly at the foe. She'd tell E-Ro to kick it's ass. And he did exactly that.



The Lobbyists focus their attacks on the remaining Swinetaur, cutting and slicing at him from all directions. As large as it may be, the Swinetaur doesn't last long against the onslaught.



With their path clear, they continue on for a while, until Johnnie Walker stops the group temporarily.




"Aww hell yeah! I bet ya'll never had moonshine before. Well, lemme tell ya, it's something special!"

She picks up the barrel and guzzles most of it down for herself before sharing the remainder with the other Lobbyists. As they leave behind the empty barrel and move on, it becomes obvious to all that Walker may have become intoxicated.

The hiccuping Hellion leads them down a weird and unusual path, surprising a group of monsters in the process.



Moving quickly to end the battle, E-Ro shifts into position and unleashes his most fearsome attack. The Crusader completely obliterates his chosen target.




"I think of you every day, Domina. Especially when I practice my hard thrust technique."

Despair Demon unloads a few rounds in his chosen opponent, killing it as a disappointed budgee watches from a distance.



With the team ganging up on the tentacle monster, Walker gets the final kill and leads them further down the twisted path.


"Hey, what if *hic* Prince's name is actually 'Warren'? And that's why they call this place the *hic* W-warrens. Ahaha!"

It isn't long until they encounter yet another group of foes. However this time, they see the Lobbyists approach.

http://i.imgur.com/8GZAWJW.jpg/img]

The Swine Drummer moves first, attempting to Debilitate Johnnie Walker.



However it doesn't work, and she quickly strikes back.



The Drummer is wounded deeply and soon succumbs to his injuries.

As E-Ro dispatches of the masked Swine Chopper, budgee tries his luck against the large Swine beast.



He wounds but, but it's not a fatal blow. The Bounty Hunter swings again.



The monster pushes him back temporarily, and as budgee regains his balance, Despair Demon swoops in and finishes the beast off.




"Just as you say, budgee! Can't wait for that week!"

As they finish the last of their foes off, E-ro pulls Walker aside. She was going to lead them to their doom. The Hellion insisting that they were close to LPKing. After some scouting from budgee which confirmed that Walker had a method to the madness, E-Ro sighs and decides to make camp. Better that they are ready to go once they confront the corrupted royal.



Exchanging few words, but a few pats on the shoulder, the Lobbyists extinguish their campfire well rested, and make their way to the final chamber where LPKing would surely be waiting for them.



LPKing didn't disappoint, as he waited for them to shuffle inside. The Lobbyists notice that BioMod2 was once again accompanying the fallen poster. Proving once and for all that you can't kill a robot.



The team take their battle stances as LPKing moves to greet them...