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[thE-Ro]

"Can you imagine dying like that? Getting poisoned by some Fungus monster and having your insides turn to mush while you bleed to death, unable to vocalise your own suffering?"

[The Love Runner]

E-Ro has returned??!!

THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING.

[Fast Jimmy]

Undoubtedly, Fast Jimmy shall remain unharmed, unfettered and unrelenting. As it should be.

[Jock Cranley]

Is anyone still alive?

[Leo]

Is anyone still alive?

 

No, Crusty Knight had everyone killed in a fit of madness.

[The Love Runner]

No, Crusty Knight had everyone killed in a fit of madness.

Because THIS IS SPARTA!!!!

[Dio Demon]

No, Crusty Knight had everyone killed in a fit of sanity.

Fixed that for you.

[Simfam]

So this Friday we get another Berserk chapter.

 

Let's see if we get another DD chapter to go with it.

 

If Guts doesn't land on shore I at least need Impulse to Trim the Fat™ to make me feel better.

 

Or me being the worst group leader since that one dude in Poseidon Adventure who killed lots of people.

[Decepticon Leader Sully]

He is the ERo we need not the one we want or need.. or deserve.

My nemesis 

[Johnnie Walker]

I'd rather see everyone break down into despair. The alternative is just too messy. 

 

He should definitely go all H.P. Lovecraft. Nobody dies, they just have a psychotic neurasthenia where they cannot see reality thus ending up in mad houses, repeating their nightmares over and over but are completely convinced they are not demented, trying killing anyone around them while they hallucinate filthy creatures like SJWs and ME3 MP forumers.

[leighzard]

"As part of her authoritative personality, she happens to be a bit of a Lurker."

 

 

I had no idea I'd been written in.  It's a dubious honor, I suppose.

Now I just have to wait for my inevitable gruesome death.

[Fast Jimmy]

"As part of her authoritative personality, she happens to be a bit of a Lurker."



I had no idea I'd been written in. It's a dubious honor, I suppose.
Now I just have to wait for my inevitable gruesome death.

Just make sure you journey with me. Fast Jimmy has a safe, zero death count so far this entire series. No one need worry when riding in the saddle with me.

<purposefully poking the bear to see if Crusty takes the bait>

[Johnnie Walker]

Behind the scenes photo cause I'm privileged. Check yours.

 

Sound like me tbh. 

 

[Fast Jimmy]

Behind the scenes photo cause I'm privileged. Check yours.

Sound like me tbh.

Heh. Yeah, thats got Heathbro written all over it.

[A Crusty Knight Of Colour]

Chapter 29:

The new group arrives at the Lobby, as the other teams wonder in surprise why anyone would want to join them in the cesspool. Still, they couldn't help but be impressed by how quickly they had gotten rid of the MP Brigands. At least until Sim got ahold of them.


"What do you mean they're not dead? We destroyed their cannon and killed them where they stood!"


"But some got away, in your own words. MP posters are like cancer, if you don't purge it all, they will regroup and strike again. Literal cancer."


"Well, if they come back, then we'll just take them out again. We need to rest first though."


"Corvus? Uhh... nevermind actually... a rest sounds nice."

Sim sighs.


"Well, don't worry about it. Better you know now then get ambushed by them later. Nice job disrupting their plans by the way, and welcome to the Lobby."

With leighzard, Jehuty, Voxr and Corvus I happily mingling with the other Lobbyists, Sim takes his team to the side and lays out his plan.


"Look, the amount of enemies we've gotten has increased by a big margin. And we'll need all the items and relics we can get to help stave them off. What I suggest is that we search the Ruins for any Holy Relics. It might help in taking out the Necromancer who's trying to reviv-"


"Revive Zombie T? That's what you're going to say? Man, I'm so sick of all that. Just let him revive and we'll kick his ass."


"No! Not just Zombie T. You don't get it. If the Necromancer can revive Zombie T, he can revive anyone as an evil monstrosity! Do you want to see a Zombie EP?? A Zombie EP that can't be killed, going in every thread infecting people with Zombie T related hysteria? Because that's what will happen!"


".... Point taken."

The group was convinced. The Necromancer needed to be slain once and for all. But first, Holy Relics needed to be stockpiled for the upcoming battle.



The team enters the Ruins and begin their search for the Holy Relics. Sim leads the way through the narrow halls, telling his group to exercise caution but the ever fervent Lotion fails to heed the warning and steps on a trap.



However, they are able to enter a room and assess the damage to the Crusader's leg. It wasn't something worth worrying about and they continue forward.




"'Tis but a scratch!"

The Lobbyists enter another corridor and they soon come upon a band of vicious undead.



Taking a morbid delight in battle, Rah pulls out his lute and performs a song to "boost" the morale of the group.




"It takes a man courage, to seek out true glory... but I'd rather they fail, with deaths oh so gory..."

However the words resonated deeply with Sim for some reason, who quickly went to work. The Leper swung his mighty blade, and the Skeletons fell away, unable to withstand his powerful blows.





With their enemies hacked to pieces, Dio Demon spots a glass display nearby. He wonders if the skeletons they faced were there to guard it.

Lotion approaches the Reliquary.



And finds what they're looking for. Dio's hunch was right.



In good spirits, the Lobbyists explore more of this area of Ruins and come across a library. As they step inside, looking for respite, they find the opposite. A powerful group of enemies and yet another glass display.



Dio was in no mood to waste time. Whipping out his pistol, he quickly fires at their enemies, catching one completely off-guard.



Sim and Lotion meanwhile, begin to engage the skeletons in melee combat. The armoured skeleton strikes first, at Lotion.



With the Crusader off balance, he continues to strike at the Lobbyists, aiming for Sim as well.



Lotion and Sim intentionally give way to the undead combatants, disrupting their formation and allowing Rah and Dio to avoid the fray and take out the unguarded skeletons at the rear.



Dio moves back into the melee, charging at the armoured skeleton and flanking it.



The arrogant Highwayman also takes a moment to point out their enemy's predicament.



As realisation dawns on the armoured foe, he's completely unprepared for Sim's savage finishing strike.



With their enemies ground to dust, Sim casually approaches the glass display and retrieves the second Holy Relic they came to find. Only one more to go.



They continue roaming corridors and hallways before Dio spots a very poorly placed trap.



He dismantles it with ease.



Laughing, he runs ahead of the group. Seeing another glass display, he smashes it open. Except for that terrible trap, completely unguarded. The last Holy Relic.



Rah sighs audibly.


"Hnnn... this was way too easy. I wanted someone to die, or at least get bloody but this is a complete waste."


"Are you joking? From the very beginning, this is what I have wanted. A safe milk run for us all."


"Have Faith in your Emperor! While He blesses us from the Golden Throne, no harm shall come to this expedition! But let us not incur His Divine Wrath, we need to return to the Lobby and secure His Holy Relics so that they can be studied and used against our enemies."


"Can the Emperor bring us better loot instead? I'm with Rah, this was boring."

The team bickers for a while longer before Sim, going against his better judgement, adjudicates in favour of Rah and Dio.


"Fine. We'll keep going to find more loot. But I just know I'm going to regret this..."

So, even with their quest complete, they press forward.



It doesn't take the team long to find what they're looking for. They enter a room of mean looking undead foes guarding what looked like a treasure chest.



Unfortunately, the skeletons get the jump on the Lobbyists. As Rah attempts to whip out his Lute, he's shot in the chest by a crossbow bolt.



Heavily armoured and highly decorated, a huge skeleton Captain creates a shockwave using his Mace. The ground reverberates and collapses under the weight of the Lobbyists, catching Rah and Dio off-guard.



Crying out for his Emprah, Lotion charges at the Captain head on. Showing zero fear, he strikes at the enemy hard, penetrating the massive plate armour.



Sim quickly shakes off the effects of the attack and sets the Captain in his sights. Unfortunately, as he charges, the undead quickly swats Lotion off to the side and hammers his Spiked Mace into the earth once more.



Already stunned from the previous attack, Rah was completely defenseless for the second blow. He falls over and coughs blood, unable to get up on his own power.



Getting up off the ground, Lotion quickly engages with the Captain once more. Deftly avoiding the large and powerful swings of the skeleton, he is able to land a fatal blow, piercing the armour with his mighty sword.



An enraged Sim and Lotion wipe out the remaining enemies as Dio helps Rah gets up. The group quickly wins the battle after the Captain falls and a worried Sim insists that the team rest and recover before heading back to the Lobby. Dio, being Dio, took the opportunity to make light of the situation.



Tasteless the Highwayman may be, he had every right to be. Despite the close call with Rah, they were all alive and had accomplished what they had set out to do.

[Dio Demon]

 

 

The arrogant Highwayman also takes a moment to point out their enemy's predicament.

It's not arrogance! It's me being polite and pointing out there situation before they die... it's a courtesy!

 

 

 

Yeah... that's something I'd say.

[Fast Jimmy]

Sim going on a run with no party massacres? Not even a Death's Door?!

We are surely living in the End Times.

[Dio Demon]

Sim going on a run with no party massacres? Not even a Death's Door?!

We are surely living in the End Times.

It's because I was there.

 

According to Crusty and I am the crit God. I think it's the change in avatar.

[Fast Jimmy]

It's because I was there.

According to Crusty and I am the crit God. I think it's the change in avatar.

Why would a picture of a chick's back help out with fighting?

[leighzard]

Sim going on a run with no party massacres? Not even a Death's Door?!

We are surely living in the End Times.

Well, close call with Rah, but the power of love is the the greatest healer.

[Fast Jimmy]

Well, close call with Rah, but the power of love is the the greatest healer.

I've got some News... Huey Lewis is the BOMB.

[Dio Demon]

Why would a picture of a chick's back help out with fighting?

 

...

 

Fear Dio.

 

 

Well, close call with Rah, but the power of bro is the the greatest healer.

Fixed. Let's not insult them. The power of bro far exceeds that power of love.

[A Crusty Knight Of Colour]

Dio is a chick. I like it.

[CrazyRah]

Oh the taste of blood is quite memorable. A dance with death is ever so interesting! Also some really nice hits from people in this chapter!

 

Well, close call with Rah, but the power of love is the the greatest healer.

 

Oh so true, so very true! When together not even death stand a chance!

[A Crusty Knight Of Colour]

Hmm.