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Let's Play: Darkest Dungeon! (Lobbyists Slay The Evil That's Consumed The BSN)


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#1176
A Crusty Knight Of Colour

A Crusty Knight Of Colour
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Chapter 37:


With budgee contemplating his demise, Bison takes it upon himself to weather the brunt of the Skeleton Captain's attacks. He skillfully avoids it's damaging blows.

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While chipping away at it's durability.

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With a roar, budgee charges into the fray, flanking one of the Skeletal Warriors.

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"Hurt me plenty, I can take it. Can you?!"

The Necromancer glides through to the front of the enemy formation, taking the Lobbyists by surprise. Focusing on Bison and budgee, he claws and slices the pair.

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However, before he's able to deal a fatal blow, the Necromancer is repelled by ruggly's toxic gas

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Licking his wounds - literally, he attacks the Skeleton Captain.

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The toxic gas finally starts taking it's toll on the Necromancer as he retreats to the back of the formation.

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Where he continues to pile on the stress with mental attacks on the Lobbyists.

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ruggly begins to express her doubts with the way the battle was panning out.

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However, it's Bison on the frontlines whose resolve gets tested first.

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And unfortunately, cracks begin to form in his psyche.

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"Нет! Это уже слишком! Я не хочу, чтобы shrek'd!"

Seeing Bison break down in front of her, ruggly reaches her breaking point.

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However, unlike her comrade, her Resolve and desire to live strengthens.

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The Skeleton Captain disregards the team's internal battles, and strikes them hard with a powerful shockwave.

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With the shockwave pushing the Lobbyists back, the Necromancer ventures to the front for another devastating attack, catching budgee off-guard while Bison, abnormally twitchy, manages to avoid the attack.

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Invigorated by the pain, budgee strikes at the Necromancer, however one of it's summoned minions gets in the way and takes the hit instead.

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budgee does a double take, he wasn't expecting their enemies to sacrifice themselves for the Necromancer. Unfortunately, his surprise allows the lumbering Skeleton Captain to get within striking distance, and the undead foe doesn't hestitate.

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"H-hey, wait! My body isn't ready!"

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budgee falls to the ground, completely blindsided by the attack. He fails to get up and is knocked unconcious. Though he's close to death, the masochist seemed to smile as he got hit.

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ruggly attempts to encourage budgee and protect budgee.

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By running past and ignoring the dying Bounty Hunter to attack their enemies instead.

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Low on health, the Necromancer resumes his position at the back of the formation and prepares for another mental attack.

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It strikes a prone and motionless budgee first, before spreading to ruggly. The Bounty Hunter doesn't react but the Plague Doctor does well to keep her fear in check.

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Despite avoiding the last attack, Bison starts to succumb to the mental pressure.

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Hands shaking, he lunges desperately at the Necromancer.

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He connects, but is unable to finish off the wounded spellcaster.

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"почему не умрет?!"

The twitchy Crusader manages to dodge the Skeleton Captain's fierce and desperate maneuver, preventing him from finishing off the Necromancer for good.

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"Sh*t! We were so close! I've got a raging boner here but I can't finish myself off until we finish these enemies off!"

Bison spins around to see a wounded, but determined budgee. He feels reassured by the resilience shown by his teammate until he spots the unmistakable protrusion coming from budgee's torn pants.

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"P-put that away! Save it for when we get back to the Lobby!"

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"That's what I intended... but... what if it gets slashed?? Oh, that would really hurt."

The look on budgee's face suggesting that he did not mind getting hurt at all.

ruggly makes a disgusted noise loud enough for the other Lobbyists to hear. Sully was even harsher at budgee for his new masochism fetish.

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"Can we leave this freak here and just go home without him?"

Bison awkwardly moves out of budgee's way and leaves the front of the formation for the Bounty Hunter to fill.

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If anything, budgee seemed pleased that Bison stepped aside.

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He yells out to their perplexed foes.

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With budgee's words rousing them to action, the undead foes charge at the Lobbyists. However, budgee ducks and weaves around the first attack, an errant swing from a Skeleton Soldier, and pushes him back with a few crushed bones.

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The Skeleton Captain strides towards the Bounty Hunter, however, he loses his step and stumbles over. A whole begins to appear in the thick armour. It grows larger, the armour being eaten away and the fearsome Skeleton Captain reduced to a pile of bone and ash inside it.

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"Heh. All according to plan."

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"You can't be serious."

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"Just try me, memelord."

ruggly points at the Necromancer, swaying from side to side. With seemingly no control over it's body, it too topples over.

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"All according to uhh.. plan...? Yeah. Totally planned that."

ruggly strikes a pose as the Necromancer goes down.

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After a moment, she curses herself under her breath for doing it, though Bison is quick to curse her out loud.

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"Bullsh*t! There's no way you planned this! The both of you, you just got lucky! невероятно! Я бороться и бороться близко, и эти суки выиграть газом их издалека!"

Frustrated and putting aside his fear from earlier, Bison rushes the lone Skeleton Soldier. Against the fury of an angry Crusader, it stood no chance in close quarters.

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And just like that, it was over. The Lobbyists had survived.

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  • Leo, mousestalker, mybudgee et 7 autres aiment ceci

#1177
Dio Demon

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DAMN I WANTED BUDGEE TO DIE!


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#1178
CrazyRah

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So close! So close to taste deeeeeeeeeeath!


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#1179
Dio Demon

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So close! So close to taste deeeeeeeeeeath!

Such teasing. It is unnecessarily cruel! Killing someone is a less crueler option. 


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#1180
Fast Jimmy

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Bahahahahaaa! Nicely done, nicely done. We will have to tell Sara about budgee' preference for pain.

#1181
Fast Jimmy

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Crusty...



...come out to plaaaaaaay...
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#1182
ruggly

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You got my apathy on point.


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#1183
Jehuty

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I WANNA KILL SOME ME3MP FORUMERS! IT'S TIME TO TRIM THE FAT!!!!!!!!!!


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#1184
KingTony

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I was really hoping that "Hey, wait, my body isn't ready!" would be Budgee's last words. Amazing work here Crusty, I love it!

#1185
A Crusty Knight Of Colour

A Crusty Knight Of Colour
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Chapter 38:


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"Never had a doubt we'd win. They couldn't have made it easier if they tried."

Bison arches his back and walks proudly into town, as Sully and ruggly come up the rear, carrying an unconscious budgee towards the Sanitarium. The triumphant Crusader is greeted by their combat pupils. leighzard leading Jehuty, Voxr and Corvus, with all four of them dressed for battle.

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"Bison, good thing you're back! Congratulations on surviving. We recently got word that moderators are still moving MP threads here and inviting MP Brigands to come back. We're going to head them off and show them their kind isn't welcome here."

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"Oh hey, good luck with that! I know I've trained you guys well. Look, I'm a veteran of many battles. I'm old and wise so you can trust my judgement when I tell you that those MP Brigands don't stand a chance!"

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"YEAH! I'M PUMPED! YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS, VOXR?!"

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"Don't do it, Jehuty..."

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"IT'S TIME TO"

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"why do you do this to me...?"

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"TRIM"

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"pls... no..."

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"THE"

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"stop..."

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"FAT!!!!!"

The Man-At-Mans winks at his comrades as he delivers the line, expecting some sort of applause from the group. But only the sound of crickets follow, as Corvus shakes her head and eyes Jehuty with disgust. The Man-At-Arms tries again to energise the group by pumping his fists in the air. Voxr tugs on leighzard's arm, begging her to let them leave Jehuty behind. Muttering 'freaking kids' under her breath, the Hellion rounds up the Lobbyists and leads them towards the Weald where the MP Brigands were known to congregate. Hopefully they wouldn't carry on, she didn't like threatening the group with turning back and going home.

Bison meanwhile, completely befuddled by Jehuty's display, makes his way towards the Tavern where everyone else surely was. The Crusader smiles, a well earned rest and a well earned glass of milk was on it's way.

The Lobbyists make their way to the Weald, albeit with more bickering..

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Unfortunately, their arguing draws the attention of a Cultist welcoming party.

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"This is your fault, Jehuty!"

Her hands shaking, leighzard walks calmly towards their enemies.

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"YOU GODDAMN ASSHOLES! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU ALL!!"

It was obvious to everyone that even though the Hellion yelled at the Cultists, that they weren't the real target of her outburst.

Avoiding eye contact with leighzard, Voxr sidesteps past her and directs his hound to attack the Cultist group. Bleach delivers a devastating attack on the enemy formation, slaying one of the Cultists.

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Corvus follows suit, launching a bolt through the heart of another.

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Before leigh is able to give the final blow, Jehuty leaps over the Hellion to deliver it himself.

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With their enemies dead, none of which from her hand, leighzard reluctantly puts aside her anger and bloodlust to lead the expedition forward.

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"Calm... blue... f*cking ocean..."

Grumbling to herself, she leads the group further and further into the Weald. The Lobbyists soon come to an impasse.

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They're able to dig and hack their way past the Thorny Thicklet easily enough, with the help of a trusty shovel.

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However, as they enter the next area, they're met with a treasure chest... and it's Ectoplasm guards.

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Voxr reacts first as the others get into position, and Bleach charges at the Ectoplasm, catching them off-guard.

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"God, I love dogs!"

Corvus meanwhile, lays down cover fire as Bleach navigates the battlefield and makes his way back to his owner.

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"Haha, stay bac- leigh?"

The Arbalest could only stand back and watch as leighzard charged towards their enemies.

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"DIE!!!"

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The largest mass of Ectoplasm strikes back at leighzard and Voxr. The agile Houndmaster dodges the Ectoplasm, but leigh is unable to avoid it. Fortunately, she doesn't sustain any major injuries as a result of the attack.

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Jehuty steps in and pushes back the Ectoplasm with a fearsome roar and bellow.

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However, the Ectoplasm strikes back twice as hard at the Hellion and Man-At-Arms, putting pressure on the frontline Lobbyists.

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Bleach is unleashed on the Ectoplasm once more, and his constant nipping at their heels creates distance between the Lobbyists and their enemies.

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Which Corvus exploits handily.

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leighzard moves back into the fray and swings her Halberd at the Giant Ectoplasm.

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However, the smaller Ectoplasm makes a save. It slimes leighzard and pushes her backwards, away from the Giant Ectoplasm.

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Giving the larger one enough room to press it's attack on Jehuty.

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Voxr whistles and points at the smaller Ectoplasm.

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"NOW, BLEACH! IT'S TIME TO CLEAN UP!"

The dog charges at the Ectoplasm, and takes it down with a single swift and powerful attack.

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"Time to... clean up...? Eww."

With the smaller nuisance clear, leighzard strikes a decisive blow against the Giant Ectoplasm, ending the battle.

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With the battle won, Voxr continues his "clean up" and cracks open the treasure chest for some well earned heirlooms and gold.

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"That battlecry actually worked! And look at all this gold! Jehuty is onto something here..."

leighzard however, asserts her authority on the matter almost immediately.

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"Voxr. Thanks for getting that thing off me, but if you use that catchphrase ever again, I will f*cking end you."

At this rate, it was going to be a long, long expedition.
  • Leo, mousestalker, leighzard et 6 autres aiment ceci

#1186
CrazyRah

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Ooh a chapter!

 

The ground is clearly thirsty, probably for some blood. And death!


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#1187
Simfam

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When will you introduce Geth and Puddi so they can complain about themselves being in the lp?

 

11/10 btw.

 

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"YEAH! I'M PUMPED! YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS, VOXR?!"

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"Don't do it, Jehuty..."

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"IT'S TIME TO"

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"why do you do this to me...?"

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"TRIM"

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"pls... no..."

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"THE"

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"stop..."

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"FAT!!!!!"

 


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#1188
KingTony

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Wooooo!

#1189
Jehuty

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15/10 Crusty. Fantastic job. 



#1190
Fast Jimmy

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Voxr + Jehuty = best mates for life
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#1191
leighzard

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63e5b840-a28b-11e3-83ac-dbd001b9a9c0_Osc

 

Crusty, you somehow manage to continue to outdo yourself.  Quite the feat.


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#1192
Dio Demon

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I knew I woke up for a reason!

 

(actually I just have weird sleep issues)

 

All these catchphrases need to end... they're causing me and by me I mean innocent passerby's physical pain.

 

I'm willing to compromise though. You can keep Voxr's.



#1193
thE-Ro

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I've got a few chapters to catch up on. Who needs textbooks when you have crusty LPs? 



#1194
mybudgee

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Bahahahahaaa! Nicely done, nicely done. We will have to tell Sara about budgee' preference for pain.


Who?!?

#1195
Fast Jimmy

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Who?!?


...Sara? Wasn't that the name? Ms. "Psychotic Attention to my Eyebrows?"

#1196
KingTony

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Who?!?


He meant Cassandra Saturn.

#1197
leighzard

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...Sara? Wasn't that the name? Ms. "Psychotic Attention to my Eyebrows?"

I believe that was "Hot Kim"


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#1198
Voxr

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I'm gonna need to Clean Up™ after reading this, if you know what I mean....

Spoiler


#1199
Fast Jimmy

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I believe that was "Hot Kim"


AH, right. "Kim." Not Sara. Hmmmm.

#1200
A Crusty Knight Of Colour

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I CLAIM POST #1200 IN THE NAME OF NEW CHAPTERS! TO HELL WITH POST #1200, I NEED A NEW PAGE!
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