Our story so far
It all began with a giant green mushroom that came from the planet goddamn freaking fabulous pluto to enslave us all. So it brought its favorite death ray to shoot at skeets with. My painful laser eyes which are pink that means world domination, ultilizing my powers of perception (but indecisive abilities) through my butt hole and into your mother loving pet hamster, Pansy, who is clearly claustrophic and actually a bear wielding a PanGalactic Groper and a toy lightsaber. The bear grinned sheepishly, the sheep grinned bearishly. Together they formed a blood brother pact so vicious that they couldn't attend public school, thus explaining their contempt for frolicking in the woods picking mushrooms and dreaming of boys and yogurt covered girls that want rhythmical regularity and balanced diets composed of clowns.
Do clowns taste funny? The silly sheep asked,
"Barely" the bear replied. And then walked away.
"Wait!" the sheep cried.
"Let's just do it!" The koala wept quietly.
The three of them headed off towards the hall of screaming skulls, when suddenly the mushroom emitted a toxic gas which fertilized the flowers and started The Happening. Thus bear deduced that the cake is a pie, and life is best spent eating lamb together with many friends.
The evil eagle came... WHAT THE HELL NOOOO...... then flew away. Messing with lesser green mushrooms but with more white cream than anyone could lick, "My cream!" shouted she couldn't stand anymore so she sat down. Her feet were aching with love for her awesome cooking skills, so she torched the kitchen and made a giant snowman out of various items, and then decided needlepoint was the better way to disguise the Blue-ray player he stole. Being a bad thief, she called the police who were busy with getting their eyebrows waxed, but they had no donuts, sadly, so they stole kids lunch money beat them up first the kids had rabies running the streets yelling like a Russian drag queen! That's what you always wanted to marry! Foaming at the mouth he looked down her elevator shaft and then flexed his bulging biceps, but then his neighbour flexed her biceps also, a third neighbour entered, who had no arms, began yodeling show tunes and sang lovely opera wearing nothing but a pair of worn sneekers, pearls, and a smile. Blood curling scream silenced the second neighbor, while the first neighbour smiled and began squatting furiously causing a buffalo stampede, but in the distance a nightingale sung sweetly. It's soothing melody lulled her to sleep while a fire killed everyone.
Charlie the cannibalistic clown traveled into a town, and bought some candy, then purchased a van, and they died horribly while Peter laughed maniacally and Wendy wept alone. Now Jacob was dead, or so they thought when they poked him with a cattle prod, but Jacob stood up exclaming "Damn that tickled" Peter and Wendy was annoyed by the walrus playing on a ukulele, they danced all night until a notorious gang and killed them all with kindness.
Bert longed to have a long bath in hot soapy shower with Elaine. He was a confused martian but a kind one. He often stabbed people for making fun of his baked apple pies before watching American Pie wearing a tutu and different colored socks on with some very large bunny slippers. "Gosh I am one sexy beast" And crapping on the picture of his nemesis who is now furious and swears vengeance upon his grandmother and her collection of tea cups. Meanwhile, back at the mansion the zombies had the munchies so they raided the fridge for brownies and chocolate icecream, but there was a bomb inside and Emma pushed the red button meanwhile, the blue button was pressed and strawberries landed from the sky in the ocean following to tie a tourniquet. Captain Crunch screamed when
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Posté 13 mars 2015 - 01:19
