I don't think I've ever played DAO using the pause-and-play. I'd pause once, maybe twice during the course of the game to emergency heal, but 99.9999% of the time I would play it in real-time. Same goes for Fallout. the only time I would bother using VATS is when I went up against a boss-type of enemy and wanted to be done with the combat quickly.
If anything, DAO is too easy on Normal. I can literally just right-click to initiate combat, walk away to get food or a drink, and the fight will be over by the time I get back because it's so passive and automated (I would know this because it's how I "fought" the Ogre in the Tower of Ishal and Branka in the Deep Roads). A companion might fall while I'm away, but that's hardly an issue when every other loot container holds multiple injury kits.
And I'd argue you are playing both games wrong. Or, at the very least, suboptimally. It reminds me of Arcanum - a game that should not be played in real time except for the briefest of encounters.
My comment in regards to difficulty was one Mike Laidlaw made himself after DA:O came out (during the time when Bioware made the bizarre decision to trash talk one of their best performing games of all time), saying DA:O on Normal was too hard and they were working to fix that with DA2. Shortly before the Awesome Button talk began.
Maybe the better solution would be to quit trying to place an "A" on every button masher who has levels and, instead, add a "T" (for traditional) to RPGs which follow a less action-based design ideology.