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[KingTony]

Woooooo! Aliens references!

Spoiler

Have you ever been mistaken for a man?

[TheBlackBaron]

Spoilers for several chapters ahead although I'm probably at a point where I'll start to skip over things (there's an entire downed Scout mission that will probably be glanced over since even with Sim in it it went completely by the numbers): 

 

Spoiler

 

The game's first terror mission. Also at night. Also the first appearance of Androns. Pretty much like this. While still wielding ballistics and at best, Jackal Armor. 

 

Everyone back in the Chinook. Paraguay can fend for itself.

[TheBlackBaron]

Spoiler

Boy, I'm lucky I've got several chapters worth of screenshots saved up. Because PoE. Also, I promise this will be the only chapter to be heavy on Recon and Luna jokes.

 

CHAPTER SEVEN: SOUTH OF THE BORDER

 

 

With their monthly funding grant still providing them with ample cash, and with alien activity beginning to step up, the Xenonauts began their major expansion - the construction of a new base in the eastern hemisphere. Numerous sites were considered, including a remote desert base offered by Egypt and one at the northern tip of the island of Luzon in the Philippines, but ultimately it was decided that their first priority had to be protect the nations of NATO and the USSR and its WarPac satellites, the largest sources of funding for the Xenonauts project outside of North America. Yugoslavia offered a position relatively central to the continent and would also enabled radar coverage of American and Soviet allies in North Africa and the Middle East, while still having the range to monitor up to the Arctic Ocean north of Iceland and Scandinavia and Kola.

 

With the decision made, ground is broken and the access shafts drilled at the site just outside of Sarajevo, code named TEMPLE OF NOD.

 

Spoiler

 

 

Meanwhile, the Xenonauts scientists have completed their next report, analyzing the mysterious alloys used by the aliens in almost all of their construction.

 

 

Unfortunately, they don't shed much light on them. While their fundamental composition is quite familiar, being a form of ceramic, their actual capabilities are far in excess of anything terrestrial materials science is capable of - indeed, exactly how they acquire their capabilities is completely unknown. It is also currently quite impossible to actually shape these alloys, much less manufacture them ourselves. Nonetheless, the information is valuable, and should open unknown doors and unfathomable new heights to our engineers if we persist.

 

 

Our first contact of the month, UFO-7, appears off the northwest coast of Colombia, continuing the trends we have previously identified. However, the radar returns indicate that this is a different sort of alien craft than the light scouts we have previously encountered, certainly it is somewhat bigger.

 

With only one way to know for sure, 'FAST JIMMY' and 'MOUSESTALKER' are dispatched to intercept the alien craft as it continues to head northwest along the Pacific coast (no doubt attempting to sneak a couple tons of cocaine over the border).

 

 

 

Visual contact is made off the coast of Mexico, and as the craft makes a sharp turn to head towards the mainland confirmation of the radar readings is made. This is indeed a new type of alien craft, a crescent shaped craft connected by a bridge to a strange "eye" in the center.

 

 

 

 

 

: Do we get to shout "bulls-eye" if we hit them right there?
 
: Bet you a plate of cheddar I can hit both missiles dead in the middle of it.
 
: ... Do you mean money or actual cheese?
 
: Blessed are the cheesemakers.

 

 

Eager to plumb its secrets, Strike-One departs for the happiest place on Earth ... Tijuana. And also swings by the downed alien craft to see what they can recover.

 

* * *

OPERATION DRIVING STALLION
5 OCTOBER 1979, 1731 HOURS GMT
CULIACÁN, SINALOA, MEXICO

 

: Out in the west Texas town of El Paso, I fell in love with a four-legged girl ...

: What the hell are you singing, Recon?

: ... Nighttime would find me in Luna's stable, music would play and Luna would ride ...

: Oh lord, let's get out of here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

: Blacker than night was the cutie of Luna, dark blue and waving her mane cast a spell ... one night a wild young stallion came in, wild as the west Texas wiiiiiiiiiiiiind ...

 

 

 

 

: Okay, this is starting to get creepy even by my standards.
 
: He's not even singing the right song. Who let Recon into the booze stash right before the mission?

: Don't look at me, I keep my secret stuff behind a ceiling tile in the hang-****.

: What's creepier is we haven't seen a single alien thus far.

 

 

 

 

: Negative on that, I can see one hiding over here!
 

 

 

 

: Incoming fire!
 
: So in anger I challenged his right for the love of this equine, down went his hand for the plasma he wore ...
 
: YOU'RE NOT EVEN HERE.
 

 

 

If this police man had been singing the song, however, it might have been more appropriate, as in a stunning display of competence and perhaps seeking to avenge his partner lying in a pool of blood nearby, he dispatches the Caesan guard with his revolver.

 

 

 

Dominus, meanwhile, sets eyes on their prize and takes up position watching the door, as the rest of the squad moves into position. 

 

 

Crusty and Johnnie, sweeping to the south and west, catch another Caesan guard horribly out of position as it tried to get into position to ambush the rest of the squad, and quickly dispatch it in a hail of fire.

 

 

: Out through the back door of Luna's I ran, out where the bridles were keeeeeept ... I grabbed a good one, it looked like good fun, and up on Luna's plot I did climb ... 
 
 

 

 

: Oh Jesus, I can't take this anymore, get me out of here!
 

 

 

Dashing forward to escape Recon's singing, Observer instead stumbles into the sight of another Caesan guard, crouched behind a concrete barrier. At this point it's clear, albeit only confirming the obvious, that the new and larger alien craft holds a larger and more dangerous crew than the Light Scouts previously encountered. 

 

 

 

Dominus lays down a withering barrage of fire, and Observer tosses a grenade to finish the job.

 

 

 

Crusty Knight, meanwhile, catches sight of yet another guard lurking around the corner.

 

[TheBlackBaron]

CHAPTER SEVEN, PART II

 

 

 

Another Caesan guard suddenly bursts out of the doors of the alien vessel ...

 

:   
 

Spoiler

 

 

And is almost immediately cut down by reaction fire. 

 

: My challenge was answered in less than a heartbeat, the handsome young stallion lay dead on the floor ...

 

 

 
 
: You can't just skip around in the song like that, Recon!

 

 

Away from the trauma of Recon's song, Crusty and co. dispatch the remaining guard with ease. 

 

 

 

: It's been so long since I've seen the young equine, I saddle up and ride her alone in the daaaaaark ...

 

 

 

 

 

: And nothing's worse than the pain this song gives me! 
 

Dominus, overwhelmed by the awful implications of Recon's song, can only crouch behind the concrete wall, attempting in vain to rid his head of the images. 

 

 

 

Some moments later, sufficiently recovered, Strike-One breaches the alien craft in a hail of smoke, flashbangs, and fire ...

 

 

 

 

And plants their flag on their brand new alien ship.

 

 

 

* * *

 

ON THE NEXT LET'S PLAY XENONAUTS:

 

 

The Xenonauts take a detour on their way back to the Lobby ...
 
: Bartender, give us the strongest tequila you have. And keep it coming. 
 
: Before one of us snaps from the horrors we've heard. 
 
: Hey, I know this show with a girl and a horse we can take in ...

 

 

: 

 

JESUS CHRIST, NO!!

 

 

And with no rest for the wicked, the Xenonauts take a trip north of the other border, to a dreadful land of poutine ...
 

 

 

Spoiler

Poor Observer, he just couldn't catch a break with the Caesan's psionic attacks.   Although Dominus, obviously, was the worst affected when he got hit with it.

[LPPrince]

I was spared the drunken singing? Phew.

[TheBlackBaron]

As you can see, it unnerved quite a few members of the squad. 

[LPPrince]

As you can see, it unnerved quite a few members of the squad. 

 

Aye. Meanwhile I was back at base listening to Spotify.

[Fast Jimmy]

HA! If there was ever a proper use of the lyrics of "El Paso" in a LP, this has to be it.

[LPPrince]

I gotta be honest guys, all the LP's y'all are playing has thrown me off because of my handle here hahaha

 

The LP in my handle doesn't even stand for anything, but now its biting me in the bum 

[Fast Jimmy]

I gotta be honest guys, all the LP's y'all are playing has thrown me off because of my handle here hahaha

 

The LP in my handle doesn't even stand for anything, but now its biting me in the bum 

 

Geez, Prince... stop bothering me about starting back up the Song Parody thread! It's not going to happen!

 

 

 

Some people...

[LPPrince]

Geez, Prince... stop bothering me about starting back up the Song Parody thread! It's not going to happen!

 

 

 

Some people...

 

I ate a Triple Quarter Pounder and Chicken Sandwich from Wendy's today(1440 calories, 82 grams of protein). Not Burger King.

 

Your time will come.

[Fast Jimmy]

I ate a Triple Quarter Pounder and Chicken Sandwich from Wendy's today(1440 calories, 82 grams of protein). Not Burger King.

 

Your time will come.

 

Only one who is worthy will see the Jimmy in its natural speed element.

[LPPrince]

Only one who is worthy will see the Jimmy in its natural speed element.

 

Patience. It will be.

[Fast Jimmy]

Patience. It will be.

 

No, I will not revive the Song Parody thread, Prince! You keep bringing it up and we won't be friends anymore.

[LPPrince]

No, I will not revive the Song Parody thread, Prince! You keep bringing it up and we won't be friends anymore.

 

Only you can prevent forests, Jimmy.

[Fast Jimmy]

Only you can prevent forests, Jimmy.

 

But how can I see the trees through all this booze?

[LPPrince]

But how can I see the trees through all this booze?

 

Google Glass.

[Arcadian Legend]

Holy **** Baron, I'm hooked.  Other than being obviously entertaining to read I'm also loving the amount of detail you're putting into this.

[Gravisanimi]

Yeah these threads make me a little regretful that I change my avatar so often (literally every week, I've got a schedule, next one is a girl named Ryouna)

[A Crusty Knight Of Colour]

Holy **** Baron, I'm hooked.  Other than being obviously entertaining to read I'm also loving the amount of detail you're putting into this.

I like the fact that you posted for the first time in months just to say this. Baron is doing the Lord's work.

[Arcadian Legend]

I like the fact that you posted for the first time in months just to say this. Baron is doing the Lord's work.

 

To be honest I've been posting again since yesterday but yeah, the last thing you said.

[Inquisitor Recon]

Or a sign of the end times perhaps.

[A Crusty Knight Of Colour]

Or a sign of the end times perhaps.

That's probably if Galv comes back.

[Arcadian Legend]

I can always drag Galv back if you guys want. I certainly have the means to do so.

[A Crusty Knight Of Colour]

Recon's clop folder would certainly thank you.