87 réponses à ce sujet

[LPPrince]

Recon's clap folder would certainly thank you.

 

Fixed.

 

Nice and slooooooow

[Gravisanimi]

I'm sorry Prince, but this is the real fix.

 

Recon's clop folders would certainly thank you.

[LPPrince]

Must love...

 

Will tolerate...

[TheBlackBaron]

Geez, Prince... stop bothering me about starting back up the Song Parody thread! It's not going to happen!

 

 

 

Some people...

 

mfw this thread discusses resurrecting the Song Parody thread:

 

 

 

The next two chapters will be relatively small, although we'll get our first new blood into the squad. After that, it's a big two-parter in northern France which, well, to give a teaser: 

 

[Inquisitor Recon]

I'm sorry Prince, but this is the real fix.

Neither the original nor the fix are accurate. People projecting their sick fetishes on me.

[LPPrince]

Neither the original nor the fix are accurate. People projecting their sick fetishes on me.

 

Sik faks implying sik fets?

[TheBlackBaron]

Spoiler

Double update incoming! I've also decided I'm going to start updating avatars when needed (except for Gravi because I'm not doing that much work), so I'll note in italics the first time somebody speaks and their avatar has been changed.

 

CHAPTER EIGHT: THE POUTINE GAMES

 

The Xenonauts returned from their trip to Mexico with sticky mouths and pounding heads, a legacy of a night spent hammering back tequila and margaritas at a feverish pace and doing their best to keep Recon quiet and away from any sideshows of ill repute around. They had taken an important step forward by downing and capturing a larger alien vessel, but at what cost to their mental fortitude? They could only be so brave when confronted with a mangled and frankly quite furry version of the classic western ballad "El Paso". 

 

Johnnie Walker

: I mean, holy liberal bestiality laws, Batman! I know this is Mexico but are you sure that's legal? 

 

And while they would have dearly loved a few days of quiet alien activity or at least a shoot down over open water, there could be no rest for the wicked. 

 

 

Spoiler

UFO-8 is tagged and tracked as it enters the atmosphere over Newfoundland, perhaps intent on continuing the alien's outreach to the polar bears. 

 

 

On the other hand, maybe it's a pack of Sebellians trying to resume their seal clubbing trip or whatever they were doing in the Canadian Arctic last time around. At least their interest in cocaine in the south is understandable - precisely what the aliens are intent on doing in the frozen surf of the Canadian Internal Waters remains a mystery. 

 

 

After some time, however, they instead turn south and begin heading over Quebec, where they are finally intercepted by 'FAST JIMMY' and 'MOUSESTALKER' as they pass over the northern coast. 

 

: Should we even bother we this one? The Canadians would probably up their funding if we let it go. 

 

: But Jimmy! Cheese curds! Poutine! Blessed are the cheesemakers!

 

: Your fetishes are getting really specific lately. 

 

With that argument decided, they move in for the kill ...

 

 

 

And send the alien vessel ploughing into the frozen tundra.

 

 

Still recovering from their last mission, but with no choice to press on, 'BIG SKY' takes off and Strike-One heads into the arena for another round ... 

 

* * *

OPERATION LAZY DRUID

6 OCTOBER 1979, 1211 HOURS GMT

NORTHERN QUEBEC, CANADA

 

 

 

Landing in what appears to be a small industrial community, probably some kind of old whaling or fishing support village, Strike-One quickly fans out, encountering little in the way of aliens but plenty in the way of Qubecois civilians. 

 

 

 

Dominus

: You two! You must have seen it falling, where'd the ship crash? 

 

 : SI'L VOUS PLAIT! HON HON HON MADAME MONSIEUR SACRE BLEU BONJOUR T*TTY CROISSANT!

 

: He says it's just beyond these boxcars.

 

: Whoah, sh*t, he's right. It's here. 

 

 

 

While most of the squad moves in on the downed UFO, Gravi and OneWomanArmy sweep eastward, looking for any stragglers hanging around outside the UFO.

 

 

 

 

 

Evidently, however, they hadn't wandered too far, as a Sebellian wanders around the corner of the ubiquitous concrete walls and unleashes an inaccurate burst, which fortunately comes nowhere near anybody, and another quickly moves in from the other side.

 

 

 

 

Johnnie is first to act, lighting 'em up with a barrage of 7.62mm before Dominus gets in a burst of his own, as one Sebellian is down for the count while the other is forced to drop to the ground in a pool of his own blood. 

 

 

 

 

Crusty rounds the corner of a carriage hauling coal and discovers another Sebellian, unaware of his presence as it prepares to burst around the other corner, and gives it a face full of wing-wong. 

 

 

And Johnnie finishes off the remaining guard with another burst of machine gun fire.

 

 

 

As the team prepares to breach, a Sebellian suddenly opens the bay doors and, clearly a good deal braver than his Caesan counterparts, opts to instead loose a barrage of fire. 

 

 

 

ObserverStatus

: He's got me pinned!

 

: Damnit, we're not going down like Cassandra did! RaaaaAAAAAAAAAAGH PLATYPUS KARATE CHOP GOOOOOOO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

: SLEEPING KOALA KICK, GOOOOOOOO!

 

 

 

 

: Not to raise too many questions while we're storming the castle, but aren't you from New Zealand? 

 

: N-no? 

 

 

 

 

: No ... it's not true ... that's impossible! 

 

; 

 

 

 

 

While Crusty confronts this horrifying realization, he still manages to almost in a daze breach the rear room of the UFO and finish off the final Sebellian. Victory is at hand.

 

 

 

To be continued ...

[Fast Jimmy]

So many great lines! Geez, a great edition here.

 

 : SI'L VOUS PLAIT! HON HON HON MADAME MONSIEUR SACRE BLEU BONJOUR ****** CROISSANT!

 

: He says it's just beyond these boxcars.

 

Silly Canadians...

 

Crusty rounds the corner of a carriage hauling coal and discovers another Sebellian, unaware of his presence and it prepares to burst around the other corner, and gives it a face full of wing-wong.

Do I want to know?
 

 

This is a high-quality LP here, both in terms of comedy and in detail to the actual game at hand. 

 

<tipshat>

 

[TheBlackBaron]

Spoiler

And now for part two of the doubleheader. This chapter doesn't really fit in well as a "Part Two" of the previous one, which is why they're separated, but neither is really one to stand alone. This one especially, as it's mostly a matter of introductions and upkeep. 
 

Do I want to know?

 
No. *deep sniff* Implications unpleasant.

 
 

CHAPTER NINE: ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAR FACES

 

 

 

With Strike-One having survived their trial against the aliens in the Poutine Games, they head home, considerably more sober than they were the last time, even as Crusty still struggles to deal with shocking revelations.

 

 

: Can it really be true? Am I not a proud Emu ... but just a little old Kiwi bird? 
 
: Buddy, I'm from Hungary. It's all a little weird right now. 
 
: Oh LUNA, I just realized that that dungeon I woke up in was in the Soviet Union.
 
: And then Recon was a communist. 
 
: YOU WON'T TAKE MY PRECIOUS BODILY FLUIDS, COMMUNIST SUN HORSE. 
 

Spoiler

While the various Xenonauts wrestle with the issue of their confusing and uncertain pasts, the clearer minds of the Xenonauts scientists have finished their analysis of the craft downed in the prior two missions. 

 

 

Designated simply as the Scout, as can be confirmed by our pilots it represents an all-around bigger, faster, and more dangerous counterpart to the Light Scouts previously encountered, with a more powerful plasma weapon to boot. Despite this improved weaponry and armor plating, however, our interceptors, especially working in pairs, remain more than a match for it. The craft's larger size means it cannot perform the same sort of combat rolls as the Light Scout, so our MiG-32 "Foxbats" can reliably engage them from beyond their effective range. Even the Condors can use their superior mobility to attack from the rear and sides and punish them with their Sidewinders and cannon, turning the tables somewhat on them. 

 

While the exposed engine compartment in the rear circular section makes for a very odd design choice, the craft does possess an astounding array of sensors all along its exterior shell, presenting a formidable ISR capability. We should take care to shoot them down as quickly as possible, and so keep the aliens in the dark as to our own movements. 

 

 

On October 10th, the Xenonauts finally get some reinforcements, as the first new batch of recruits since the beginning of the Alien War arrives.

 

 

DobbySaurus, hailing from Sweden, joins Dominus and Johnnie Walker in the manning the big guns, her high strength and health enabling her to tote the machine gun and plenty of extras around the battlefield. 

 

 

Another Soviet comrade, TheBunz is the one who lifts ... a riot shield, anyway, which all that lifting has no doubt helped him to carry around, as like Dobby he has a high strength and a robust physique. With his quick reflexes, he is also quick with photos, a grenade, or any other sort of bomb that needs to be thrown.

 

 

Also hailing from the Soviet airborne, Jock Cranley is a deadly sniper, although he has not seen significant combat anywhere around the world, having been earmarked for Afghanistan before the outbreak of the Alien War. Jock's fast movement, good aim, and quick reflexes enable him to move around the battlefield and control the terrain as necessary with precision fire. 

 

 

Love him or hate him, simfanUP is a former member of the Italian stay-behind special forces, where he has been known to let nothing get in the way of fighting the communist hordes - even getting his own men killed. Fortunately, we hope to turn this towards better ends by directing it against the aliens. Sim serves in a jack-of-all-trades roll, with his high strength enabling him to carry plenty of explosives in addition to a rifle. 

 

 

Rounding out the new recruits are the riflemen, with E-Ro-

 

: E-Ro!!!!!!!! Yay! Come to mama! 
 

...

 

Er, yes, well, anyway. 

 

 

Figuring military service would be of use in a political campaign, Su Lu Pi has picked up a rifle, where her robust health and bravery will serve her well in a close quarters assault role.

 

 

Finally we have Lotion Soronnar, who comes from an extremely secretive special operations branch of the Netherlands Marines, known only as the "Salamanders". Not much is known about his service, but with no real weaknesses he has clearly been tested by fire, and is ready to do battle against the xeno menace.

 

 

As the new arrivals settle in, the central hub of the TEMPLE OF NOD base is finally completed, although the base is still only a shell. Immediately, construction begins on the necessary facilities to bring it up to standards, including hangers, living space, garages, stores, and medical facilities, and most importantly, a new radar facility. 

 

 

Meanwhile, the Lobby has completed its own expansion of its final expansion of its own radar capabilities. The Xenonauts eyes now extend far to the north, nearly to the pole, and deep into South America near the edge of the Amazon rainforest. Whatever the aliens are trying to do with the polar bears, seals, or cocaine, we will be able to see them now. X-Ray can't take a dump without us knowing how big it is, as long as its in this area. 

 

 

A few days later, with the completion of the hanger facilities, 'FAST JIMMY' and 'MOUSESTALKER' prepare to depart for TEMPLE OF NOD, to begin interception actions as soon as possible. 

 

: Hey, Mouse, I hear Rome is nice this time of year. It's on the way, and I know a good gelato and cheese place. 
 
: Ah, you're such a romantic, Jimmy. 
 

 

Meanwhile, the scientists have completed their latest project. Continuing on from their studies of the alien's biology, they have now devised weapons that will be capable of capturing them ... although "devised" is perhaps generous, considering mankind has been using clubs since before the they discovered fire. Nevertheless, the shock batons, based on a modified cattle prod, should be more than capable of overloading the aliens nervous systems. The alternative method, using smoke and gas to shut down their respiration, is safer and more elegant, although it lacks the oomph and certainty of the shock batons. Both should be deployed soon as possible in the field, with the goal of capturing a live alien. 

 

 

In the meantime, the Xenonauts scientists have turned their attention towards the mysterious yellow rocks that powers the alien UFOs, Alenium. It is hoped that if we understand this material, it will unlock the secrets necessary to for us to begin deciphering how the rest of the alien's technology, especially their alloys, work. 

 

 

The transfer to Europe perhaps came too soon, as UFOs, designated 9 and 10, appear off of both coasts of North America. 'SEBOIST' and 'KAISER SHEPARD' pursue the target over the Pacific, while 'FAST JIMMY' and 'MOUSESTALKER' burn west over the Atlantic.

 

 

 

 

Unfortunately, it does not go particularly well. UFO-9 disappears off the radar screens as it outpaces Seboist and Kaiser Shep, while Jimmy and Mouse can do little more than confirm its position over Quebec (extremely close to the site of the last shoot-down) before being forced to return home.

 

 

 

UFO-9, being a f*cking tease, briefly reappears off the coast of South America before escaping into space. Probably picked up some hookers in the Pacific before escaping with the blow. Bastard. 

 

 

All is not gloom, however, as the Xenonauts scientists finish their thorough deconstruction of the first of their captured alien weapons, the humble plasma pistol. Although still far behind our capabilities for manufacturing or even using in a way that would not be dangerous to our soldiers in the field, it has nonetheless given us some useful insights that should help the Alenium and Alloy projects. 

 

 

It has also provided enough information on the alien weapons capabilities to allow for work to begin on a new combat armor. While such a system would be simply be a stop-gap until we can develop a brand new and fully realized combat suit to powerfully increase our soldiers's survivability, it would at least be better than the (admittedly fetchingly blue) coveralls and and shirts they're wearing now.

 

 

Anticipating these new engineering projects on the horizon, THE LOBBY also takes on some new hands in its workshops. 

 

 

 

TEMPLE OF NOD completes its first radar facility and has now come fully online, and across the sea, to replace 'FAST JIMMY' and 'MOUSESTALKER' in the cockpits of Foxtrots, call signs 'KING TONY' and 'REDARMYSHOGUN' report for duty. 

 

 

Quickly the scientists complete the first prototype of the stop-gap armor, dubbed the Jackal Combat Armor. Essentially a fairly standard suite of body armor as is commonly used in militaries around the world, it has been modified with heat-resistant ceramic plates that should serve to disperse some of the damage caused by the alien's plasma weapons. We can now expect our soldiers so armored to at least reliably survive one shot to the torso, although any more than that will be down to luck, as always. The order is immediately given for the procurement of several suits. 

 

 

 

TEMPLE OF NOD is already paying dividends, as on the 26th of October it picks up two more Scout UFO's flying around Eurasia, designated UFO-11 and -12. Wanting to ensure that at least one goes down, which even alone would present a significantly better outcome over the previous situation in Europe, 'FAST JIMMY' and 'MOUSESTALKER' take off for the deserts of Central Asia. 

 

 

 

 

With Strike-One half a world away, the Red Air Force is called in to wipe the site from existence. 

 

 

Re-armed and re-fueled, and with UFO-12 still floating around, Jimmy and Mouse take off once more, tracking their target as it zips across the North Sea and the English Channel. 

 

 

 

 

Overall, the European excursion has gone quite well, and we are already receiving favorable reports from the curious alliance of NATO and the WarPac. However, the money and materials that could be extracted from alien crashes on two continents instead of just one represents a formidable boon, and so TEMPLE OF NOD begins excavating further hanger space ...

 

 

To be continued ...

 

* * *

 

ON THE NEXT LET'S PLAY XENONAUTS: 

 

 

Strike-One has some trouble sleeping at night ...

 

: Er, maybe we -shouldn't- brought E-Ro on. 

 

 

And a terrifying new enemy makes their presence known ...

 

 

 

 

[Lotion Soronarr]

FOR THE EMPEROR, AND HIS PEOPLE!

[A Crusty Knight Of Colour]

[TheBlackBaron]

do u guys know what sucks

 

everything

 

However, my goal is to get Part 1 of Chapter 10 posted when I get off work tomorrow night. 

[KingTony]

Woah, somehow I missed the last chapter completely. Cool though, I'm in! Things are looking up, T!