54 réponses à ce sujet

[Monoservo]

one of varric novel got possessed by spirits and our inquisitor is somehow being sucked in to the most juicy soap opera of medieval dramatic sexual adventure and it like something is hunting us , but what? friends? or a foe an ENEMY ,who can really tell , will it feel like hitting a nail in to a log with your forehead which if you a male in both cases will most likely hurt and be painful, female players might just find them self stuck like a Big Iron Nail a plank or well like a deadly TRAP, ? who could really tell, well that's rumored the D.L.C is rated Adult

[Drasanil]

The hell did I just read 

[BigEvil]

The DLC is rated Adult but the spelling and grammar is rated pre-school.

 

Four greased Nugs out of five, would read again.

[KaiserShep]

[New Kid]

Y            Y
          R          R
       L          L

[Monoservo]

all that hostility 

[thats1evildude]

OK, here's what I think the OP is saying:

"What if there was a DLC where a demon made one of Varric's novels "real" and the Inquisitor got sucked into it? And what if there was some hidden force chasing us through this novel and we weren't sure if it was an enemy of a friend?"

Then there's a bit about adult content that I can't really figure out. Something about a big iron nail and how there should be different outcomes for men and women.

[FadelessRipley]

This sounds like a bizarre fanfic I read once where you get trapped in the Fade with a desire demon who's like a wannabe Christian Grey...

Even it didn't go for planks of wood with nails though. Ouch!

[Farangbaa]

all that hostility 

Well, what do you expect?

After painstakingly deciphering that mess you probably typed with your face, they read something that melts their brains.

I'd be angry too, but I had some beers so I'll give you a pass.

[Drago_28]

He's probably possessed.Where are the templars when you need them?

[taylortexas]

and then varric was a zombie

[Loghain Mac-Tir]

Varric doesn't write crappy erotic novels, so no sexual adventure for you. Read some of them weird fan fics, if you want to satiate your inner beast and enjoy Dragon Age simultaneously .

[Hanako Ikezawa]

Varric doesn't write crappy erotic novels, so no sexual adventure for you. Read some of them weird fan fics, if you want to satiate your inner beast and enjoy Dragon Age simultaneously .

Yes he does. Swords and Shields is smutty literature that sold horribly.

[FadelessRipley]

Varric doesn't write crappy erotic novels...

Erm...

I jest, he writes GOOD smut. Cassandra wouldn't read anything that Cray Cray, sorry OP.

[Loghain Mac-Tir]

Erm...

I jest, he writes GOOD smut. Cassandra wouldn't read anything that Cray Cray, sorry OP.

 

Actually, if you pick one of the dialogue option when talking to Varric during 'Guilty Pleasures', he says ; that 'Swords and Shields' is actually a romantic novel and none of the crap that OP wants 

[Monoservo]

Varric doesn't write crappy erotic novels, so no sexual adventure for you. Read some of them weird fan fics, if you want to satiate your inner beast and enjoy Dragon Age simultaneously .

well you newer know what a spirit could come up wit of twist and shout and heroin's scissoring ...and stone and paper  

[KonguZya]

and then varric was a zombie

No, Warden. You ARE the Archdemon!

[ManchesterUnitedFan1]

all that hostility 

 

I know monoservo, they just don't understand you

[Warden Commander Aeducan]

[snackrat]

Yes he does. Swords and Shields is smutty literature that sold horribly.

 

Nooo.. he doesn't.

He himself says "Smut? Is THAT what she called it? Oh no, it's fluff at best. I can't compete in the smut market. That's cutthroat."

[Grieving Natashina]

one of varrick novel got possessed by spirits and our inquisitor is somehow being sucked in to the most juicy sopeopera of midevial dramatic sexual adventure and it like something is hunting us , but what ? friends ? a foe an ENEMY ,who can really tell , will it feel like hitting a nail in to a log with your forehead which if you a male in both chases will most likely hurt and be painfull females player might just find them self stuck like a Big Iron Nail a plank or well like a deadly TRAP, ? who could really tell, well that's rumored the D.L.C is rated Adult

I'll try to translate.

 

One of Varric's novels is possessed by spirits somehow.  As in a physical copy of one of his stories.  Our Inquisitor is drawn in, to a "most juicy soap opera" of "dramatic sexual adventures."  With a medieval style.  Because it's one of Varric's books, where you can't tell friend from foe, you'll have to watch your back while someone/something is hunting the characters.

 

Never mind the fact that he doesn't like writing romances at all, only did that other book as a favor to the Inquisitor and Cass.  

 

From here it's...weird.  With female character....The way he says Big Iron Nail implies sex.  I don't know what to make of the rest.

 

Wow, really?  You get a 0/10 for trolling, but a 9/10 for utterly bizarre.  You're aren't the most odd on the forums, but I'm impressed.

 

You're headcanon is weird, one of the weirder things I've read in the last week.  Use a good program like Word to help with grammar and spelling, so you can write your own fanfiction.  

[Fiery Phoenix]

To think this was a genuine topic...

[Avejajed]

It's really fun to read the first post out loud.

It night be he had a few too many green beers. I don't think I've had nearly enough.

[ManchesterUnitedFan1]

It's really fun to read the first post out loud.

It night be he had a few too many green beers. I don't think I've had nearly enough.

 

What on god's earth is a green beer?

[Farangbaa]

It's really fun to read the first post out loud.

I suppose it's just as much fun as this: