I did think it was weird that the Qun was suddenly all warm and fuzzy and accepting of diversity. Is this the same culture where someone kills you for losing your sword, mages have their eyes and mouths sewn shut, women aren't warriors, people can't choose their job or who they have children with, they can't keep their children, people are regularly brainwashed, you are not allowed to question, etc...I think it would have made for a much better story if it was just Iron Bull himself that was kind and accepting, then it would have been another point of internal conflict for him. As it was, all the harshness we'd seen and heard about previously was glossed over or not mentioned and from what we heard from Iron Bull the Qun seemed very laid back. Priests have sex with you whenever you're feeling frisky (but woe betide you if you choose a random person to have sex with for love?) people can now decide they want to live as a different gender and women who are good at fighting are just renamed to men even if they change nothing about their voice, behavior, or appearance (um what?). The Qun was interesting because it was alien, horrible, and oppressive you see elves converting to the Qun and think "their lives must have been truly horrible to make that decision."
I think the conflict was there, but was presented in a more nuanced way than what you''re talking about.
You have to keep in mind that despite how his personality clashes with it, Bull wants to stay with the Qun because he believes that the alternative for him is madness and becoming Tal-Vashoth. This is someone who voluntarily turned himself into the re-educators to be "fixed."
So when he talks about the Qun with other people, of course he's going to do everything he can to make it seem like a good thing. This means glossing over the harsher and more restrictive aspects of the life while emphasizing the weird Qun practices that can be seen as more open or inclusive. It's classic cognitive dissonance.




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