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[Marika Haliwell]

Before publishing my first attempt at writing , I want to let everyone know a thing that I am not proud off:

 

I am not a born English speaker and I have learned the language from movies and gaming or voice chat in MMOs. That's why my grammar will lack sometimes, or some phrase construction will seem weird ( even the auto correct in Word gave up ) . I try to learn grammar right now lol please be patient . Also that's why I can't publish it on fanfiction.net.

 

 

This fan fiction is not straight canon i suppose. I know about DAI a lot but haven't played the game yet . Anyways I will try to not mess up going to much around. 

 

Then, the story might be a bit dark and weird in the start but later it will change i promise

 

 

[Marika Haliwell]

CHAPTER 1 .

 

 

A being breathing thoughtful breath,

A traveler  between life and death;

The reason firm, the temperate will,

Endurance, foresight, strength and skill;

A perfect woman, nobly planned,

To warn, to comfort, and command.

                                            -William Wordsworth,

           “She was a Phantom of delight”

“ Warden can you settle this? Who shall be our new King?”

Azzura Amell looked around the great hall where the Landsmeet was taking place and thought for the first time at her fate and what was bestowed upon her. The great windows filtering the sun were bathing the crowd in their colors and a warm breeze entered from the doors left open . It was hard to understand even now how a mage who had just passed her Harrowing could be changed into a politician and army commander just because she succeeded to forge an alliance between different nations and races.

She was no hero! And still people started to look upon  her like she was one. A silver bowl caught her reflection, showing her a face that it wasn’t hers. The blue eyes once so full of wonder at all the marvelous things she was learning as a mage were now veiled with uncertainty. The black hair she loved to keep combed behind her ears now flowed in a wild cascade over her shoulders. At twenty one years old she grew older than she could think possible. It wasn’t her body getting older, it was her soul . She saw so much death and massacre, than most of the acolytes of her age.  Azzura had to strengthen her will because she couldn’t let people see her as weak leader. That could have condemned her to perish even before getting foot into the world.

And yet, Azzura thought that it was a welcoming change until today, when people were asking HER to name a king for the throne! It was useless to repeat that she could not be a kingmaker and she never was in the middle of court conspiracies.

   She knew that once she will let the fate making its course there was no turning back. She looked over at Alistair hopping that he will give her the strength necessary to say those words but the man looked sad and didn’t wanted to meet her eyes.

It was difficult  for him to understand  that she wanted only what was the best for him and for the tormented nation now facing one of the greatest threats in all Thedas . Not even the Tevinter Imperium inspired so much dread like the new Blight looming at their front doors and she will have to drop all the responsibility on his shoulders . He wanted to hate her for that but he couldn’t , he never could have hated her not in this life or another . .

“ Alistair  will be the new King …. And maybe I will help him rule this country – said Azzura with a joking laugh . Of course she knew that won’t be possible but she wanted to test how much the Lords in that room could take in. After all the headaches they gave her,  a little naughty revenge like that was a worthy compensation.

The words came out even before he could think of  what he was saying:

“ You? They barely would accept me as their King ! You are not even a noble!”

A deep silence felt in the enormous hall  and all the eyes were on the Grey Warden who dared to think of taking the throne . Even those who knew about her relationship with Alistair Theirin being something more than a deep friendship looked appalled at what they just witnessed . They knew how much Azzura loved him and they still couldn’t believe their ears hearing him saying that she wasn’t fit to rule.

Azzura felt a deep void opening into her hearth and she tried to cover the deep red flushing of her cheeks with a light speech empty of any emotion:

“ Of course not . I was just joking. You will be a good king on your own. And you have Arl Eamon to help you .”

Saying that she made a nod to Leliana and Morrigan to follow her and left without looking back. There was nothing left for her to do . Alistair - or the new King as it was now – gave her the command to his army and she had to set things in order before the march to Redcliffe.

She wanted to cry but everyone be damned if she would do it in front of them. She already could imagine the whispers between the nobles at her insolence.

“ I will beat..” Morrigan clasped Leliana’s hand stopping the burst of voiced anger on the young girl’s lips.

“’Tis is not the time. Let her keep her calm. You can do that later “

Leliana the faithful bard with red hair and fierce eyes didn’t oppose resistance at Morrigan’s advice. The Witch of the Wilds with her dark hair and cold eyes which she had met in Lothering it  changed over the time passed with them. Leliana was once a spy and she could tell that she could not trust Morrigan at all, but now? Something must have happened between her and Azzura for the witch to protect her leader like she was doing now.

Alistair wanted to scream and destroy everything he could find in his way . What in the Maker’s name just happened to him? Why he had to say those words? She will never forgive him and he knew that he didn’t deserved it. Yes, she was a Grey Warden and an important one but she also was a woman, the woman who loved him . She was the one who supported him since Ostagar , she was the one who leaned over him in the middle of the night soothing his nightmares and giving him hope in the future. She was the one who shared with him his first night of love. And what he did to her? He just shamed her in everybody’s eyes stating that she was less than him because of the bloodline.

[Marika Haliwell]

He wanted only a dark corner where to hide, think and cry.

Trying to make himself unseen to the gathering of nobles, Alistair walked on the deserted halls and finding a small door he opened it and climbed the stairs slowly one by one. The air was cool coming from upside, that means it was the exit on the rooftop.

Taking a deep breath he let the tears flow.  The wind dried them but more will come. Leaning over the balcony he watched the town’s roofs. A breeze brought a scent of perfume and he turned to look in that direction.  He heard footsteps and he saw a shadow obscuring the little door’s entrance.  The shadow moved closer and he could see that it was the last person he wanted to have in front of him in that moment.

“ I thought I gave the orders to put you in the tower , didn’t I?”

“ Given the case , it is this the tower where they took me. “ replied Anora with a small smile .

She was trying to look friendly but her cold glaze and the twist of her lips gave away the real feelings.

“ I should go back to the Hall “- said Alistair retreating by the door  “ And then maybe go and ask for forgiveness if I deserve it.“ – the last words were said almost like a whisper .

“ Oh, she would forgive you , don’t doubt of that . But… do you think she will be your queen? That she will fit the rank? “

He covered the two steps to reach her and grabbing Anora’s hand in a hold of steel said:

“ What do you know about her? She is better than you a thousand times! She doesn’t have your wickedness and hunger for power. She is better than you!”

Anora raised an eyebrow smiling again.

“ Really? It seems that even you had your doubts in the Landsmeet. Being put in your place by the man you love, that’s something she didn’t expected , am I mistaken ? And what about you? You will need an heir to the throne  and you are both grey wardens. Could she give you a child? You might want to do how you like it but now you have a duty to your country also. You were made king with her approval now it’s time for you to grow up and do your duty as a King.“

Alistair let Anora’s hand pushing her into the wall .

“The truth hurts doesn’t it ? And you owe that to her . Remember, you are not free anymore, you will have to listen to your Lords and they know how to make you listen, trust me.”

The king ran down the stairs trying to think of nothing. Anora’s words were like fire shards in his mind.

Looking after the defeated man, Anora let her breath steady  itself :

“ I will make you suffer Warden like you did with me and my father. Maker help me to do so . The revenge won’t come from my hand but you will see how does it feel to have all your hopes crumbling to your feet in a second .”

 

The night was warm but he couldn’t stop shivering and the tears won’t let him see the way he was going. Anora with her lousy conversation made him sick. But she was right when she said those words. He was a king and he had to act like one if he wanted his men’s respect. The future was uncertain and even if they survived the Blight and the fight with the Archdemon, he wasn’t sure how he will keep his love from slipping away . The chasm opened between them was too large and it will hunt them forever. The decision he had to make was painful, it was horrible and if he could cut his hearth and give it away just to spare her the next offense, he would do that in a hearth beat. He will have to say it and run away because he couldn’t endure the strain of looking in her blue eyes without losing his mind. She would crush any resistance he could oppose and then he would be lost.

The barrack’s door opened suddenly and Azzura knew it was him even before she could see the man standing in the opening.

“We need to talk.”

“ Sure. Let us find a place alone then. “

Only now he realized that all the party was there and everyone was throwing icy glares towards him. She looked pale and the blue aura she had around her ( perks of being mage how she used to joke once ) was gone . He could tell her mood after the intensity with which that aura glowed and he always knew if something was wrong just looking at the little changes in that blue mist surrounding her. Now it was gone, like every hope she had . He was the cause of it and knowing that drove him crazy.

“ No need. What I have to say it won’t take long.  I am sorry for all the pain I have inflicted to you and for what I will have to say. You knew that I never wanted to be a king..”

“I know that Alistair! But you always cared for those next to you, you always thought  about other people’s sufferings. You are a brave man, a man that can do even more from the position you have now. You can change the world if you want.”

Alistair lowered his eyes. He was the one to hurt her and yet she will support him and talk about his qualities. She should , she could be a queen, there was no doubt of that. But the country was on the brick of a civil war and Loghain still had many followers between the nobles. He needed unity in front of the Blight not fighting the last vestiges of Loghain’s crazy campaign against Orlesians.

“I will have to accept it, didn’t I ? But this will tear us apart. I am a King now and as the new king I will need heirs. It will be my duty towards Ferelden. That’s if I survive the war, of course.”

Azzura braced herself for what was about to happen. The sacrifices she had made until then were nothing compared with the one he was about to make.

“Say it Alistair. I am prepared.”

“I loved you since the day we have met. I thought that we will grow old together and that we will love each other until we will die. But everything is changed now. My life doesn’t belong to me anymore. I represent a country that it will require everything I can give. I will need to find a queen, a woman able to give me the heir I need, that Ferelden needs and to do that, we will have to stop here.”

Zevran grabbed a dagger ready to jump at the King’s throat. The blond elf was easy to pick up fights and he never backed up from them. The time spent under Azzura’s command was not what he expected. He always thought that once he would be released of his promise of loyalty, he had two choices. Return to the Crows or going to offer his services to Isabella. And still he was still there with his newfound leader and he cared for her like for a sister he never had. It pained him to see her suffer from the hand of the man she loved. It pained him even more to see that the man who learned how to respect and admire was doing this to his beloved.

Wynne placed a calming hand on his . It was not his fight , he had to stay away. The wise older woman was the one who always tried to find a compromise between them, calming the spirits when heated up, joking with them and making them feel like a large family. Zevran loved the old crone. So he stood there watching, unable to do anything else.

Alistair noted the stir going between the two of them and got out from the room.

Looking to Azzura he said:

“ You should rest. Tomorrow we have to go to Redcliffe”

“If that’s what you want then so be it . Good bye Your Majesty.”

The coldness in her voice made him die inside . He doomed himself to a life without her and he knew that everything was over. A friendship was not possible between them . He won’t ask that from her .

[Marika Haliwell]

Redcliffe

 

“ Alistair ,Azzura! Before retreating for the night we have warden business to talk “- Riordan was always like that but something in his voice made them believe that it was more than normal stuff .

 

The Archdemon has to die by a warden’s hand and the warden will follow him in the process . Azzura smiled at the thought . That was a release. If she could be that warden . Saving the world and saving herself from a miserable life was the best solution she could think of .

 

“ I will take the final blow” – the resolve in her voice was obvious to Riordan and he understood why she said that .

“ I am the senior here and I might not have that much to live, it’s up to me to be the one to kill the Archdemon . We will see what tomorrow will bring us.”

Careful not to touch Alistair in going out the door, Azzura headed to her room  but she knew that the sleep won’t come.

 

“Wait ! Please don’t go!” His touch always made her feel unable to control her powers and the fire surge raising in her hands was menacing. He always had that effect on her.

“What do you want Alistair? I very much wish to be alone right now . We don’t have nothing to say to each other, not anymore.”

“ I won’t let you sacrifice yourself! I am the King and I should be the one. I warn you that I will stop you.”

“ Who said that I want you with me? You have to stay and lead your army, I have my duty. Now, if you excuse me I wish you a good night.”

He’s cold voice melted into a low whisper :

“ Please don’t do that, I can’t live without you.”

 

The rage she felt in that moment made her tremble and she slapped him with all the force she could master.

“ Liar!”

Then ran away sobbing and leaving behind a trail of icy steps because she started to lose control of her powers again.

She almost ran in the bedroom and stumbled into Morrigan in process.

 

“”Ahi! Morrigan, what are you doing here? Don’t you have a room of your own?”

Her friend was looking at the fire with a sad look .

“So you decided to kill yourself. And don’t tell me because it’s for the good of all!”

Azzura tried to not confirm her friend’s supposition, but Morrigan was shouting now.

‘Yes! I know what implies killing an archdemon! My Mother told me. You are a fool. He never deserved you !”

Azzura felt the guilt washing over her . She still had friends who cared for her, even the slippery Morrigan was different now.

The woman took her hand and stood down on a stool by the fire.

 

“I know a way out. So you don’t have to die.”

All her blood went cold at Morrigan’s proposal .

“ Alistair won’t ever agree with that. Not now . I can’t ask him nothing now. “

“But you still love him and Gods! How much I wish to let him perish I can’t do that . Please convince him, it’s the only way. If we have the baby you will be safe and he will have the blasted throne and all Ferelden!”

 

With heavy steps Azzura went back to Alistair’s room and knocked on the door. She was aware that if she wanted to stand a chance in the incoming battle she had to regain control over her powers and mind. Easy to say than doing it. She took a deep breath and went to face him once again.

He was surprised seeing her and his eyes lightened up only just for a moment .

She told him about Morrigan’s plan talking fast and not giving him a way to reply. Alistair was horrified but she could see that he started to understand why she would ask that from him.

“Are you sure that it’s what you want? We don’t even know if it will work.”

“ Well if it doesn’t work you will live anyway . Be a good king to your people and in time you may find the peace.”

“You.. you don’t have to..” closing in the distance between them, Alistair touched her face losing himself in those blue eyes one more time . Tears flowed down on her cheeks and she retreated from his touch.

“I forgive you.  Andraste may give you the tranquility you need.’ And she was gone.

 

Later in Morrigan’s room

Alistair was dressing up quietly and keeping his eyes away from Morrigan. The beautiful woman raised from the bed and her whisper in his ear made his skin get goosebumps and not in the good way.

“ If I didn’t killed you it was because she loves you more than her own life and let’s say …I need it you to do this. Now go away and you never follow me because I swear that if we meet again I will kill you slowly and painful. “

[Marika Haliwell]

What thought, the field be lost?

All is not lost; th’unconquerable will

And study of revenge, immortal hate,

And courage never submit or yield.

                               -John Milton,

      “Paradise Lost”

 

Denerim

 

They marched for two days  towards the capital praying to find something to defend. The landscape showed the marred forests and scarred hills , signs of the Horde’s passing. The singing birds were replaced with crows feeding from the corpses on the ground. Wild wolves were feasting upon endless remains of dead livestock . Desolation and despair were sneaking their unseen fingers in people’s hearts.

Everywhere they could look , the death was reigning unleashed .In distance the towers of Denerim’s Royal Castle were covered with clouds of heavy smoke and the wind kept bringing the cries of despair from the people trapped inside.

Azzura had to admit that Alistair’s speech infused their army with new courage and even she was moved by it. A sweet, sad thought to King Cailan’s beautiful face and his innocent enthusiasm at the idea of beating the darkspawn at Ostagar brought tears in her eyes.

“I will avenge you Cailan. I promise.”

The battle was brutal. Hundreds and hundreds of darkspawn minions were pouring from the city, and she had to take care of people being ready. It was hard to keep everything under control and she left her officers to take on the job. The most important was to keep apart the Templars from the Mages. Even if not in direct combat with each other, the Templars still could influence the mages’ powers unintentionally .

The valiant mabari was fighting with claws and teeth  beside Zevran and Wynne . Leliana was alternating daggers and her shortbow in combat and she really was fighting like it was the end of the world. Morrigan in that moment seemed like a rage demon from the Fade bringing the fire upon the heavy armored ogre who was in close combat with Sten.

“Alistair!” Where was he? She couldn’t  see him anywhere nor Riordan for that matter. Then she saw him. He was surrounded by three ogres and he had difficulty  to parry their blows . One of the tall horned beasts drew back his head and opened its mouth beating his chest with fists big like a mill’s stone. Letting out a loud roar she charged to Alistair , she knew what was coming. If the beast got his hands on the King, he will be crashed like an eggshell.

“No!!” She dropped on her knees and pressed her hands together then splitting the air in a desperate cry she released a wave of cold ice in the attacker’s direction.

“Alistair, move left!” As in a dream she saw him shield bashing the ogre on his left side moving in time for the freezing wave to reach the other growling abomination.

“Need help, my friend?” Morrigan was at her side in seconds , looking worried ahead.

“The ogre on his  left. Force field him! He can’t take all three at once!”

Morrigan raised her hands and dropped a curse on the ogre then blocked it in a purple glowing field.

“Crushing prison first? That’s new to me” said Azzura with a light smile.

“ I still have some curses for the dumb man fighting them, too.”

Alistair finished the first ogre and several minutes later all three of them were dead. For a moment he thought that his death was close. He couldn’t see the last one because of a wall blocking his way.

“ Thank you! That was close. Maker what they are eating anyway?”

Azzura smiled again . It was like in old times, but everything was changed now.

Wynne let out a cry and pointed to the sky. The Archdemon was flying spitting hot flames of magic on the ground . It was an impressive and terrifying view. He was huge with long neck and tail and its wings were cutting the air like fans made of skin and flesh. His enormous mouth could swallow several people in the same time. The blue fireballs he was spitting were scarring the walls and killing the soldiers found in their way. Everyone ran for cover the best they could find.

“Maker ‘s Breath! He won’t make it!” Alistair became pale as he saw something attached on the dragon’s wing.

“Riordan” – whispered Wynne.

The older warden sliced with his sword in the flying dragon then cut into a wing. He tried to hold still but he lost the grip and fell .

Alistair looked to his lost love and said:

“Now it’s up to us .”

“No. It’s up to me, you will defend the gates . The army needs its king. I didn’t made you king and lost you, only to let the Archdemon kill you. This is the best choice we can have.”

And she was gone . Morrigan , Wynne and Sten ran after her .

[Marika Haliwell]

Fort Drakon’s Rooftop

 

The Archdemon was wounded from Riordan’s attacks but still was an impressive view.

“Archers, get behind the catapults !” – shouted Azzura at the dalish elves .

Sten assaulted the beast with a qunari war cry . The former Chantry prisoner had redeemed himself hundreds of times since he joined her by taking up fights that a normal person could just hold only for minutes. His qunari strength worth any prize in gold .

“Wynne, keep an eye on him please. Me and Morrigan can take care of each other. “

Sten was keeping the dragon focused on himself but Azzura told him to retreat .

“Why? There is no honor retreating in front of danger.” Then he understood and bowed his head.

She closed her eyes and raised her hands to the sky with the staff glowing in her right hand.

Focusing all her feelings and senses she called upon the lightning , ice and fire all at once . With all her strength she kept her thought on the elements and on what was at stake . Morrigan held up her staff and joined her friend in that destruction . She was glad that Azzura taught her how to call that immense power from the skies.  If Azzura could do that when she was focusing her sadness , Morrigan let her rage towards Alistair engulfing her .

At the bottom of the fort, the courtyard was slowly paving with dead darkspawn bodies . The soldiers fought with every bit of their will and the more they seen their King cutting into the fray, the more they gave to protect him and make a clear path to the Fort’s entrance.

Then they saw the sky tearing apart like the storm of all storms was going down upon them.

Bann Teagan’s jaw dropped open and he lost his focus just for a second. The sound of wet slashing came from behind him and he saw Alistair putting down an abomination .

“Andraste’s blood! Are you all right?” Alistair felt a sick horror at the idea of witnessing Teagan’s possible end.

“Uhm, yes I am .Thank you Alistair!. What is going on? They killed the Archdemon already?”

Smiling, Alistair let out a heavy sigh :

“Not yet. But I wouldn’t  be near those two women right now . That is their doing . And believe me, it is scary to see them when they are doing that.”

The Archdemon was slowly succumbing under the fire of his enemies . The dalish elves were brave and seemed that their arrows were endless . The dwarves were keeping at bay the groups of minions trying to reach their master and protecting the healing mages from being overrun by the creatures.

“Be ready, my sister! We are almost done! “

Encouraged by her friend’s words Azzura found the last vestiges of her powers and channeled it through her fingers releasing a chain of powerful lightning . The Beast felt to the ground howling in pain.

Without thinking twice she grabbed a sword she found on the ground and she rushed towards it.

“If Morrigan’s idea doesn’t work , then I will  be released . In peace vigilance, in war victory, in death sacrifice! Cailan, Duncan this is for you both.”

With this thought she impaled the dragon’s throat . The remaining death magic was flowing wave after wave from it, hitting Azzura with the force of a deadly blizzard. She steadied herself on her feet and let the striking force washing over her.  When she almost believed that she lost the battle, the air ripped apart with the noise of an enormous explosion.

Azzura was thrown back and lost her consciousness . Like as an invisible hand  caressing her, her black hair became of a snowy white. In matter of seconds her raven dark curls disappeared.

The soldiers looked up and froze all at once , their gaze stuck on the spectacle above.

Alistair felt a crushing weight in his chest and the fear grabbing his heart in a fiery grip. He started to run towards the fort without looking around him.  He ran like he never did before with gasping breath and the more he ran the more he felt like he will never reach the top of the tower.

Finally he could see people moving around the great battlements and he could see also her body on the ground.

Moving! She was moving aided by Wynne to raise to her feet.

He closed in the distance and embraced her without knowing nothing else .

“You are alive! Thank the Maker! You are alive!” he tried to kiss her but she shrank in his arms and with a veil of sorrow she let him go .

“No, Alistair. Let’s not make it even more difficult. It’s over.”

Lowering his head he nodded and then departed . The victory cries were heard all over the hills and in the city but he didn’t  acknowledged them. His life the way he knew it was over in the Hall . He was the King of Ferelden now.

“You coming ? “ Wynne rested a warm hand on Azzura’s shoulder.  “Poor girl, look at your hair!”

Azzura noticed for the first time the silver curls.

“Andraste’s Sword!!!! Don’t you know something to bring the color back?”

“ If I have known I would have done that long time ago with my hair, my dear.”

“ I would like to stay here for a bit , Wynne .Go ahead, without me. “

[Marika Haliwell]

The older woman decided that it was time to help Azzura come to an agreement with her destiny.  And she owed her an apology too.

“ I’m sorry. For everything I have said before about you and Alistair. I warned you about this and never I wanted to see you suffering, or him . You both took a path that separated you , I am very sorry. I was afraid that one of you will die and that will destroy the other one, but you survived somehow and now he is the King. I know it’s hard to believe it but the day will come when you both will look behind you and remember what you had . You will remember not with sorrow or sadness but with warmth and contempt that you lived together for a while and it  was beautiful . “

Wynne left and Azzura finally could let out all her despair and cried endless  time, without no one to embrace her, to care for her.

 

 

The festivities were going on all over Ferelden, because the Blight was stopped . Everyone wanted to see the Hero who slain the Archdemon  and praise her . She had to endure all the attention they gave to her and nod, and talk, and try to laugh and look strong.

The king asked her what she wanted . She said to the King that she wants to be free for a while .

These days she was finding the battlements’ quietness calming and welcoming . And she could avoid him too because she could hide from his site .

“ Azzura ? Please don’t go! “

She looked at him . How many times he said “don’t go” these days?  And how many times she had to steel herself to refuse him?

“I have hurt you badly, I am sorry! “ Alistair fell on his knees holding her hands, hiding his face in her robes . She touched gently his hair and let her fingers drown into it . The tears in their eyes were glistening like wet diamonds. She wanted to beg him to let her stay with him , even as his mistress. She could accept in time the presence of another woman but she knew that he had to begin his rule as a honest king, not one who will walk two paths in the same time.

And she told him that.

“It’s time for me to go. We will never meet again Alistair . Good bye, my love .”

He was stunned for a moment then ran after her but she disappeared like she never was there. And for months no one knew where the Hero of Ferelden was hiding , no one had news about her or had seen her .

Alistair drove heads on into studying and learning how to guide the nation that took from him the woman he loved .

Only at night he would pace around his room never being able to sleep more than a few hours.  He will learn to live without her one day, but for now, her leaving  it was still an open wound  that won’t heal anytime soon.

[Marika Haliwell]

To those who made it to read my poor writing attempt : if you were asking yourself if Alistair would hurt someone like that , it does happen . When i had my first blind paytrough with my human mage origin character , in the Landsmeet : we lost the election to Loghain and we had a huge brawl, Alistair executed him, Alistair was softened at that time and when i choose the option to rule beside him he will turn around and say " They barelly would accept me, You are not even a noble!" imagine my open mouth at that line lol;

 

The adventures will continue

[Marika Haliwell]

TEN YEARS  LATER

 

The world shacked  once again under a deadly threat. In the past years different events challenged anew the little respite the South of Thedas had. After the Blight and the news that the darkspawn didn’t retreat back underground, the unavoidable war between mages and Templars and the unsettling unrests in Kirkwall, the world as they knew it was shattered. The worst fears came to rise again when the Mages revolted and asked for their freedom and the sky ripped apart letting the unseen world known as The Fade to break into the mortal realm.

New heroes raised and old friends followed their own path. And then, there were those who wanted to find peace and be forgotten, but no one ever forgets entirely and sometimes the shadows of the past come back to haunt them or find completion. Old debts must be paid and deep scars needs to be closed.

 

The sunset threw its last remnants of light making the shadows grow deeper and the sound of daylight birds going quiet. The road between the green fields was flanked by bushes of elfroot and wild berries each one of them trying to compete in spreading their perfume.  Lone trees dotted the landscape inviting the travelers to stop and rest under their branches. 

The raider with his horse crossing the fields had no intention to stop unfortunately. Getting a closer look you could see that it wasn’t a man but a woman silhouette with long dark robes and a hood covering most of her hair and face. The lady also wasn’t in a pleasure ride but she was forcing her horse to give every last bit of his stamina in a desperate run. Behind the struggling couple an observer could see also three other men on horses intensively giving chase.

Like in a bad omen, ahead of the unlucky prey a dark shape raised from the ground and advancing threw a cloud of dark energy towards them. The hooded lady fell from her horse and stood dazzled on the ground. The three men were suddenly on top of her. The dark shape became a human form and advanced.

“ End of the road, Grey warden! Submit or my companions will help to see that accomplished.”

The woman spoke, but her voice never betrayed fear or faltered:

“ I don’t want to fight my brothers.” Then turning towards the men keeping her in place asked:

“ You are Grey Wardens, why you are doing this? Allying with a blood mage to chase one of your sisters?”

“We know who you are Warden – Commander. Or former Arlessa of Amaranthine? “

“ I don’t know what are you talking about! I am a woman travelling to the nearest town for the night.”

The mage pushed down the hood and white hair flowed from under it.

“You look to young to have grey hair. The only woman we know of is the Hero of Ferelden. And we are searching for her. I don’t have time to lose. We lost so much time, years trying to find you. It’s not important where you have been, it’s important to know that we want information from you. We found you by pure luck and now that we have you, we will have those answers willingly or not. Depends on you how we will take them out.

Azzura Amell, because indeed it was her, felt a heavy hand dragging her by the hair and dropped her at the blood mage’s feet. Her eyes started to feel heavy and she couldn’t fight the need for sleep. Every bone hurt and the more she fought to stay awake, more she felt the searing pain crushing her down.

“I don’t know what is happening, please let me go. I just got here several days ago.”

“We want to know how you survived the Archdemon killing. That’s easy.”

Horror spread on Azzura’s face. That can’t be possible, only the master Grey Wardens knew what it takes to kill a blighted dragon. Maker help her, but she had to fight, she couldn’t let them know the truth.  She was powerless, she was helpless and she was all alone in this world. Why she came back? She was safe there, she wanted to forgot everything, to be away from everyone.

Wary, she enquired the closest Grey warden looking at her:

“How do you know that? This is a secret, preserved only for the older Grey Wardens in the council! You betray everything the Wardens stand for!”

The blood mage warden replied laughing:

“You really were out of this world, don’t you? Things are changed since you disappeared. Don’t tell me you don’t hear the Calling either!”

Azzura’s jaw dropped open.

“The Calling? Are you insane? I don’t hear anything! And I also don’t know why I survived the Blight!! I am not Andraste or the Maker.”

“ Our master is calling us to end the blights once and for all. You must have dreams about it.”

She was so stunned by the revelation that she started to laugh.

“ You mean nightmares with big flying dragons and such? Oh Maker! Those dreams would be far less frightening than the dreams I had in the past years.”

The blood mage was uncertain. Something was wrong. Why the Hero didn’t fought back? They knew that she was one of the most powerful mages around and still she seemed like she really couldn’t. Or this girl wasn’t the real Hero, or something else was going on.

Slicing his pulse, the mage pressed his hand on Azzura’s forehead and cast a spell.

 

The green mist surrounding her bore no mistake. She was dragged in the Fade against her will. With blood magic. She knew that almost for sure, this time she won’t be able to get out. Not when she was what she was these days. Fear started to climb in her thoughts.

It wasn’t a good idea to stay in the same place; she had to find a way to wake up, to get out, and to find help, something.

She never was afraid of entering the Fade, but this time it was different. So much time has passed since she was here, to save her companions, her Alistair.

“Don’t think! Thinking only attracts demons!” She could hear First enchanter Irving telling her always the same thing about the fade, many times before her Harrowing.

Snapping in a full awareness before some demon could read her emotions … it was too late.

“Hello, Hero! You came back to me after all this time. Maybe now you would be willing to listen to me?”

The hypnotizing voice, the slender body and the purple aura surrounding it was well known to those who fought them. A desire demon, one of the most dangerous ones too.

“Don’t sing victory yet, demon. I will get out from here soon.”

“How? You are alone; you have no friends left and... – Azzura knew what was coming, a chill embraced her-.. Oh, you know, right? Alistair. It’s still an open wound, isn’t it? “

The scenery changed into her old camp, at night and… A memory. She and Alistair  making love near the camp fire. His strong body covering hers, his hands moving slowly on her legs, his lips placing kisses made of fire on her neck. She could see herself playing with his hair and gasping for air when he was loving her.

Azzura froze in place. She tried to bury deep all those memories, seeing them in front of her, assisting to them, made her sick. She never forgot, she never could. For years she had nightmares about it, for years she had to repel the need to go to Denerim and see him, only if from hiding.

The demon spoke again, soft in her ear.

“You remember that? Remember how he promised you to be yours forever? ‘

Now Azzura sat in the Landsmeeting room, once again. The election scene played vividly. And then came the worst part of it. Azzura felt tears filling again her eyes. It was like she had to live it all over again.

“ See? Promises that he made, now are broken. How sad, isn’t it? But also it’s your own fault, you put him on that throne, remember?”

The scene changed once again, this time showed a sleep chamber adorned with expensive furniture and tapestries. A huge bed was filling the center of the room and on it….

“No! Please don’t do this to me! I don’t want to see it!” Azzura was losing the last strands of her self-control. She was about to give in, she knew it.

“Why shouldn’t I? You don’t want to see the truth? Look at them. They seem happy. The man you loved is bedding your worst enemy. But why do you care? You never reclaimed him for you.”

Azzura closed her eyes to not see but the image of Alistair and Anora in the same bed- laughing and making love- was stuck in her mind.

“You could be her. I can help you to have him back. If that’s what you want.”

A new demon rose from the ground walking towards Azzura.

“Why she would need him? I can help you to take revenge on him. I can help you to make him suffer like he did to you. Your anger can be repaid”

Azzura started to scream:

“No! I won’t ever hurt him! We had to do the right thing, for both of us!”

She thought; it was so easy to accept their offers, so easy to have what she wanted, to let everything she knew fade away and embrace them. It was easy to lose herself, to not feel the pain she felt all these years, to be loved again…

The desire and rage demons were cuddling her in their fake embraces and she had no power left to fight them back.

And then, a blue sphere of light hurled the demons away and the bedroom dissolved leaving only the green mist. More lightning balls repelled the demons hugging her and an invisible shield took their place.

She felt dizzy and she still could hear a voice calling for her, then she felt a warm hand shooting away all the pain.

“You will be all right, Hero. I am here, you are not alone, and you never were.”

Opening her eyes, Azzura saw the face of a man – an elf- smiling. For some reason she knew that he was to be trusted, no one with those eyes could not be trusted. She felt safe in his arms.

“Who are you?”

“You can call me Solas. Come to find me, at Skyhold. We can help you lethalan. You have to be strong. Now wake up, they are here.”

Her senses were coming back one by one. First the smell of blood filled her nostrils, then she could hear voices and she could feel hands checking her, touching her.

She opened her eyes slowly and another man’s face came into view. A face that she recognized and yet she knew it wasn’t exactly the same.

Mumbling she succeeded to say:

“ Howe. I thought I killed you. Stop hunting me.” Then she lost her consciousness.

The woman accompanying the man gave him a strange look and asked:

“Do you know her? “

“Yes, but she thinks that I am someone else.  We need to hurry, she doesn’t look that good. Go to the village and bring a patrol, we need to take her back to the castle”.

[Marika Haliwell]

Ugh I forgot to make an update about this drabble lol

here you go the improved version with new chapters added . 

 

https://www.fanficti...-forgotten-love

 

 

http://archiveofouro...hapters/9000370