Now if they can only start doing it with a bit more tact and a bit less "goodbye, fourth wall, time to shatter you now".
I fail to see how the fourth wall was shattered in any way. No need to make everything dramatic, although that's a pretty common theme around here I suppose.
You sit down to talk to IB's friends after you instigate that meeting. You have to ask IB to meet his friends. When Krem comes up, you can very easily move on to the next conversation, ignoring the whole dialogue entirely.
Should you investigate and press the issue and talk to Krem, either because of genuine curiosity or the casual obsession with clicking all investigate options when available, you get a story from Krem and IB.
Should you ask stupid questions regarding Krem, you naturally get berated by those who like the guy. Is it somehow out of character for IB to be defensive of his group? All of his quests involve an angle of the protective leader.
I mean... if you ask an elf why they're not being a servant somewhere, wouldn't that make the elf's friends berate you as well?
But of course, if it's a topic related to transgender issues, it's breaking the fourth wall cause obviously transgenders don't exist on Thedas. That it's handled carefully is a result of the careful depiction of underprivileged minorities in media.
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I sincerely hope that they make Maevaris Tilani a party member in the next game, if only to see how people would react to an actual full-time transgender character in the game. The meltdowns.