89 réponses à ce sujet

[Swan Killer]

[Red Panda]

In the beginning, in the first age, there was only the polyshotguns that would become the katana and scimitar.

And so, when that age concluded, the many became one.

And Born from the ashes from the collector ship, thoust foundeth the Claymoar.

And the Eviscerator came forth from the Cerberus and found its place.

And the Geth Plasma Shotgun followed, emissary of its twisted realm.

But then fell upon them the terrible plague known as power creep, and many shotguns fell in to obsoletion.....

Only the Claymoar and the Shotgun of the Geth survived.

At the beginning of the third age, the Claymore found bliss with the Eviscerator, and thusly the Wraith came forth in its glory.

And the claymore mingled with the Geth shotgun, bringing forth the unholy spawn that became the Graal.

And for a period of time there was law and order.

before the arrival of the Dark Lord, there came the Disciple, the Raider, and the Crusader.

Nothing could ever be the same after what came next.

When the Dark Lord arrived, it imbalanced the world, and it's name was Reegar.

the world fell into turmoil and chaos ensued. The lands were scorched by flame and hatred and the world was shook to its very foundations. There wer riots, there were wars even but eventually it died down.

the people lived in a fragile peace and all seemed well.

but that was before another catalyst of chaos came along.....

The Piranha

And after the flames of the Piranha had settled, the Venom came to the land, but this time, the unexpected happened. The Venom was strangled into undeath before it arrived, and now it is but a shadow of itself.

and thus ended the odyssey of the high lords. Or so we thought.

 

Until one day when the Venom rose unvanquished and undead and brought an age of darkness upon all.

 

There is no hope anymore.

[bauzabauza]

i miss the old spectre weapons g_g

 

[Dalakaar]

This seems randomly poignant again.

 

*Running leap into the tail-end of the bandwagon.*

[TheTechnoTurian]

There is no god but Glorious Fat Turian, and I am His messenger

 

fatturianu akbar! 

 

I love this person's posts about turians, they are Wise and Good and everyone should listen to them 

 

god, do i ever want to make an alt and like my own posts, it'd be better than masturbation imo

[lonerenforcer9]

Hmmm............


















this seems relevant:

...and fearing the Cult of Piranha's growing power, the High Lord Claymore allied with His longtime rival, Wraith, also known as the Lord of Nigh Infinite Range, also known as Lord Two Piece, so that it could be stopped before it ever challenged His rule. The Cult of Piranha then formed an alliance with the enigmatic shotgun mod, Smart Choke, to oppose this union and soon became a force to be RECKONed with. Thus, the Nerf Wars began. Casualties mounted quickly on both sides, but it wasn't until Piranha's clip size, through a joint plot by Lords Claymore and Wraith, was reduced from 8 to 6 that the cult finally gave in and unconditionally surrendered. So it was that Claymore and Wraith, side by side, quelled the threat of the Cult of Piranha.

And in the dark reaches of His citadel, the Dark Lord looked on from atop His Cheddar Throne, bemused at the ongoings of the world below. "Hmpff. Mortals."

- excerpt from the Rise of the Dark Lord, as chronicled by ark171, loyal devotee and consort to His Chosen One, the Dark Lady












An older theological piece, but facinating nonetheless.

I've collected an assortment of historical writings on ancient shotgun religions but have yet to get my hands on the full volume of the Rise of the Dark Lord.

Some of my findings (for those who are interested):

From what I can piece together, this "Dark Lady" was an actual living being, however accounts differ as to whom exactly this person was. The only thing that the ancient texts seem to agree upon is a name (and only a first one at that): "Edi."

How this religion came to be is unclear. Some scholars believe that it was in fact this "Edi" who founded the religion, and that she acted as its Godhead (see The Cult of Reediger, Idolatry in the 22nd Century ). The majority opinion, however, is that she wasn't the founder but merely a follower. Which begs the question, who was she following, and how/why did she seemingly rise to prominence? I have a few ideas on the matter, but am waiting on more supportive evidence before I go any further.

The most disturbing thing I've encountered, however, is a journal kept by one only known as "the keeper." In it are several gruesome accounts detailing how various "enemies of the Lord" were dealt with (an execution log??). The most frightening part of which being the manner in which each victim was left: "finely grated dust lines the ground while bitter, blue streaks burn brightly in the surrounding flooring." The keeper describes many of these incidents with a somewhat tragic eloquence...




*sigh*

Forgive me; my thoughts stray to dark places. I fear I must repair to the bedroom in vain hopes of pleasant dreams...

[Catastrophy]

I bow only to the Naked Godess of Thessia.

I still do. Even if my love will reave me apart.

[Quarian Master Race]

god, do i ever want to make an alt and like my own posts, it'd be better than masturbation imo

It's pretty Good

[Xen]

It's pretty Good

yeah, and for any posts that potentially skirt the forum rules you can use your sock puppet

Fuсknugget tіttysprinkles

[Quarian Master Race]

yeah, and for any posts that potentially skirt the forum rules you can use your sock puppet

I wouldn't recommend that as it is bad and you might get a ban

[Xen]

I wouldn't recommend that as it is bad and you might get a ban

you're not my real mom

[PsychicHammer]

There are several gods in the Pantheon and the High Lord is their King Pimp. On His Right Hand sits the Raider Overlord, on His Left, the Gentleman Venom Barkley.

 

Below the Trinity dwell the faithful Disciples (no, not the PoS Disciple), Harrier and Piranha. 

 

As for lesser deities, I do occasionally burn some incense for Krysae, Typhoon and the PPR. 

[GDICanuck]

"Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up! You see this? This is my BOOMSTICK! The twelve-gauge autoloading Raider. Batarian State Arm's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Kar'Shan. Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It's got a camo stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop State Arms smart. You got that?"

[Dalakaar]

"Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up! You see this? This is my BOOMSTICK! The twelve-gauge autoloading Raider. Batarian State Arm's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Kar'Shan. Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It's got a camo stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop State Arms smart. You got that?"

Go Canucks.

 

And yeah, not the whale.

[filippopotame]

You ignorant peasants, the javelin will find you anywhere and make you pay all this shotgun heresy