That's probably it. I can't believe it didn't even occur to me. I wonder what that says about me.
I don't think it really says anything. I remember this around when the convo was first going around here on the BSN and coming to the same conclusion I had in my post up above.
If I remember right (and honestly, my memory might be completely off), I think even on Bioware's side, the reason why it was emphasized how all the women were able to see the problem and not the guys is because it was the *having sex with someone who looks like Leliana* part they actually saw as rape rather than the idea that the protagonist would be having sex with someone who's not actually who they're pretending to be.
Despite coming to the conclusion myself, I guess the reason people may not see it is that it's not really a situation that can really happen much in real life except maybe in the case of twins or so since people can't just make themselves look and sound exactly like another person.