Richard Leeroy Jenkins
^^^^
Funny ...especially when I did my Insanity run..I was at Level 60 when it began..So was Jenkins...I fully specd everything in him..He still couldnt make it past 5 minutes.
Yep. Level 60 Jenkins still gets owned by the basic Geth Recon Drone.
A Krolord and a Juggernaut walk into a bar.
Everyone else vaults it.
A Krolord and a Juggernaut walk into a bar.
Everyone else vaults it.
Volus rolls underneath.
Volus rolls underneath.
And Fury, Slayer and Shadow teleport in it.
Banshee too.
The other vanguards CHARGE!... the stools and order drinks.
considering we don't seem to be limiting ourselves to MP judging by Jenkins
A Krogan walks into Mordin's medical lab.
Mordin: What seems to be the problem?
Krogan: D-d-d-d-doc. I-i-it's-ss m-m-my st-st-s-s-stutt-tter. N-n-n-no one w-will m-m-m-m-ate w-w-ith m-m-me.
Mordin: Interesting. Speech therapy down the hall. Higher probability of finding solution there. Good bye.
Krogan: N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-no... Y-you don't und-d-ders-s-s-stand! I've t-t-t-t-t-t-tried eve-ver-ve-veryth-th-thing!
Mordin, feeling compassion and a bit of guilt because of the genophage: Understood. Will conduct thorough examination. Lay on table. Wait.
Mordin then conducts several hours of very detailed, very thorough examinations.
Mordin: Good news and bad news.
Krogan: Wha-wha-what-what's-s-s-s the g-g-g-ood n-news?
Mordin: Found problem.
Krogan: R-r-r-really? Wh-wha-wh-what's th-the bad-d-d n-news?
Mordin: Will get to it. Look at X-Ray first.
Mordin holds up a full body scan of the Krogan and points to each area he describes: See there? One of your reproductive organs is large. Too large. Causing strain on spinal cord. In turn, causing strain on vocal cords.
Krogan: Wh-wh-what can w-we d-d-d-d-dd-d-d-d-d-do?
Mordin: Must remove large organ.
Krogan: Wh-wh-wh-wh-whAT??
Mordin: Only way.
The krogan thinks of all the lonely times and the lack of attention due to his speech impediment. He is a fine, fine specimen otherwise, hulking and brutal, but the loneliness due to his inability to speak properly has caused him to become quite an outcast.
Krogan: O... o-o-k-k-k-k-ay...
After a 4 hour procedure of grueling, precision surgery, the operation is complete. The krogan comes to and speaks...
Krogan: Doctor, did everything go okay? My voice! I'm cured! AHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Mordin: Everything as according to plan. Everything smooth. Go, enjoy.
The krogan laughs and runs out the door, even forgetting to get dressed because he is so excited.
Two weeks later, the same krogan barges back into the medical lab, surprising Mordin.
Krogan: Doc, first of all, I want to thank you. Since the procedure, my social life has been great! I've become an advisor to the head clan, my mating requests have been booked solid, and my varren doesn't run away when I talk to him anymore! He's even top fighter in the tournament! But doc... my sex life is horrid. I need my organ back.
Mordin sighs, looks through some paperwork and shakes his head.
Krogan: Oh no! Have I waited too long? Is it irreversible? Tell me why, doc.. WHY???
Mordin: T-t-t-t-oo l-l-l-l-late.
A very complex joke
Took me a few readings, but... that's a good one. Damn good.
considering we don't seem to be limiting ourselves to MP judging by Jenkins
They literally turned his mouth upside down.
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
Richard Leeroy Jenkins
He was an idiot for soloing Geth on Eden Prime.
He was an idiot for soloing Geth on Eden Prime.
It's always the Primes that getcha.
The ME3 port on the Wii U
Time for you to eat the fruit of the clue tree, dude.
So it's the early Krogan Rebellions. A Salarian force lands on a planet recently attacked by Krogan. As soon as they finish landing they hear a voice call from behind a hill next to their LZ: "One Krogan warrior is better than 10 Salarian soldiers ".
The Salarian commander, not thinking much of the threat, orders 10 of his newest recruits over the hill to let them get a feel for combat. As soon as the squad went over the hill, gunshots were heard for several minutes and then silence.
The voice called out a second time: "One Krogan warrior is better than 100 Salarian soldiers ".
The Salarian commander, realizing his previous mistake, now sends his most experienced, battle hardened company of 100 men over the hill and as soon as the men disappear from sight, a huge gun battle erupts. After about 20 minutes of fighting, the shooting started dying down and after a couple more, silence.
Then the voice called out again: "One Krogan warrior is better than 1000 Salarian soldiers ".
Blinded with rage, the Salarian commander orders a fully equipped and superbly trained 1000 man regiment to combat. All hell breaks loose. Rifle fire, machine guns, grenades, fire bombs and explosions echo loudly from behind the hill. After an hour of intense fighting again came silence.
A lone badly wounded Salarian crawls back over the hill and with his dying words pleads his commander: "Don't send any more men... it's a trap!"
...
...
...
"There's two of them".
So it's the early Krogan Rebellions. A Salarian force lands on a planet recently attacked by Krogan. As soon as they finish landing they hear a voice call from behind a hill next to their LZ: "One Krogan warrior is better than 10 Salarian soldiers ".
The Salarian commander, not thinking much of the threat, orders 10 of his newest recruits over the hill to let them get a feel for combat. As soon as the squad went over the hill, gunshots were heard for several minutes and then silence.
The voice called out a second time: "One Krogan warrior is better than 100 Salarian soldiers ".
The Salarian commander, realizing his previous mistake, now sends his most experienced, battle hardened company of 100 men over the hill and as soon as the men disappear from sight, a huge gun battle erupts. After about 20 minutes of fighting, the shooting started dying down and after a couple more, silence.
Then the voice called out again: "One Krogan warrior is better than 1000 Salarian soldiers ".
Blinded with rage, the Salarian commander orders a fully equipped and superbly trained 1000 man regiment to combat. All hell breaks loose. Rifle fire, machine guns, grenades, fire bombs and explosions echo loudly from behind the hill. After an hour of intense fighting again came silence.
A lone badly wounded Salarian crawls back over the hill and with his dying words pleads his commander: "Don't send any more men... it's a trap!"
...
...
...
"There's two of them".
No method. No strategy. No reconnaissance. No stolen tech. Unbelievable.
An Alliance Major walks up to a young human infiltrator trainee:
"Smith!"
"Yes sir"
"I didn't see you at tac cloak training this morning!"
"Thank you sir"
While touring one of training grounds testing the brand new AIU combat platform, Alliance officials were surprised to find that the semi-annual marksmanship test had been cancelled for the second time in a row but the bi weekly fitness tests were going on schedule. In the words of one program supervisor: "Does it bother anyone else that the army doesn't care how well they shoot but are extremely interested in how fast they run? "
Just as an Alliance general arrived at FB Rio to personally supervise the operations of the newly installed AA guns, a Nemesis's bullet whizzed past and hit a wall behind him.
The general, in terror, threw himself on the ground and crawled into cover while the men accompanying him stood around unconcerned.
The general tugged on one of his guards' legs: "Hey! Aren't you gonna kill that damned sniper?"
"No sir. We're scared that if we do that the enemy will replace her with someone who can actually shoot."
Not yet sir!! We haven't played yet!I managed to retire from ME MP!!
Retour en haut
