The only patience PS3 owners need is when it come to listening to your complaining. 
If you preset maps and factions you can play indefinitely by deliberately avoiding Collectors, Ghost Hazard, Goddess, and Giant Hazard. White Hazard, London, Vancouver, Rio and Reactor (non-hazard) will occasionally cause framedrop, so you should probably restart if that happens.
Your game comparison hobby is admirable, but it does seem kinda pointless when you're so clearly predisposed to dislike Sony. The way you complain about the overall PS3 experience is the kind of thing that would have been punishable by death in the Empire. I wouldn't like to be near you if you stubbed your toe or, heaven forbid, suffered a paper cut! Your description of the 2-3 hours a system check requires is a wild exaggeration, which reduces any perceived validity your other points might have. The system check takes around 10 minutes, slowing down around the 35% mark, and can be avoided completely - as you've discovered.
Yes, the xbox version runs more smoothly than the PS3 version. Marginally. I haven't had a hard freeze during my last 100 hours or so, and only two games where the framedrop became almost unplayable - both on Ghost Hazard. And I have played Collectors several times, rebooting immediately afterwards. If you host, following the advice you've been given, those marginal differences become even smaller. And whether you host or not, you could try to STOP WHINING and just try to enjoy yourself man - I'm genuinely surprised the weed doesn't help you to chill a bit more.