579 réponses à ce sujet

[Commander Rpg]

All I ever did was lay out the fact that having a relationship with a girl, nice or not, exposes you to lots of risks which is better avoided. 

You shouldn't even wake up and go out crossing the streets, you may be stricken by a car and die.

[Cyonan]

All I ever did was lay out the fact that having a relationship with a girl, nice or not, exposes you to lots of risks which is better avoided. 

 

Most of your points about risks seem to be more related to marriage rather than a romantic relationship.

 

The only real risk to being in a relationship is getting your heart broken.

[TheBunz]

Since you all missed one alternative, what are the chances of finding a sugar momma?

[Bayonet Hipshot]

You shouldn't even wake up and go out crossing the streets, you may be stricken by a car and die.

 

You can look left, look right and when there is no car, you cross.

 

I suppose finding a supposedly good girl and hoping she stays good is as easy as looking left and looking right ? Oh wait, it isn't....

 

Lovely false equivalency. 

[Bayonet Hipshot]

Love the debate and it can be intellectualized all you want, and it can be statistically analyzed as well, and I do not doubt that there are many that feel the same way, but nature as place some pretty strong override controls into the system and most people are overcome by them, check the numbers. So, yes at least at an individuals perception level and at least for sometime into a relationship, there are nice gals.

 

Human nature can be overcome or at least redirected. Meditation, and exercises that are both physical and mental go a long way towards achieving that. Additionally, one can take their time to understand human nature.

 

Understanding human nature demystifies it, removes the illusion and presents you with the reality. Its like looking at a thunderstorm and instead of thinking that it was Thor or Zeus or Indra having fun, its a scientific process involving moisture, instability an charges in the clouds. Its like looking at the sun and instead of seeing Amun-Ra or Helios or Surya, we see that the sun rises and sets because of the movement of Earth. 

 

The same goes for human nature like love or lust or romance. Understanding that these are simply hormones running wild due to evolution and biological drives instead of looking at it as a necessity in life without which one would be incomplete helps a lot. 

[TheBunz]

Human nature can be overcome or at least redirected. Meditation, and exercises that are both physical and mental go a long way towards achieving that. Additionally, one can take their time to understand human nature.

Understanding human nature demystifies it, removes the illusion and presents you with the reality. Its like looking at a thunderstorm and instead of thinking that it was Thor or Zeus or Indra having fun, its a scientific process involving moisture, instability an charges in the clouds. Its like looking at the sun and instead of seeing Amun-Ra or Helios or Surya, we see that the sun rises and sets because of the movement of Earth.

The same goes for human nature like love or lust or romance. Understanding that these are simply hormones running wild due to evolution and biological drives instead of looking at it as a necessity in life without which one would be incomplete helps a lot.

I've got some pretty strong human nature. What kind of meditation is supposed to combat that because sitting quietly trying to think about nothing hasn't worked?

[Commander Rpg]

I suppose finding a supposedly good girl and hoping she stays good is as easy as looking left and looking right ? Oh wait, it isn't....

It's a metaphoric comparison, greenhorn. If you refuse to love and be loved by a woman, because she can betray you in the future, you shouldn't trust your parents, friends, teachers. Everyone nice can result in a betrayal, but with mean people you're almost sure there won't be any good.

 

In case you still don't agree, I can say real life will be a wonderful teacher, it will kick you hard in the gums.

[Bayonet Hipshot]

I've got some pretty strong human nature. What kind of meditation is supposed to combat that because sitting quietly trying to think about nothing hasn't worked?

 

You're probably young. Late teens ? Or early 20s ? I'm 23 myself. 

 

If the sexual desire is really strong I just pleasure myself . I run around 7km in the morning and in the evening I run up and down staircases. When I feel really down or upset or just a mess, I take a long walk while listening to classical music or meditate. 

 

I'm also a postgrad student.

 

So by the end of the day I usually have things to occupy myself with and will be too tired or too busy to think about finding nice girls.

 

 

It's a metaphoric comparison, greenhorn. If you refuse to love and be loved by a woman, because she can betray you in the future, you shouldn't trust your parents, friends, teachers. Everyone nice can result in a betrayal, but with mean people you're almost sure there won't be any good.

 

In case you still don't agree, I can say real life will be a wonderful teacher, it will kick you hard in the gums.

 

Romantic love =/= parental love =/= friendship love =/= respect for a teacher. These are different things altogether. 

[Cyonan]

It's a metaphoric comparison, greenhorn. If you refuse to love and be loved by a woman, because she can betray you in the future, you shouldn't trust your parents, friends, teachers. Everyone nice can result in a betrayal, but with mean people you're almost sure there won't be any good.

 

In case you still don't agree, I can say real life will be a wonderful teacher, it will kick you hard in the gums.

 

Maybe I'm becoming cynical but there is a kind of logic to it.

 

The thing is that when you love another person you generally have to drop some of your emotional guard, which puts them in a much greater position to hurt you in the future. I don't have to do that when I'm just hanging out with the guys, or talking about what code I'm working on with my boss.

 

When a guy friend stops hanging out then it sucks but you got other guy friends, so whatever. When somebody you love wants nothing to do you with, that's soul crushing and it starts sounding better and better to never risk being in that position again.

 

Family would pose a risk sure, but you don't typically get to choose who your family is.

[A Crusty Knight Of Colour]

hell, sometimes wish I had any women. Even if they treat me like trash, at least they're there for me.

Don't ever do that. Don't ever put women or companionship on a pedestal. Relationships are about compromise sure, and some relationships probably have banter. But don't ever ignore your own feelings or treatment just because she's a girl. Have the self respect to stand up or extricate yourself from those situations. You deserve better than someone using you for their own amusement, and you'll never be happy if you allow yourself to be treated badly.

On another note, Tishen's arguments in this thread are reminiscent of the 'Herbivore' phenomenon in Japan. Where socially awkward young men are forsaking women and dating altogether to pursue their own interests and hobbies. It's not a life for me, but I empathise with the idea of not wanting to engage in the dating scene, or putting yourself out there just to be hurt in the end. Because, let's face it, most relationships tank.

Otherwise we'd all be with our first or second partners.

[Voxr]

What is love?

[Bayonet Hipshot]

Don't ever do that. Don't ever put women or companionship on a pedestal. Relationships are about compromise sure, and some relationships probably have banter. But don't ever ignore your own feelings or treatment just because she's a girl. Have the self respect to stand up or extricate yourself from those situations. You deserve better than someone using you for their own amusement, and you'll never be happy if you allow yourself to be treated badly.

On another note, Tishen's arguments in this thread are reminiscent of the 'Herbivore' phenomenon in Japan. Where socially awkward young men are forsaking women and dating altogether to pursue their own interests and hobbies. It's not a life for me, but I empathise with the idea of not wanting to engage in the dating scene, or putting yourself out there just to be hurt in the end. Because, let's face it, most relationships tank.

Otherwise we'd all be with our first or second partners.

 

Heh. I am a Historian and since I have studied Japan a little, I can give an explanation to you about what is happening there and why I think it is happening. 

 

First off, until recently, Japan was a very strict Confucian society. By this I mean people there adhered to very strict roles, they had to be obedient to people that are viewed as authority figures and basically live this life where they have very little choice in what they do. 

 

Additionally, male-female relationships in Japan does not work like they do in the West. In a Japanese marriage, the husband makes the money but then gives all the money he makes to his wife who then gives him 10% of it while she spends the 90%, the rest on household stuff. Yes, that does make Western traditional relationships look progressive. 

 

This means that women in Japanese societies hold a lot of power, though most of the power is power by proxy. The control the household spending, they are responsible for raising and consequent indoctrination of children. Here's a trivia for you:- The Japanese rising sun symbol on the flag is actually the symbol of the Japanese sun goddess who is one of the most important and most revered figure in Japanese society. 

 

Recall that I said that obedience and submission to authority is key to the Confucian / neo-Confucian society. Well, if you are an employee in Japan, you have to obey your employer all the time. It is considered socially inappropriate to leave before the boss leave work and if they boss asks you to do something like accompanying them to a function, you have to. Boss is the authority figure and he or she is to be obeyed. 

 

The outset of this is that Japanese men and women, men specifically are, quite simply, tools. They have to work insanely long hours and follow their bosses' every whims only to come home and give all that money to the wife and only get 10% allowance for it. Workplace stress, work-related suicide is one of the highest causes of suicide reasons in Japan and I think you can see why. The life of a Japanese, especially Japanese men is an extremely stressful one. 

 

Following the 1997 economic crash which hit Japan particularly hard, many Japanese women divorced their husbands. Previously in World War II, Japanese men were forcefully conscripted, indoctrinated and sent to die for some pointless cause while the women and children stayed back home and if you know your history, Japan only relented because of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, because the women and children are getting affected. 

 

So what you have are a generation of young men who have watched their fathers, uncles and forefathers be tools and give up their lives, sometimes literally for emperor, for country, for bosses, for their wives...and what did they get out of it ? NOTHING. Consequently, many young Japanese men are just saying "F**k it" to marriage and romantic relationships. You would too if you are in their situation. Its not that Japanese women are somehow evil, its the crappy social system that they have that just makes living a happy fulfilling life difficult. 

 

What's more, Japan is one of the, if not the most technologically advanced and mechanized society in the world. There is mechanization for pretty much everything, including girlfriends. Virtual girlfriends are very popular in Japan. My theory is that men and women have only decided to coexist and interact with one another and get romantically involved because they needed to. Now, in Japan, men no longer need women and women no longer need men, loosely speaking. Household work can be solved by aids of mechanical devices. There are virtual simulations of women and men for both sexes to interact with. As a result, the need to be romantically involved is just not there. There are no incentives to do so.

 

The situation in Japan is different from the one in the West because with Japan, its neo-Confucianism, whereas in the West, it is Feminism and Cultural Marxism. Japan is not a feminist country or a feminist society, not even remotely. Divorce is not sky high there. Adultery is not a big issue too. There is no men vs women class warfare going on there that we see in the West. There is no feminist infiltration in Japan media or Japan video game industry. I don't even know many Japanese women who are feminists. Damn it, what feminist society will tolerate hentai and tentacle porn ?

 

The Grass Eaters or The Herbivore Men is simply a response to Japanese culture as well as the technological advancements in Japanese society. 

[Voxr]

I just knew if you found out about this thread you would derail it.

I already posted a sorta serious answer on page 2. I'm done with that now.

[Kaiser Arian XVII]

We all need someone, or we'll go crazy. 

 

All dat Blues, Jazz and Drama... I went crazy. Can't you see I'm shifted from Stoic Nicolas Cage mode to Batsh!t crazy Nicolas Cage mode!

 

I still have my pride and dignity in RL though. However it's mostly artificial and enhanced by cool ideas I have...

[FraQ]

Nice is boring.

 

Just sayin'.

[Commander Rpg]

Nice is boring.

You need more unpleasant people to kick your arse then.

[Cyonan]

Nice is boring.

 

Just sayin'.

 

You want nice with just the right amount of crazy in the right places.

[Kaiser Arian XVII]

The same goes for human nature like love or lust or romance. Understanding that these are simply hormones running wild due to evolution and biological drives instead of looking at it as a necessity in life without which one would be incomplete helps a lot. 

 

Don't dumb it down to external applications of casual relationships.

Understanding human thought and action is involved the study of not science, but of History, Literature and the arts.

[Bayonet Hipshot]

Don't dumb it down to external applications of casual relationships.

Understanding human thought and action is involved the study of not science, but of History, Literature and the arts.

 

Humans are biological creatures that create cultures. If you want to understand humans, you need to understand the science and the history. 

[Dobbysaurus]

This thread is hilarious.