We do indeed think alike.
That's perfect! And yes, when romancing Solas I loved the quiet moment with Cullen as just good friends. So sweet!
Good to know we think alike on this.
Cassandra's friendship scene in the war room ends like that, too, with the two of them leaning against that window and looking contently at each other and into the future. That is one of my favourite moments in the game.
That would make sense. But I kind of find it hard to believe that Bioware's joke had something so deep behind it 
Fans reading more into something than the writers intended isn't unusual, at least.
And Cole is a character who positively invites you to "go deep".
Oh btw, not everything is so bad with companions showing concern! I was taking a party through the temple in Forbidden Oasis, and when my char opened the tombstone and some freaky lights entered into her, Cole suddenly asked "Did it hurt?" I was like: "
, you actually care?!" And then I was: Wait a minute, for someone who can directly sense people's pain that was an awfully strange question..
It's amazing how in trying to do something right the game did something wrong! 
Ha! Indeed, the fact that one random party member will react to that was a positive surprise, but Cole asking if it hurt was a bit odd. I did appreciate the concern, though, and his curiously content reply of me being shinier where not everyone can see actually made me chuckle.
Definitely agreed. Maybe we'll get there one day, as there are I think many people who'd love more developed roleplaying with party. I know some who don't, but they typically don't play games like DA:I, thinking that such games are moving in the "Sims" direction. I see nothing wrong with that. As the gaming industry develops, it's only natural that characters become more developed in games that heavily rely on them to draw people in. And there are plenty RPGs with underdeveloped characters or without a party to satisfy those who dislike that.
Exactly. There are -- or at least should be -- room in gaming for different tastes, and Bioware games have usually been carried in no small part by the companions instead of the main story or the gameplay. I do understand some of the concerns because many people usually focus on the "romances" to the exclusion of everything else, which can give off an "I want a dating sim" vibes, while I'd like the "everything else" fleshed out and emphasized more.
I'm trying to remember if there are games with characters who show concern back at the main char. Ok, here's one example of a dialogue that creates connection between characters that I really like.
Ooh. That does sound ominous. Once you finish the story, I wonder if looking at that scene will remind you of something/someone from this game.
Oh, what I wouldn't give for such a moment with Cassandra! Or Cole.
These two top my own list of companions I want more, and more mutual, quality time with, yes. There are a few moments in which the writers seem to imply some concern or interest, but unfortunately our options for replying to that are shallow and limited, and the conversations immediately become more about what the NPC in question thinks and feels.
Yep I remember wanting to smack Varric at that moment or pull his ears, that was just mean of him to say! 
My word. Yes, both solutions to Cole's quest are supposed to be bittersweet, but this felt like the wrong way to convey that and made Varric look like a tosser instead.
Though I must admit that this line and some of the human-path banters annoy me on a very personal level, so I'm not unbiased. Themes like "there's only one way to be a proper person (and you're not it)", making fun of someone else's discomfort with body issues, or the assumption of automatic and obligatory (hetero)sexuality and how it will "fix" you squick me out something fierce, and not being able to offer the slightest objection to any of it only adds to that. I get it, it's supposed to be light-hearted and harmless, but being on the receiving end of this sort of thing can be anything but that.
I feel sad about him being a spirit anyway, even if I chose it. Mostly because as the game presents it, noone can see him anymore. Before that, people could see him, they just forgot him. Then they come to Val Royeux and people don't see him by default. Companions aren't relevant, it can be called a necessity for the flow of the game that they can always see and remember him. In the book it was a huge problem for him that people couldn't.
As far as I understand, back then he had no control over it because of how messed up and confused he was, and it frightened him because he had no idea what he was? That isn't true anymore. People might still forget him of their own accord (the whole "they already want to forget me" deal), but he also has more options when it comes to how he helps and interacts -- and he's secure now in who and what he is, so he doesn't need others to reassure him that he won't just stop existing.