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[Sifr]

Cullen: Stop right there criminal scum, you've violated the law!

 

[Toasted Llama]

Cullen: Stop right there criminal scum, you've violated the law!

 

*dwarfquisitor struggling to keep loot together*

Cadash stole nothing!

Cadash is innocent of this crime!

[Ravenfeeder]

Inquistor: "You're bleeding man"

Iron Bull: "Ain't got time to bleed!"

[KaiserShep]

Inquistor: "You're bleeding man"

Iron Bull: "Ain't got time to bleed!"

 

I can see Bull sitting at camp chewing on some weird noxious root, and offering it to the rest.

 

IB: Who else wants some?

 

Sera: Eyugh! Smells like arse! Woodsy arse!

 

Blackwall: I'll pass, but thank you.

 

Solas: I think I recall memories of a man keeling over from ingesting this root in the Fade. Some other time...perhaps.

 

Cole: Bitter biting searing in the back of the throat back of the mind, clearing head and...no thank you.

 

Dorian: Well, I suppose that's something to work past...

 

Cassandra: I'll...no.

 

Varric: [coughs] Smells like Bartrand's deep mushroom tea. I don't think I need more chest hair on top of what I already have.

 

Vivienne: Might make a good rat poison...or wyvern lure.

 

Inquisitor: Pass.

 

IB: Buncha slack-jawed pansies! This stuff will make you a god**mn sexual archdemon! Just like me!

[Bunny]

Allons-y, Alistair!

[redredwine]

I mostly want to say everything Gaspard's merc from Halamshiral says.  In the same accent.

 

"Andraste's ******!"

"I never thought Josie would feed me to f***ing demons over a bucket on her door!"

And, during the Winter Palace balcony scene,

"Stinking poncy cheesemongers!"

 

Additionally:  *punch the requisition officer*

[Bunny]

Were I romanceable, I would take you in a manly fashion.

[Inverse_Twilight]

How about:

1. Shut up Vivienne! Sera is my Girlfriend and I will kick your ass if you upset her.

 

2. Thanks for the gift advice, Madame de Fer, now get out of my castle.

 

3. Solas, why do you only talk about the fade? Get a life.

[Alex Hawke]

During "The Dawn Will Come".

Protagonist: Shut up.

 

During advisor's speech ("Inquisition, will you follow?")

Inquisitor: STFU.

 

(I can't stand all this crowd-control stuff)

[Majestic Jazz]

Inquisitor: "Andraste failed to give me a personality"

[Onmens]

Inky: Please, please, please listen! I've got one or two things to say.

The Crowd: Tell us! Tell us both of them!

Inky: Look, you've got it all wrong! You don't NEED to follow ME, You don't NEED to follow ANYBODY! You've got to think for your selves! You're ALL individuals!

The Crowd: Yes! We're all individuals!

Inky: You're all different!

The Crowd: Yes, we ARE all different!

Man in crowd: I'm not...

[thats1evildude]

Josephine: That was some good sex we had, Inquisitor.
Inquisitor: Yes, we definitely had sex, and it was both graphic and visually-pleasing!

(Note: Blackwall may be substituted for Josephine.)

[Sifr]

Josephine: That was some good sex we had, Inquisitor.
Inquisitor: Yes, we definitely had sex, and it was both graphic and visually-pleasing!

(Note: Blackwall may be substituted for Josephine.)

 

Inquisitor: That was some good sex we just had.

Josephine: You mean... "We just had some great sex."

Inquisitor: Did you just correct my grammar?

 

[Ashaantha]

A quote from DA2 said by hawke I wish was in Inquisition too..

 

"I'm not getting paid enough for this"

[TheDovah]

Adaar: No.

Varric: Do all qunari love saying No:

Adaar: No.

Varric: Adaar bluntly told the dwarf.

Hawke: You know i hate it when you do that Varric.Last time you told a story about me, i had to wear a frock to hide from my new fans.

 

 

Adaar: HAHA! MOTHERFUCKERS! THE BOOTS ON THE OTHER FOOT NOW FUCKERS! *Moments after being declared the saviour sent by the Maker*

Cassanda: Ugh

Cullen: Maker's breath

Leilana: ....

 

 

Adaar: I've been getting the hints, you want to mount the Adaar.

Cassandra: Urgh. You're worse then Varric.

Adaar: Nah, Varric's amusing. Now, before you mount the Adaar, you will need your armour, a poker and maybe additional armour. Qunari teeth can bite through metal and once you have mounted the Adaar, you will be fired into sexual bliss.

Cassandra: No, you must court me.

Adaar: I hate humans.

 

Cole: I reach down to stroke the kitten. it is gentle, kind and wants to be loved. But i can't take it. If i do, i may get tormented by the others.

Adaar: Cole, stop it.

Cole: Traiining it as a battlecat is what i will do. I will train it to become stronger then a purebred... oh, that doesn't sound pleasent. I don't think your sword would fit.

Adaar: I hate spirits.

Solas disapproves

 

Iron Bull: 50.

Adaar: What about the rifts?

Iron Bull: You know the rules. Things that everyone can kill.

Adaar: Fine, you'll get your gold but i'm taking the last of the horn balm

 

Adaar: If it's a trap, it'll be for them.

Josephine: Herald, we can't afford for you to be reckless. The...

Adaar: I'm a horde of rampaging qunari.

 

Adaar: What's stopping me? well, the fact that i'm a horde of qunari. Bull's another horde and we have a Cassandra. You, on the other hand are a piece of meat.

Bandit warchief: **** this, i'm outta here.

Iron Bull: did you just call me fat?

Adaar: No.

 

Adaar: Oh no, another rift. How scary. Argh, despair, oh how i **** my breeches. Oh how i, **** it, it's demon slaying time.

Varric:Adaar remarked whilst killing demons.

Hawke: I hate it when you do that Varric.

 

Adaar: I'm the inquisitor because you humans could not lead a nug if your lives depended on it. I mean, you are ****. Utterly ****. I've worked with drunken dwarves that had led better parties then you.

 

Adaar: Or we could use both me and Bull as battering rams.

Cullen: I'm not sure that would be wise, Inquisitor.

Adaar: We're are hordes of rampagning qunari. They would **** themselves if me and him bashed down the door.

 

 

Adaar: *Sigh*, no, Human. I'm not here to convert you to the qun, rape your woman, kill your kids, steal your bread, burn down your chantry, summon demons, attack denerim, unleash the blight and what other horrors you have imagined.

 

Adaar: *bangs horns on Haven's war room doorway* Oh for ****'s sake! *destroys it*

Adaar:What?

 

Adaar: I'm the goddamn Inquisitor and i'm here to kill all of you.

 

Adaar: Tal-vasoth motherfuckers! *against the vints*

 

Adaar: Ah ****, i think i left my sword back in Haven. or was it the dragon?

 

Adaar: If i get possessed, guys. contact the Hero of Ferelden and get them to kill me.

 

Adaar: Do this, do that, don't kill this guy, do kill this guy. And here i thought being the Inquisitor would be diferent to mercanery work.

 

Adaar: I wonder what's for supper tonight?

 

Adaar: Ah, more suggestions from viv on my looks. I'll just lose them again.

Adaar: *Upon seeing no cookies in his room* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

Adaar: I am not a qunari, Seeker. I am a weapon in mortal form.

Cassandra: Explain this then?

Adaar:It's a secret weapon bestowed upon me by the Arishok, who plans to conquer Thedas by sending a Vasoth to blow up a temple.

 

Josephine: As one of the Tal-valsoth

Adaar: I'm not Tal-Valsoth. I'm Just Valosth. It means one that has never been introduced to the Qun. Tal-Valsoth means one that has walked away from the Qun.

 

Adaar: I am not your ****** herald, not your saviour, not your hero, not your goody two shoes, so stop calling me the Herald and **** off!

Crowd: How may we **** off, milord?

Adaar:NOW!

 

Adaar: As Inquisitor, i hereby.... hereby.. damnit, hereb..... excuse me for one second. *Stands up and scratches arse* Sorry about that. Sitting in that tiny chair really makes my arse itchy. Now, where were we?

 

Adaar: 1000th kill!

Iron Bull: I'm up to 10000

Adaar: ****.

[d1ta]

Corypheus: You toy with forces beyond your ken!
Inquisitor: Well your ken can kiss my barbie...

... (*snip)

Bwahahahahahaaa
Wish I hadn't red this next to my sleeping baby... XD
Made me laugh uncontrollably. Took me much of my willpower to clamp my mouth shut XD XD

[Killdren88]

"Report to my chambers as soon as possible. We'll bang okay?"

" I'm the Inquisitor and this is my favorite shop in Val Rayeaux."

[vertigomez]

(sees a guard)
Leliana: "You want I should distract him? Make with the nice-nice while you slip by?"
Warden: "Don't be stupid. I'm that guy and the most beautiful woman I've ever seen is making eyes at me? It's either a bachelor party or a scam."
Leliana: "What did you just call me?"
Warden: "...I'm sorry. You're not stupid."
Leliana: "No. After that."

Dorian: Go to sleep, little Cole / you've been fed and you're sleepy / you'll be with / Uncle Dorian / who in no way resents not being asked to go to Halamshiral / and is certainly not thinking / of selling you to the first Venatori cult that makes him a decent offer...

[nightscrawl]

Cassandra: You're not as handsome as you think, Dorian.

Inquisitor: Yes, he is.

Cassandra: Don't encourage him!
Dorian: I must be, or you wouldn't have been thinking about it all this time.
Cassandra: Anyone who claims it as often as you must be dreadfully concerned they're not.
Dorian: Look at this profile. Isn't it incredible? I picture it in marble.

[TheDovah]

Adaar,Bull and Cullen having drinks at the Herald's rest

Adaar: Commander Cullen.

Cullen: Adaar.

Bull:Commaaaaaaaaaaaanddddddderrrrrrr Culllllllllllllen.

Cullen:Bull.

Adaar:COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMANDER CULLEN!

Repeats until all three have passed out. Bull is found naked, in the barn. Adaar is naked on his throne and Cullen is found with a new shield.

 

Adaar: Note to self, never challenge Bull to a drinking contest.

 

After Blackwall's personal quest has started

 

Adaar: That son of a ******! That no good two faced bastard! *fades to black whilst angry is heard*

 

Blackwall's judgement

 

Adaar: *gives Blackwall a look that is known to kill archdemons*

Adaar: You are a piece of **** and i loathe having traitors in my company.

Adaar: as a mercenary, i've dealt with traitors in the past by chopping off their heads or tearing the noble bastard estate apart.

Adaar: But as Inquisitor, i am expected to be fair in my judgements. So instead of unleashing a horde of angry qunari at you for your ****** betrayal of the Inquisiton, Orlais, yourself and spitting on the face of the Wardens, i will hear you out.

 

 

After leveling haven optional comments

Adaar: Iron ass and Shokakar would be so proud of me. Bastard would probably deduct 10 soveriegns for poor morale.

Adaar: Well, ****.

Adaar: I'm Qunari! We don't do cold!

Adaar: Elder ****, or whatever your name is, you have just made it to the top of my **** list. You shall learn why i am a horde of rampaging qunari.

Adaar: Stay with the inquisition, they said, We'll protect you, they said. Don't worry, we won't get attacked by a ****** archdemon and whatever that elder **** was. I hate humans.

Adaar: Ah ****, i left my spare sword back in Haven.

 

Adaar: This is my weapon, there are many like this but this is mine. Without it, i am useless, without me, it is useless

Varric: I think the inquisitor's finally lost it, Seeker

 

Adaar: I am not Tal-valshoth, i am Valshoth, How can i rebel against something i was never introduced to?

Hawke: Because it's very fun causing a mage rebellion.

The HOF: Yeah, about that, i need to ask you about Anders.

 

The HOF: So, this is the Inquisition. Meh.

Adaar: You're not impressed?

The HOF: No.

Adaar: *runs off crying to his room*

 

The HOF: So let me get this straight, you got involved with Warden affairs, freed the first darkspawn.

Hawke: And had supper with the Archdemon.

The HOF: I hate humans/ I hate you so much

 

The HOF: No

Adaar: Oh come on, i had it crafted just for you!

The HOF: Right, because i need more armour to add to my collection at the Vigil.

 

The HOF: So, you killed a high dragon. I am not impressed.

Adaar: You're worse then Cassandra

The HOF: Look, kid. After the **** i've seen, done and been through, you wouldn't be impressed at anything.

Hawke: Moody old git.

 

Adaar discussing the warden situation with his advisers

The HOF: I have one favour to ask. Spare those who surrender.

Adaar: No.

The HOF: Fine. Just don't come crying to me when the next Archdemon decides to eat all of you.

 

The HOF: About Anders

Hawke: If i knew he was going to turn into "Mwahahha, i will stab, stab kill, kill everyhting." anders, i would have stopped him.

The HOF: Yeah, it's kinda my fault as i kinda gave him the idea to stand up to what you believe in.

Hawke: Ah, good, so the horde of angry kirkwallers can send the angry cakes and letters to you.

The HOF: so just another tuesday for me?

 

The HOF: Hawke

Hawke:Warden

Adaar: Hawke

The HOF: Adaar

 

Repeats until everyone dies of old age.

[Tanyara]

After you are named Inquisitor with the swordholding and crowdcheering etc, you go up the stairs together with your advisors accompanied by epic music and enter the very messy and collapsed throne room - the dramatic music stops .
Right in this moment it would have been perfect with a comment from Inq or Cullen : "Well, this looks like sh*t"

Sadly, all we got was something like "So this is where it all begins".

[ask_again_later]

After siding with/conscripting the templars, when Cole appears at the war table and everyone freaks out -

Inquisitor: Don't worry! He's not dangerous.

Cullen: You know this... thing? How?

Cole: I was inside of him.

Advisers: ...

Inquisitor: Wait, no, no, it's not like that. That's not what he--

Cullen: --Right, about closing the rift...

Inquisitor: No, seriously, what he meant was--

Leliana: --The templars are ready whenever you are.

Inquisitor: I mean, he was inside of me, but he--

Josephine: --And I've ordered the lyrium. I think that about covers it.

Leliana: Yes.

Cullen: So it would seem.

*The advisers exit, leaving Cole and the Inquisitor alone. The Inquisitor bears a look of defeat.*

Cole: ...I was inside of y--

Inquisitor: YES! I GET IT, COLE!