Sigh....
I used to recall the old days...The old days when romances were simply optional things, an icing on the cake instead of full blown quests with shite like S&M or what have you...
It appears now the majority of Bioware fanbase are focused on wanting romances instead of a better story with longer main quests or more meaningful side quests or deeper combat...
At this rate, DA 4 should just be called Dragon Age: Romance Simulator.
Kefka112, on 13 May 2015 - 7:32 PM, said:
I couldn't help but notice that people who practice BDSM struggle to orient themselves relative to the "Vanilla types,"
Sorry for my poor copy paste quote but I'll attempt to answer this.
I don't mind Vanilla, but its genuinely the Vanilla types that resist trying anything OTHER than vanilla. So I don't bother trying to relate.
Preferring to play a dominant or submissive role in the bedroom doesn't necessarily have to translate into having a dominant or submissive personality in general. I imagine it's pretty common for people to use the BDSM as a way to act out fantasies that are quite at odds with their usual demeanor or role. In fact, one possible explanation for Bull's preference for sexual dominance in the game could be that it serves as a psychological escape from his submission to the Qun. There's still plenty of room for headcanoning.
It's still deciding part of my PC's character in a way that gives you zero wiggle room. Yeah, he can be an aggressive renegade everywhere else, but if I romance Iron Bull, he's always going to be Iron Bull's ****** boy and I'm not here for that. I'm not opposed to a character being on the submissive side in bed, but I don't want that to be decided for me.
Kefka112, on 13 May 2015 - 7:32 PM, said:
Sorry for my poor copy paste quote but I'll attempt to answer this.
I don't mind Vanilla, but its genuinely the Vanilla types that resist trying anything OTHER than vanilla. So I don't bother trying to relate.
Let me put it this way, I was watching this show Outlanders for like 20 minutes never seen it before... like... totally "vanilla right." I mean, it's certainly not within any regular BDSM practioners field of shows to watch, but I was watching it and all of a sudden this woman is being captured by a bunch of British soldiers and interrogated. Then the soldier guy whips out some rope, ties her hands behind her back, breaks out a knife, and then suddenly is cutting her clothes off.
Finally he throws her over the table and has her bent over while lifting up her dress and finally takes the knife and presses it against her bare nipple. Finally, someone busts through the window and is all "put the knife down," but I'll be damned if that wasn't some of the most intense BDSM action I've seen, and it was a completely kind of vanilla mainstream sort of thing.
Meanwhile you get people in BDSM who basically will just like the previous poster described have someone come over and clean for them and call that power exchange.
I'm like... you know... who's crazier here? Seems like the Vanillas to be honest.
It's still deciding part of my PC's character in a way that gives you zero wiggle room. Yeah, he can be an aggressive renegade everywhere else, but if I romance Iron Bull, he's always going to be Iron Bull's ****** boy and I'm not here for that. I'm not opposed to a character being on the submissive side in bed, but I don't want that to be decided for me.
Well, that's the case with other romances as well, isn't it? Romancing Sera means that you're an Inquisitor who enjoys playfulness and immaturity. Romancing Solas means that your Inquisitor values thoughtfulness and knowledge. Romancing Josephine means that you're a bleeding heart romantic. Having it decided that your character is dominant or submissive in bed isn't any more constraining than any of these other things. Isn't romancing a certain character part of how you characterize your PC?
No it isn't. Sex is not a necessary component of BDSM, though obviously if you're a BDSM couple, it'll most likely be a component. However, let's say we have a guy who is a masochist. He might well let himself be whipped by both men and women he has no sexual relation with, because it's the intensity, the play, that counts and not his sexual attraction to the people holding the whip/flogger/cane. Same goes for people who visit professional dommes. Very often there's nothing sexual involved, they just like being forced into a dress and made to clean a room.
BDSM just isn't sexual. Sure, some vanilla people try to be kinky in the bedroom, but that's not real BDSM. And many BDSM'ers bring it into the bedroom, but they don't do that for the sex, but because they are into BDSM.
Well, that's the case with other romances as well, isn't it? Romancing Sera means that you're an Inquisitor who enjoys playfulness and immaturity. Romancing Solas means that your Inquisitor values thoughtfulness and knowledge. Romancing Josephine means that you're a bleeding heart romantic. Having it decided that your character is dominant or submissive in bed isn't any more constraining than any of these other things. Isn't romancing a certain character part of how you characterize your PC?
For example 50 Shades of Gray I'm like.. this is sort of just the standard rom-com super rich controlling guy and submissive female that is in every other movie, like, that's the foundation, so you throw in a few whips and chains, but it's still fundamentally that sort of concept.
50 Shades is not only not a definitive reflection of BDSM, it's a glaring, egregious corruption.
The representative of BDSM in that series is eventually revealed to be motivated out of rage, a desire to revenge himself against his negligent mother. So he "punishes" women who look like her. It is not about sharing pleasure in the least, and his compulsion toward BDSM is treated like something he needs to be cured of and is very much linked together and confused with actual abusive behavior.
Let me put it this way, I was watching this show Outlanders for like 20 minutes never seen it before... like... totally "vanilla right." I mean, it's certainly not within any regular BDSM practioners field of shows to watch, but I was watching it and all of a sudden this woman is being captured by a bunch of British soldiers and interrogated. Then the soldier guy whips out some rope, ties her hands behind her back, breaks out a knife, and then suddenly is cutting her clothes off.
Finally he throws her over the table and has her bent over while lifting up her dress and finally takes the knife and presses it against her bare nipple. Finally, someone busts through the window and is all "put the knife down," but I'll be damned if that wasn't some of the most intense BDSM action I've seen, and it was a completely kind of vanilla mainstream sort of thing.
Meanwhile you get people in BDSM who basically will just like the previous poster described have someone come over and clean for them and call that power exchange.
I'm like... you know... who's crazier here? Seems like the Vanillas to be honest.
That...is not BDSM. That's assault.
That...is not BDSM. That's assault.
I hate 50 Shades of Grey so much. I actually had the misfortune of reading it after I got it as a gag gift last year. Full of bad ideas, abuse and misconceptions about BDSM, as well as very poorly written. I could color a grape with how purple that prose is. Is anyone surprised that it started life as a Twilight fanfic?
I hate 50 Shades of Grey so much. Full of bad ideas and misconceptions about BDSM, as well as very poorly written. I could color a grape with how purple that prose is. Is anyone surprised that it started life as a Twilight fanfic?
That's why most people can't take it serious lol
How it got so big is beyond me
That's why most people can't take it serious lol
How it got so big is beyond me
No kidding, I'm still trying to figure out why one of the biggest Twilight fanbases was women my age (early-to-mid 30s.) Putting aside all of the problems with the relationship, the book just sucks. So poorly written. I read the only first one and I promptly wanted my brain cells back. 
No kidding, I'm still trying to figure out why one of the biggest Twilight fanbases was women my age (early-to-mid 30s.) Putting aside all of the problems with the relationship, the book just sucks. So poorly written. I read the only first one and I promptly wanted my brain cells back.
Really???
I'd figure it was mainly teen girls
Really???
I'd figure it was mainly teen girls
That's half of the fanbase. The other are middle-aged moms. They have a hashtag on twitter. I think this will give you an idea:
That's half of the fanbase. The other are middle-aged moms. They have a hashtag on twitter. I think this will give you an idea:
LOL
LOL
Some of the people I could have graduated high school with. My generation never ceases to amaze me. 
Let me put it this way, I was watching this show Outlanders for like 20 minutes never seen it before... like... totally "vanilla right." I mean, it's certainly not within any regular BDSM practioners field of shows to watch, but I was watching it and all of a sudden this woman is being captured by a bunch of British soldiers and interrogated. Then the soldier guy whips out some rope, ties her hands behind her back, breaks out a knife, and then suddenly is cutting her clothes off.
Finally he throws her over the table and has her bent over while lifting up her dress and finally takes the knife and presses it against her bare nipple. Finally, someone busts through the window and is all "put the knife down," but I'll be damned if that wasn't some of the most intense BDSM action I've seen, and it was a completely kind of vanilla mainstream sort of thing.
Meanwhile you get people in BDSM who basically will just like the previous poster described have someone come over and clean for them and call that power exchange.
I'm like... you know... who's crazier here? Seems like the Vanillas to be honest.
You know what though? I like that kind of stuff (I don't advertise it) and I imagine quite a few people don't want to hear about it. That's why there's roleplay. It's just usually vanilla people tend to shy away from that kind of stuff and I understand. I just move on and hope to find someone as likeminded as myself.
That's half of the fanbase. The other are middle-aged moms. They have a hashtag on twitter. I think this will give you an idea:
I .. I can't .. I can't handle this anymore, my poor gut!
Some of the people I could have graduated high school with. My generation never ceases to amaze me.
And people wanna complain about OUR generation 
And people wanna complain about OUR generation
This is why I take it easy on folks that are 10-20 years younger than me. It's not like my generation has proven to be much smarter.
I .. I can't .. I can't handle this anymore, my poor gut!
Wait I take it back. Wouldn't Cass like twilight. 
50 Shades is not only not a definitive reflection of BDSM, it's a glaring, egregious corruption.
The representative of BDSM in that series is eventually revealed to be motivated out of rage, a desire to revenge himself against his negligent mother. So he "punishes" women who look like her. It is not about sharing pleasure in the least, and his compulsion toward BDSM is treated like something he needs to be cured of and is very much linked together and confused with actual abusive behavior.
Which further goes to highlight that Christian Grey is a full on sociopath with mother-issues.
That...is not BDSM. That's assault.
Spot on, that's not BDSM, that's a prelude to actual rape?
Wait I take it back. Wouldn't Cass like twilight.
Nope, even she has standards when comes to crappy romance books
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