334 réponses à ce sujet

[Hanako Ikezawa]

You can't possibly be that obtuse

 

Couldn't help myself. Thought I'd lighten the mood a little. 

[DaemionMoadrin]

 

Couldn't help myself. Thought I'd lighten the mood a little. 

 

That's not helpful.

[Hanako Ikezawa]

That's not helpful.

 *goes sits in a corner*

[TheOgre]

That's not helpful.

 

IF it's consentual I.e., roleplay in advance, it does not count?

 

 

 

Couldn't help myself. Thought I'd lighten the mood a little.  

 

I thought it was an appropriate gif.

[DaemionMoadrin]

 

IF it's consentual I.e., roleplay in advance, it does not count?

 

 

Are you sure that's the post you want to quote from?

[Aulis Vaara]

I don't disagree with the content of what you're saying at all. I just don't see why we'd use so narrow a definition of sex that we'd have to infer genitals are being rubbed. The whole activity is sexual in nature.

 

No, it isn't. You can't just redefine sex to mean what you want it to mean. Sexual means that either you're having sex, or you want to have sex with the person in question. In my examples, this was not ever the case. BDSM is often done with an intimate partner, but it does not have to be, and thus it is not necessarily sexual in nature.

 

2. I guess it's just a lot of it seemed like you could still predict people's wants and desires based on the "vanilla" rules of dating. Maybe someone likes being whipped but they would probably prefer it to be by an attractive female (if they're a guy), or someone that seems like a suitable partner.

 

1. Plus it seems like you can fantasize about something sexual in nature while doing something else. Perhaps being whipped cause him/her to think of their body, which is a sexual thing, and in a sense another person's sexual body.

 

Or like why forced into a "dress?" you know? It just seems like everything is always conveniently a bit sexual if not overtly so at least in suggestion or possibility. Very rarely does it seem like people do things purely in an abstract sense without grounding in basic sexual desires....

 

I'm not really here to like be critical or anything necessarily, it's just something I've noticed.

 

For example 50 Shades of Gray I'm like.. this is sort of just the standard rom-com super rich controlling guy and submissive female that is in every other movie, like, that's the foundation, so you throw in a few whips and chains, but it's still fundamentally that sort of concept.

 

3. Maybe what I'm getting at is there isn't so much BDSM and like hardcore BDSM or whatever but just a reflection that power (equality and inequality) is the way in which everyone forms relationships, whether that's made explicit in the form of toys and such seems somewhat secondarily related.

 

1. No, that's not the way people are, nor how they experience BDSM.

 

2. Would people prefer to do BDSM with an intimate partner? Yes, of course. But you would prefer the same thing when you're watching TV. Watching with a friend may be nice, but cuddling up to your lover would definitely be better. That doesn't make watching TV sexual, however.

 

3. BDSM is more about trust than it is about power. Why? Because the sub's desires must be given equal weight in a BDSM relationship to the Dom(me)'s or the relationship will not work out. And that is assuming there is even a sub and a Dom(me) in the relationship. There's a reason why there are such terms as top and bottom, switch, pet, cuckold, babygirl and daddydom (or babyboy and mommy). I don't know any good relationship that is about power, vanilla or BDSM.

[In Exile]

No, it isn't. You can't just redefine sex to mean what you want it to mean. Sexual means that either you're having sex, or you want to have sex with the person in question. In my examples, this was not ever the case. BDSM is often done with an intimate partner, but it does not have to be, and thus it is not necessarily sexual in nature.

 

This is just tautological. No one is redefining sex. This is just another one of those "oral isn't really sex" conversations, except the line gets pushed a bit further back because now oral is commonplace and SM isn't. 

 

You start from the premise that sex means a certain thing. That's not an argument. That's just a self-selected definition. 

[Aulis Vaara]

This is just tautological. No one is redefining sex. This is just another one of those "oral isn't really sex" conversations, except the line gets pushed a bit further back because now oral is commonplace and SM isn't. 

 

You start from the premise that sex means a certain thing. That's not an argument. That's just a self-selected definition. 

 

I base my definition on consistent etymology. What are you basing your argument on, "there is no objective truth"? How can you even discuss anything maintaining that position?

 

Oh, and oral isn't sex, though it is sexual. It's foreplay.

[TheOgre]

Are you sure that's the post you want to quote from?

Let me fix that on this here phone, good catch I'll quote your post

It is not. Violent sexual assault is not BDSM. One of the most important aspects of BDSM is that it's consensual, and focused on the enjoyment of each party involved. Please consider trying to entertain that distinction. It's actually a very important one.

To which my question was what if it was consensual? Something from the start with a safe word? Granted I don't imagine too many people out there that are umm.. That heavy or committed..

You can't possibly be that obtuse, which means you're doing this stupidity act on purpose. I wonder why you feel the need to do that?

I don't know where you got that example (does it even exist or did you make it up?) but it is very clearly assault and borderline rape. Basically textbook felonies. That has absolutely nothing to do with BDSM and you -know- that since you read this thread where there are pages upon pages talking about the importance of consent.
Nothing in BDSM happens against the will of the submissive partner. Even non-consensual roleplay is negotiated in advance, with limits and safewords and so on. Your example is nothing like it.
Imagine it happening to you personally, would you think, "Oh, kinky!" or would you fear for your life?

50 Shades is awful because the author has no clue about BDSM and the characters have psychological issues, the entire relationship is unhealthy from beginning to end and BDSM is something the main character needs to be healed from. Or something. Only read the summary and that was enough to hate it with a passion.

No, stop arguing. Nothing you said in this thread was new, your theories are not going to be accepted and that has nothing to do with people not being ready for them yet. Just the opposite, really. We've heard it all before.

You are making a lot of assumption that are completely wrong, you ask leading questions that only enforce your viewpoint when answered and seriously... just read the thread, it's all been said already.

There is also no way anyone here will answer your personal questions. What we do in private is none of your business and no one is going to give you material you can use to attack us. It's not relevant to the discussion, so stop it please.

Honestly, what do you want? If you were genuinely curious, you'd be looking up these things yourself, you wouldn't ask about it in a gaming forum... certaintly not in public. So what's your motivation? Are you out to prove that BDSM is not what everyone but you says it is?




Why would it be weird? The following cutscenes and conversations make it very clear that IB was not talking about his size. I can see why someone could get the impression from the cryptic comments IB made but that should only last till the next conversation starts.

I can't help but notice you posting in all of these threads too, and sometimes wishing you'd just stop so I wouldn't have to suffer this assault of stupidity like how you just equated glaringly obvious sexual assault with bdsm. Think a little, even if it hurts your brain, at least it'll stop hurting mine.

These two quotes.. I have to wonder why the hostility? I read this in my minds narrator and I could imagine the condescending and slightly elevated tone associated with that of a deeply offended individual. Your going to encounter disagreement on the forums. I am prone to aggressive moods myself but lay off a bit. If you really feel the need to shout down someone, tone it down. We are all having a discussion here.

[BioWareMod03]

This conversation has gotten off topic and is being locked.  Thank you.