103 réponses à ce sujet

[Dermain]

Perhaps she meant to say that 80% percent of all suicides are committed by males.

 

I found a statistic that says the ratio is anywhere from 3:1 to 10:1, male to female.

 

Anyway, the point is, I'm not surprised.

 

Men are more susceptible to certain aberrations of the mind.

 

No, men don't ask for help about it.

 

Yeah, I think that's definitely part of the problem. People jump into marriage without any thought, and then when things get rough, the whole relationship often collapses like a house of cards.

 

I have an acquaintance that just had a kid and married his first girlfriend. I'm giving them 6 months before it goes up in flames.

 

No one is obligated to hear about your problems or your emotions. It's great if you have that support system, but it's not something the world just gives everyone. I'd say paying to go see a psychological professional would help out if these feelings of stress and neglect are affecting anyone, ESPECIALLY if suicide is seeming like the best solution to anything (pro-tip, it's not).

 

They won't though because that means that they're admitting a weakness, and that's bad m'kay. 

[Lumix19]

I know right, it's so heteronormative I could throw up. Ick!

I just meant that marriage isn't just between men and women. Calling it "only for women" or whatever does a disservice to the fact that loads of men and women fought tooth and nail for the right to get married. Saying that men get "suckered into it" seems sort of like TurianRebel is putting their own experiences on everybody else and that seems kinda presumptuous. Loads of men, both gay and straight, want to get married.

Or maybe I'm just over analyzing this. I'll be elsewhere.

[Fast Jimmy]

They won't though because that means that they're admitting a weakness, and that's bad m'kay. 

 

No disagreement. There is still a great deal of stigma about mental health. Most males are fine with a doctor fondling their junk while telling them to turn and cough, but talking to someone about your feelings? Nah man, that's gay.

[In Exile]

No disagreement. There is still a great deal of stigma about mental health. Most males are fine with a doctor fondling their junk while telling them to turn and cough, but talking to someone about your feelings? Nah man, that's gay.

 

I would be pretty worried if my doctor wanted to fondle my junk when he or she's trying to listen to my breathing. 

[Fast Jimmy]

I would be pretty worried if my doctor wanted to fondle my junk when he or she's trying to listen to my breathing. 

 

Really? It's a common test for males. To make sure there isn't issues with your equipment. Nearly all males have to do it for athletics (at least in the U.S.).

 

http://www.todayifou...ring-physicals/

[Inquisitor Recon]

Am i the only one that actually believes in true love? Fate? destiny? you know the things that dreams are made of. I rather be hopeful, cheerful and romantic instead of joining the rest of the humans in cynic town. 

The sooner reality crushes the optimism out of you the more entertaining it will be for others.

 

No disagreement. There is still a great deal of stigma about mental health. Most males are fine with a doctor fondling their junk while telling them to turn and cough, but talking to someone about your feelings? Nah man, that's gay.

I don't think the majority of men are "fine" with it. Just one of those terrible necessities for people intending to keep living that long. Nobody should *want* to tell somebody about their feelings either, it's just another necessary evil in some cases.

[Dermain]

No disagreement. There is still a great deal of stigma about mental health. Most males are fine with a doctor fondling their junk while telling them to turn and cough, but talking to someone about your feelings? Nah man, that's gay.

 

They're also completely fine with a prostrate exam... 

[Fast Jimmy]

I don't think the majority of men are "fine" with it. Just one of those terrible necessities for people intending to keep living that long. Nobody should *want* to tell somebody about their feelings either, it's just another necessary evil in some cases.

 

Fair enough. But people see it as a necessary evil, while some people still see suicide as better option than going to a professional.

 

It would truly be a great day when someone will say "man, maybe instead of killing myself I should get myself checked out" as easily as people say "man, maybe instead of having this leprosy rot my arm off, maybe I should get myself checked out."

[Cainhurst Crow]

Don't have children and never get married. Problem solved.

 

Pretty much this, for both sexes at the moment. I remember in university the curriculum however were trying to push how women not being able to be married, have kids, and have a successful job, was an example of the sexism in society during my jurisprudence course.

 

So its only a matter of time, before even this adage is turned into a double standard.

[Inquisitor Recon]

Fair enough. But people see it as a necessary evil, while some people still see suicide as better option than going to a professional.

 

It would truly be a great day when someone will say "man, maybe instead of killing myself I should get myself checked out" as easily as people say "man, maybe instead of having this leprosy rot my arm off, maybe I should get myself checked out."

It's never going to happen however. The individual thinking about suicide is probably asking himself  "why bother" with what will seem like a waste of time and effort? Seeing a psychologist can be helpful but what the can do and what medication can do is still very limited. But the whole "life is worth living" argument isn't a very good one to motivate a lot of people.

[Fast Jimmy]

It's never going to happen however. The individual thinking about suicide is probably asking himself  "why bother" with what will seem like a waste of time and effort? Seeing a psychologist can be helpful but what the can do and what medication can do is still very limited. But the whole "life is worth living" argument isn't a very good one to motivate a lot of people.

 

You'd actually be surprised. Cognitive behavioral therapies combined with pharmaceutical support, such as SSRIs, have been shown to be the most effective form of depression treatment known to man, with a great track record of success. 

 

The problem is, of course, in consistency. Stopping therapy and/or stopping meds before it is time (quite) often leads to relapses, despite people feeling much better starting out. 

[Cainhurst Crow]

@Darth Su Lu Pi :- I like your new avatar. 

 

As a man myself, I think it is good to see other men finally standing up for themselves. Most men are content to just let shite slide without fighting for it. I know a few men who have committed suicide. Some succeeded, some didn't and now are critically injured for the rest of their lives. 

 

To those who are men and who are thinking of getting married, don't do it. You are effectively putting a Sword of Damocles over your head. Pre-nups can be and have been made irrelevant or tossed out of court or even torn up in court so it will not save you from getting your life completely ruined by the family court system. All pre-nups do is give the lawyers and the judiciary more money. I would not encourage men to cohabitate with women either since there are now common law marriages legislation popping up all over the world where you are considered "married" by the state which allows the woman you are cohabitating with the entitlement to take half of your stuff away. 

 

As a man, if you want to have a romantic relationship with a woman, do it but be aware of the risks. Do not cohabitate with her, instead meet with her on dates or what have you. She has to have her own place and so do you. Do not have a romantic relationship with a woman who makes less then you since that can be leveraged against you in court to take half you stuff away because you will be viewed as the provider in the relationship. Have romantic relationships with women who make roughly equal amounts of money or more than you. Even then, be aware of the possibility of false accusations such as false domestic violence accusations or false rape accusations that a woman can start which can ruin your life so make sure the woman you want to romantically involved with is really, genuinely trustworthy. 

 

As for children, either pursue adoption or legal surrogacy. It is common for women to use children as ransom in a divorce to extract more money from you, regardless if you are married or not (see common law marriage). So get a legal surrogate and even then, be sure to write up a proper contract so that the surrogate mother can't just take away the child from you later or can't use the surrogate child as a source of child support. 

 

Or you could look at all this devolving of the relationships between the sexes, give it the finger, go your own way and live your life as a bachelor. Casual friendships, domesticated animals as pets, hobbies and having life goals are just as fulfilling, if not even more so than romantic relationships. If you want to satiate your sex drive, there is pornography and legalized prostitution or sex toys or the upcoming virtual reality pornography.

 

Cheers, and have a nice day. 

 

It's called being a hermit though.

 

"Don't trust anybody, don't live with anybody, don't even associate with anybody, don't have kids, don't even so much as interact without a contract specifying a lack of relationship status".

 

Come on. your pretty much "don't trust floride water" and "don't trust cell phones and the internet" away from living the life of a woodland hermit.

[Inquisitor Recon]

You'd actually be surprised. Cognitive behavioral therapies combined with pharmaceutical support, such as SSRIs, have been shown to be the most effective form of depression treatment known to man, with a great track record of success. 

 

The problem is, of course, in consistency. Stopping therapy and/or stopping meds before it is time (quite) often leads to relapses, despite people feeling much better starting out. 

In my experience it is all very limited but I suppose it depends on the person.

[Sigma Tauri]

Cognitive behavioral therapies combined with pharmaceutical support, such as SSRIs, have been shown to be the most effective form of depression treatment known to man, with a great track record of success. 

 

Well meds suck.

[Fast Jimmy]

Well meds suck.

 

A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.

 

Besides, for those utilizing cognitive behavioral therapy, it is a very short stop-gap. It essentially gives the patient a calmer state of mind to evaluate their own thoughts and mindsets and identify what sets off negative emotions or habits. 

 

Its truly an amazing treatment model. And can be applied to nearly any aspect of life, from anxiety or depression to smoking cessation or marital problems. It really is just an effective method of assessing how humans think and the patterns we easily sink ourselves into. Recognizing those patterns and how our daily routines or common situations/feelings set them off is remarkably effective at blocking these emotions before they manifest themselves.

 

 

For example, as a smoker, you may smoke a cigarette every morning in the car on your way to work. If you try to quit smoking, walking out to your car on your way to work will fire up the receptors that crave nicotine, as your mind will begin the subroutines of visualizing and then enacting the steps to pull out a cigarette, fire it up with a lighter and take your first draw. This all happens in the background and is not something we notice usually. If you can be aware of these thoughts and catch them before they get too far down the path - such as the first beginnings when you step outside the door - you can prevent the chain reaction of brain activity that leads to your neurons screaming out for nicotine. Similar analysis and awareness can prevent similar cycles about self worth, depression and suicide as well (although the routines for these types of thoughts are usually much less predictable than when you usually smoke cigarettes).

[Sigma Tauri]

For example, as a smoker, you may smoke a cigarette every morning in the car on your way to work. If you try to quit smoking, walking out to your car on your way to work will fire up the receptors that crave nicotine, as your mind will begin the subroutines of visualizing and then enacting the steps to pull out a cigarette, fire it up with a lighter and take your first draw. This all happens in the background and is not something we notice usually. If you can be aware of these thoughts and catch them before they get too far down the path - such as the first beginnings when you step outside the door - you can prevent the chain reaction of brain activity that leads to your neurons screaming out for nicotine. Similar analysis and awareness can prevent similar cycles about self worth, depression and suicide as well (although the routines for these types of thoughts are usually much less predictable than when you usually smoke cigarettes).

 

Nah. Prescribing Wellbutrin is more convenient.

[Fast Jimmy]

Nah. Prescribing Wellbutrin is more convenient.

 

True. But much more expensive, all things considered.

[Sion1138]

Seriously.

 

 

And I'm practically a hermit myself. But it isn't for everyone. Don't try this at home kids.

 

It works fine if you don't get triggered.

[Kaiser Arian XVII]

In b4 all losers, the weak and useless die with no child and Human Population on Earth returns to what it should be: 2 Billions

 

Well mods suck.

 

Reported for insulting mods.

 

It works fine if you don't get triggered.

 

Ain't possible!

[Sigma Tauri]

Reported for insulting mods.

 

Girl, please.

[AlanC9]

Did anyone else have to google who Chanty Binks (sic) and Dan are?

And I dunno about PCs, but the AVFM site's mobile design is pretty awful, isn't it?

[Sully13]

Yeah but its a good cause. Chanty Binks kinda became a meme though.

[Gotholhorakh]

It's called being a hermit though.

 

"Don't trust anybody, don't live with anybody, don't even associate with anybody, don't have kids, don't even so much as interact without a contract specifying a lack of relationship status".

 

Come on. your pretty much "don't trust floride water" and "don't trust cell phones and the internet" away from living the life of a woodland hermit.

 

Indeed. I see it as very much like any other sort of risk-taking behaviour that forms part of a healthy life - at some point, having taken all the precautions you can, you have to just go ahead and leap or you will never do anything.

 

For instance, you can never have a healthy adult relationship unless you are prepared to put your neck on the block and trust that person, and far from being "unaware" that people are assholes, I think most of us make a conscious decision to trust in the full knowledge that something might go wrong. Since we risk death every time we cross a street, fly in a plane or jump our motorcycle over a nearby ravine, risking heartache seems like another part of the same process.

 

I even have a natural misanthropic streak but I fight it, because I would far rather be the decent, nice person who gets the occasional kick in the nuts from life than the person who "wins" by avoiding it.

 

 

I just meant that marriage isn't just between men and women. Calling it "only for women" or whatever does a disservice to the fact that loads of men and women fought tooth and nail for the right to get married. Saying that men get "suckered into it" seems sort of like TurianRebel is putting their own experiences on everybody else and that seems kinda presumptuous. Loads of men, both gay and straight, want to get married.

Or maybe I'm just over analyzing this. I'll be elsewhere.

 

No need to go elsewhere I agree! Heteronormative behaviour like this is practically hate speech imo.

 

It seems like truly retrograde behaviour, after we the people have been out in the streets for years campaigning for equal marriage, opposed only by a rich, powerful heterosexual elite seeking to impose its stuff on everyone else through power and cronyism.

 

As far as I'm concerned it amounts to homophobia and transphobia. I know it won't fly in the states, but the sooner European countries lead the way and bring this kind of thing under existing legislation, the better. A hefty fine or a short stint in prison would soon have people thinking along the right lines.

 

Acceptance is the future, keep fighting the good fight brother/sister/comrade.

[Sully13]

< Lesbian

 

Indeed. I see it as very much like any other sort of risk-taking behaviour that forms part of a healthy life - at some point, having taken all the precautions you can, you have to just go ahead and leap or you will never do anything.

 

For instance, you can never have a healthy adult relationship unless you are prepared to put your neck on the block and trust that person, and far from being "unaware" that people are assholes, I think most of us make a conscious decision to trust in the full knowledge that something might go wrong. Since we risk death every time we cross a street, fly in a plane or jump our motorcycle over a nearby ravine, risking heartache seems like another part of the same process.

 

I even have a natural misanthropic streak but I fight it, because I would far rather be the decent, nice person who gets the occasional kick in the nuts from life than the person who "wins" by avoiding it.

 

 

 

No need to go elsewhere I agree! Heteronormative behaviour like this is practically hate speech imo.

 

It seems like truly retrograde behaviour, after we the people have been out in the streets for years campaigning for equal marriage, opposed only by a rich, powerful heterosexual elite seeking to impose its stuff on everyone else through power and cronyism.

 

As far as I'm concerned it amounts to homophobia and transphobia. I know it won't fly in the states, but the sooner European countries lead the way and bring this kind of thing under existing legislation, the better. A hefty fine or a short stint in prison would soon have people thinking along the right lines.

 

Acceptance is the future, keep fighting the good fight brother/sister/comrade.