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[Marksmad is waving goodbye]

So we already have threads that are written in haiku, but the limerick is so much more challenging - and catchy. The challenge: write a limerick that is relevant to the Multiplayer subforum, about anything: an ode to the Graal, the characters, your last pug in one limerick, &c.

 

I'll go first, with a paean to one of our most prolific posters ( can you guess who it is? )

 

A lovely young lady, a Quarian

Loves a rifle of provenance Batarian

With the Claymore she's ace

Self proclaimed Master Race

And plagued by the Ghost that is Turian

 

 

...I'd apologize except I'm not going to

[Learn To Love Yourself]

There once was a Krogan named Chuckles

Whose fierce glare caused kneecaps to buckle

His stone face never-changing

Except for one occasion

He chortled when he bloodied his knuckles

[ALTBOULI]

There once was a young pug named marksmad

who played on the Nintendo Wii-U

he would drink afternoon tea,

with fruit of the clue tree

which caused him to QQ

[Learn To Love Yourself]

This Olympic AIU you should know.

She won gymnastics gold thrice in a row.

During her final cartwheel,

The announcer slow-mo’d the reel,

And exclaimed “My, that’s a fine looking toe!”

[Learn To Love Yourself]

There was once an AIU who developed a stammer

The technician failed to debug and reprogram her

She finally did tell

That her boyfriend’s a Drell

Which explains why her circuits seem jackhammered

[SethGecko]

One more game I can squeeze.
Quick match UUG, I'm weak at the knees.
Pugs have all gone down
But I can't see anyone around??
Condor...Biovar please.

[Learn To Love Yourself]

A Geth took a walk one fresh night

When its face became attacked by mesh tights.

The Geth pushed off… Commander Shepard(!)

Who responded, posing like a leopard,

“Sorry, I thought you were my fleshlight”

 

 

 

We'll bang, okay?

[Marksmad is waving goodbye]

Altbouli he's called, of all things

His rhymes fly like bricks without wings

His observations are curt

With intent to cause hurt

But it's clear b00g13's pulling his strings LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

[Learn To Love Yourself]

I am cursed to forever yearn for more,

because, none can I find, for sure.

I journey from one box to another

And empty!  There is no other,

Such as a Drell, who is a maximum grenadewhore.

[ALTBOULI]

Altbouli he's called, of all things

His rhymes fly like bricks without wings

His observations are curt

With intent to cause hurt

But it's clear b00g13's pulling his strings LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

I was expecting better from you tbh, normally your so good with google

[ClydeInTheShell]

Oh Bioware Forums, when did thou lose its innocence

Being stalked by the moderators with much diligence

Loyal members retire

Yet come under fire

I just laugh; their returns are all imminent

[RustyBuckets02]

There once was a young pug named Clyde,

and **** this for a game of soldiers, I'm going to bed.

[Heldarion]

There once was a player Lord Sirian
And he would only play GI until I stabbed him in the eye.

[smeckie]

This forum is full of crotchety old farts
Who sling insults at each other like darts
Sometimes reading them make me yawn
But I want the last word and that's....



Not sure if I did it right but I don't give a ****.

[RustyBuckets02]

ok, worked it out after all.

 

There once was a young pug named Clyde

Who acts like niceness personified

But he has quite the knack

If you don't watch your back

Of venting the core when you're still inside.

[Learn To Love Yourself]

Twofer:

 

A commander lay awake all night worryin.

He heard something all night long scurryin.

To his ears, the sounds were grating,

It turned out to be calibrating…

It was his mechanic, a good, ole, fat Turian

 

---

 

After much courting, an Asari’s heart, a Turian stole.

On their first anniversary, she prepared a sushi bowl.

She was painfully distressed

The moment he confessed,

“Sorry, babe.  I just don’t do rolls”

[Salarian Master Race]

There once was a BSN forum

Where games were discussed hunky-dorum

Then everyone went

To eat Spam and get bent

And the BioWareMods had to sort 'em.

[Learn To Love Yourself]

I read until my stomach can’t manage.

Most threads are akin to Demolisher spammage,

Infected, spread wide, without class

Like a Batarian’s plagued ass

Stay classy, BSN.  Thanks for the brain damage.

[Dunmer of Redoran]

From dark and dusty moons to warm, tropical savannahs

Teams of allies defend galactic forts and verandas

The diversity is indeed quite fun

So many races get time in the sun

But to be perfectly honest they are all just n’wahs

[Batarian Master Race]

So, the Reapers? Oh, don't get me started.

Though they're made of our dearly departed,

they're altered and changed,

disemboweled and deranged,

and not for those who are fainthearted.

 

Everyone hates the Marauder;

it's clear that they're no cannon fodder.

With a Reapers' Elbow

(such a punishing blow)

that makes many a player rage harder.

 

I had just heard an ear-piercing scream

when the Banshee appeared on my screen.

With her magnets a-grabbing

and her fingers a-stabbing,

her teleport's frankly just mean.

 

At least Cannibals tend to die quickly

though their habits make me fairly sickly.

When they bend down to chew

on our N7 crew

the medigel button acts fickly.

 

As a Ravager rocket whizzed by

I heard our device user cry.

I punched through its armor

and released some Swarmers

that butchered the poor f***ing guy.

[Ghost Of N7_SP3CTR3]

[Batarian Master Race]

I've been lurking around with breath bated

to see if my poems were hated.

But my turn of a phrase

seems to be getting praise;

It's nice to be appreciated.

[The NightMan Cometh]

Marksdad sucks

This must is true

Markdad always dies

And Sticks to the ground like Glue

[ALTBOULI]

Rustybuckets, he's always good fun
Cooked in the reactor until he's well-done
Spectre in name,
Spectator in-game
He often bleeds out on wave 1

[The NightMan Cometh]

Relevant....