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[Learn To Love Yourself]

My first love was a sweet Asari,

And we'd drive around town in my Ferrari

Until it went up in hot flames.

Couldn't save her, such a shame...

But it's okay cuz I also love calamari.

[Learn To Love Yourself]

I once took up the art of ball juggling.

I was so bad, my temper'd get bubbling.

Then I met a Batarian jester

Who turned out to be just a molester

And while he juggled my balls, he screamed, "Stop struggling!"

[SirDieAL0t]

I am the very model of a scientist salarian,

I've studied species turian, asari, and batarian.
I'm quite good at genetics

(as a subset of biology)

because i am an expert

(which i know is a tautology).
My xenoscience studies range from urban to agrarian,

I am the very model of a scientist salarian.

 

[Salarian Master Race]

I am the very model of a scientist salarian,

I've studied species turian, asari, and batarian.
I'm quite good at genetics

(as a subset of biology)

because i am an expert

(which i know is a tautology).
My xenoscience studies range from urban to agrarian,

I am the very model of a scientist salarian.

 

 

Not a limerick.  NOT A LIMERICK.

[Dabal Hayat]

There once was a Human, Shepard her name

Of mercs and scums, she was truly the bane.

She found a shy doctor under the ground,

It was love at first sight, strange and unsound.

Not even death such affection would claim...

 

 

Was is it good? Can I haz my cheezeburger now?

[Dabal Hayat]

"Name is Buck, and I've come here to f**k..."

Said a merc with a very big knack.

"Me too!" was a Brute's answer,

its chest boldly thunderer.

And the merc didn't remember to duck...

[NuclearTech76]

Since when did MP section become the poetry section.

[Batarian Master Race]

Since when did MP section become the poetry section.

 

If you see it with lenses myopic,

and keep your viewpoint microscopic,

this thread won’t belong.

But here’s where you’re wrong:

This whole goddamn board is off topic.

[Batarian Master Race]

With the Reapers’ success, I should do

some poems about ME2

and their signature faction

that still gets some action,

The Collectors, AKA “Screw you!”

 

Their Captains call legions of flies

that swarm in your mouth and your eyes,

and disable your powers

for what feels like hours.

They really aren’t very nice guys.

 

And the Space Crabs are nothing but trouble

Whether triple, single, or double,

With unnatural stealth

and way too much health

And rampant abuse of their bubble.

 

But Possession’s the worst of the lot.

See that Scion foe that you’ve just shot?

Your Cerberus Harrier

will just hit his barrier

while grenades will leave you a grease spot.

 

At least the bugs can be redeemed

by how they let you let off steam.

An A-bomb possessed

will leave quite a mess,

of your unwitting, too-trusting team.

[Kenny Bania]

Nerds

[SethGecko]

They should display these randomly on the loading screens of mass effect 4.

'Dont let a brute get close! Brutes are vicious opponents that...'. What kind of tip was that? I had a claymoar dude.

These posts would have served any new player better.

And I know you're watching Mods, I can see your shady shadows from the corner of my eye. Pass it on to your masters....

This wisdom shall not be lost!

[smeckie]

Nerds

Time for you to eat the fruit of the clue tree, dude.


I discovered Siri can read this **** to me and let me tell ya lol it's ****** hilarious hearing her read it.

[Salarian Master Race]

Destroy a Phantom's sword to increase its ranged capabilities.

[Batarian Master Race]

I'll give my dear readers a tease

before I move on to "Part Three"s:

Thanks to T.I.M.,

we're now fighting them:

the gods of TAKING CASUALTIES!

 

Yes, it's time for Cerberus to shine,

those gold-and-white enemies of mine.

While they're good with a blade

and negate my grenades,

their Phantoms are still pretty fine.

 

The Dragoons, while armed with a gun,

seem to derive much more fun

by smashing and lashing

and general thrashing

with near-endless staggers and stuns.

 

The Guardians' shields, without fail

cause Warlords to whimper and wail.

Though as each Krogan knows,

the best thing for these foes

is to tell them point-blank: "You've got mail."

 

The Atlas is sluggish and slow,

a real bullet sponge of a foe.

But the cannon can be

quite a danger to me;

it follows wherever you go.

 

I've of course saved Centurions last

The bane of all targeted casts.

These grenade-slinging bums

should really take Tums

'cause they all have some terrible gas.

[SethGecko]

Time for you to eat the fruit of the clue tree, dude.
I discovered Siri can read this **** to me and let me tell ya lol it's ****** hilarious hearing her read it.

You have to hear this ^^ lol

[Batarian Master Race]

Destroy a Phantom's sword to increase its ranged capabilities.

 

While I quite like your in-jokes and quips,

I feel like they may slightly slip

away from this thread.

May I suggest instead

Marksmad's thread here: Useful Tips

[EnemySpinach]

One day in ol' Mass Effect Three,
A pug just couldn't wait to pee.
Due to his inaction
he missed the extraction
The shuttle contained only we.

[Batarian Master Race]

One day in ol' Mass Effect Three,
A pug just couldn't wait to pee.
Due to his inaction
he missed the extraction
The shuttle contained only we.

 

One day in ol' Mass Effect Three,
A pug managed to wait to pee.
But the rest of the louts

managed to all bleed out,
and the shuttle contained only wee.

[GordianKnot42]

There once was a Vanguard on Rio.
Who dropped in with a crate camping trio.
He Biotically Charged
But the map was too large
Now he's lost in the river to the sea-o.

[Batarian Master Race]

There's often a Turian prayer

uttered by those would-be slayers,

and those who are fonder

of playing on Condor:

"Please don't leave me 'Waiting for Players'!"

[GordianKnot42]

Since when did MP section become the poetry section.

Ode to RNG.

[Miniditka77]

I would contribute to this thread, but none of the playable ME3 races are from Nantucket, so I'm having trouble coming up with ideas.

[Marksmad is waving goodbye]

Ode to RNG.

Awsum. And post #5 in that thread is a haiku

[Zmaque]

I confess that it's my motivation,

when I find I'm in a situation

where collectors abound,

knock my team to the ground

by blowing up Abomb ination.

 

So as not to wreck my post number, I'll just add on here, with Ode to a Pug:

 

Your desire to help is quite nice,

but I wish you would take my advice,

I was first to arrive,

So to help us survive,

Stop helping me hack this device.

 

 

The Turian Ghost is my bag,

but sometimes I hit a small snag.

My main goal is the score,

And some call me a ******,

But if I'm not first, it's the lag. 

[Learn To Love Yourself]

I confess that it's my motivation,

when I find I'm in a situation

where collectors abound,

knock my team to the ground

by blowing up Abomb ination.

That's a magical number of posts.  You should stop there.