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[Learn To Love Yourself]

There once was an Vorcha, Francine.

She had a quest to find pleasure unseen.

This unsatisfied Vorcha

Finally found a real scorcha,

A sybian, called “Big Machine”

[Learn To Love Yourself]

A Warlord, a once brutal savior,

Was dishonored by unwarlike behavior.

An Asari subjugated him,

And when the clan interrogated him -

“Hypnotized, by swollen blue labia”

[DaemionMoadrin]

There once was an Vorcha, Francine.

She had a quest to find pleasure unseen.

This unsatisfied Vorcha

Finally found a real scorcha,

A sybian, called “Big Machine”

A Warlord, a once brutal savior,

Was dishonored by unwarlike behavior.

An Asari subjugated him,

And when the clan interrogated him -

“Hypnotized, by swollen blue labia”

 

Ahahahaha.... dude... if words were pictures, you'd earn a lifetime ban from our friendly neighbour mods.

[Catastrophy]

Ahahahaha.... dude... if words were pictures, you'd earn a lifetime ban from our friendly neighbour mods.

Words are stronger than pictures!

[JRandall0308]

There once was an Asari Huntress.

When told she's in chaps — couldn't care less.

"It's like Jesus said:

"I'm not angry; instead,

"I'm turning both cheeks while in this dress."

[HusarX]

My name is Geth Prime.

And your a$$ is already mine.

 

I stagger you so hard,

That you won't be even able to fart.   

 

-only1Prime

[Batarian Master Race]

With drones that can turn on a dime

and shoot me as I'm trying to climb

away up a ladder,

nothing makes me madder

than that walking toaster, the Prime.

 

Geth Hunters can often defeat

even the BSN Elite.

Cheaper than Hazard Dagger,

they can shoot while they’re staggered

and shotgun you right off your feet.

 

The Geth Bomber is also unfair; he can

combat hop better than Salarians.

Its hitbox is strange

so if you fight at range,

then you’d better be Garrus Vakarian.

Didn't even see me coming.

 

 

The Pyros aren’t often a threat.

That’s, of course, until you forget

that one’s to your rear;

the next thing you hear

is your buddy cooked like a brisket.

 

But the robot who gets all my flak

is the one with the bullshit attack.

If I don’t get caught

with a three-rocket shot,

He gets my missiles right back.

[D-Rock0713]

I like to play Turians though they can't dodge
So then I end up in an enemy hodge podge
But those Marauders are nimble as a cat!
Spirits I wish I could roll like that..
Edit: from my @$$, your lips you can now dislodge.

[Batarian Master Race]

Have you heard of the Mass Effect diet?

If not, then you really should try it.

Once your stomach's gone

you can eat with aplomb!

(Of course, it is Banshee-reliant).

 

 

 

Endorsed by Turians, Batarians, Krogan...

[Marksmad is waving goodbye]

I like to play Turians though they can't dodge
So then I end up in an enemy hodge podge
But those Marauders are nimble as a cat!
Spirits I wish I could roll like that..

Eagerly awaiting the last line

[Batarian Master Race]

I like to play Turians though they can't dodge
So then I end up in an enemy hodge podge
But those Marauders are nimble as a cat!
Spirits I wish I could roll like that..

A limerick must rhyme like so:

1, 2 and 5 maintain their flow

But the fourth and the third

do not follow the herd.

See your revised poem below.

 

 

 

Marauders are nimble, like cats.

I do wish I could roll like that.

But since I can't dodge

I'm stuck in this hodgepodge;

I'm starting to feel that I'm fat.

[Learn To Love Yourself]

A homage, dedicated to some classic threads:

 

Taking down an Atlas ain’t fast.

Using my guns, the ammo won’t last!

And then struck inspiration -

I’ll try incineration!

With Flamer, it just takes one cast.

 

Spectating these noobs to pass time

Is like punishment for the most heinous of crimes.

They can’t solo wave 3

Because they’re not 1337 quite like me.

If only I hadn’t been sync’d by that Prime…

[Zmaque]

A striker'd destroyer, oh boy.

Should I leave, or stay and play coy?

When wave 3 rolls around,

With this package I've found,

My spinning can't help but annoy.

 

I see now you just aren't that good.

It's taking too long, understood?

With my shuriken'd vollus,

I'd certainly own this,

Were it not for my bleed out, I would.

 

The drone is the mission, that's true,

But you seem awful lonely, and blue.

You'd be bored and you'd yawn

So I'll missile this spawn,

Send my love, and some banshees to you!

[Learn To Love Yourself]

Lately, I've spelled "team" with "EI".

My teacher exclaimed, "Oh, me eye!

"There's no 'I' in team

"Wake up from that illiterate dream!"

I guess I play too much GI

[Hanar Master Race]

I went to a PUG
This guy sucked as a Jugg
He talked through the waves
He never even said hey
A banshee might give him a hug.

[Batarian Master Race]

A set of four poems about the best terrorists this side of Cerberus.

 

 

Soldier:

The Reapers' so-called power fades

when faced with Inferno Grenades

But when I'm in a jam

and can't grenade spam

I count on my Ballistic Blades.

 

Vanguard:

When enemies sit in a bunch

or I'm faced with a huge bullet sponge

I'll rely on my gun

to make up for lost fun;

for everyone else, FALCON PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNCH!

 

Sentinel

With shock nets to save foes for later

and my Lifting Shockwave detonator

I can lift and trap foes.

And now everyone knows

Vorcha aren't the true master baiters.

 

Adept

Drell are good at getting the job done,

but those weaklings can't use a shotgun.

With Incendiary Grall,

I can cut through TIM's thralls,

and do so while having more fun.

[Quarian Master Race]

^goddamnit another one. If only my glorious thread weren't locked.

[Learn To Love Yourself]

^goddamnit another one. If only my glorious thread weren't locked.

Make a new one

[JRandall0308]

There once was a Geth Trooper Soldier

"You Flamer too much! We abhor ya!"

The GTS shrugged;

Acolyted the pug —

Who'd an enemy over his shoulder.

[JRandall0308]

There once was a TSent Plat farmer.
(Mixed enemies are good for his karma.)
"I'll use any gun,
"But to really have fun:
"Get in close and -- you guessed it -- Tech Armor!"

[EnemySpinach]

There once was an adept hobo
Whose team really did awfully blow
Those pugs always showed
Their mean overload
So no explosions on the throw!

(True story. 2 adept/ 2 engi party today. No explosions ever.)

[Salarian Master Race]

The Bio Explosions are nice

But with Tech it's like rolling the dice

If a Tech Burst was sent

Don't eat Spam and get bent

The solution is simply Throw twice.

[Learn To Love Yourself]

She is the one I adore

More than any whom I've met before.

She's heavy and loud

She'll plow down a crowd

Yup, you guessed it.  It's Ms Claymoar.

 

I'm usually a prudent-type bloke.

I don't drink, I don't gamble or smoke

It's embarrassing for me

To admit the accessory 

I enjoy with her most is the choke.

[Dabal Hayat]

They came from the planet of sands

with weapons hold in both hands

Their humps hold a sexy swagger

but headbutts(!) it's the only thing that matter

Five Krogans of the mightiest clan:

 

First is the Shaman, the brother

Then come the Soldier, the daughter

Two Sentinel then, three generation apart

An ancient Warlord and a whelp with a knack

Last come the Vanguard, the proudest of fathers.

 

The soldier holds fire

For the Vanguard her sire,

Sentinels only belief is soiling their head

In blood, carnage and the dirt of the dead

But where the situation is dire

 

With biotic explosions the Shaman

will open a way: he's the pointman!

But doubt not: they're family

and they kill together with glee

but only if you equip them with shotguns!

[Marksmad is waving goodbye]

^^ Liked for the last line