22 réponses à ce sujet

[Learn To Love Yourself]

How is this related?  Your guess is as good as mine.  Anyway...

 

Batarian:  Repent!  The end is nigh!

 

Asari:  Embrace Eternity (then all of a sudden, you need to change your pants)

 

Salarian: Poof (a cloud of smoke puffs out of the cookie.  Congratulations, you're sterile)

 

Krogan: (Nothing inside but an entire Salarian, somehow smooshed up enough to fit inside a fortune cookie)

 

Volus: *kchhhhht*  Borrow money from a pessimist.  *kcccchhht*  They don't expect it back.

 

Drell: Look behind you (it is the last fortune cookie you ever open)

 

Vorcha: RRAAAAAAGHGHHHGHAGHAHGHG!!! YOU NO DESERVE FORTUNE, STUPID HUMAN!!  (fortune erupts into fire)

 

Geth: 01011001 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01101100 01110101 01100011 01101011 01111001 00100000 01101110 01110101 01101101 01100010 01100101 01110010 01110011 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01111010 01100101 01110010 01101111 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01101111 01101110 01100101 00100000 01101100 01101111 01101100 

 

Human: We'll bang, okay? (moments later, Shepard whispers the same into your ear, from behind)

 

What would you expect to see?

 

 

**Edit to add:

 

Quarian: Bonano!  My Soup! (As soon as you're done reading, the fortune starts to turn black and wilt.  It contracted an infection the second you opened the cookie)

 

Turian: o <-- I am Garrus Vakarian and this is now my favorite spot on the Citadel! (There is a grease stain from eating an eggroll and an arrow pointing to it.  I guess eggrolls are the only kinds of rolls Turians are allowed to have.)

[Batarian Master Race]

Elcor: "With feigned optimism: You will have a pleasant day."

 

Yahg: "T'soni!"

 

Reaper: "WE ARE THE VANGUARD OF YOUR FUTURE."

[MajorStupidity]

What would the fortune be for the suit-ra... I mean Quarians?

 

I imagine a Prothean one would have something referring to primitives and airlocks.

[nat in the hat]

Isnt the old saying you add "in bed" at the end of every fortune cookie and it becomes a dirty joke........

Now that I think about it, everything would be a dirty joke if I added "in bed" to everything

[Excella Gionne]

We need a special turian cookie for TechnoTurian.

[Dalakaar]

You have a magnetic personality. (You'll get Banshee grabbed next game)

 

You were unkind to a toaster in your previous life. (You'll get shot down by no less than two cerb-turrets)

 

You are the center of attention. (You're playing Drell Adept with 3 GI's and your game is lagging)

 

You learn from your mistakes; you will learn a lot today. (The first time you play with 3 teammates actively trying to abom/reactor you)

 

Your shoes will make you happy today. (First time you play Drell with Adrenaline Mod)

 

Joys are often the shadows, cast by sorrows. (Get outscored by someone you really shouldn't have been outscored by then W11 Missile yourself above them)

 

Everyone agrees. You are the best. (You'll get your BotB Banner and spend a day or two rocking the Femshep til it gets old and you go back to your secret favourite. In my case it's...)

[7twozero]

Isnt the old saying you add "in bed" at the end of every fortune cookie and it becomes a dirty joke........

Now that I think about it, everything would be a dirty joke if I added "in bed" to everything

"I really need to take a dump"

[Learn To Love Yourself]

What would the fortune be for the suit-ra... I mean Quarians?

 

I imagine a Prothean one would have something referring to primitives and airlocks.

Oh man, how did I forget?  Will update OP

[ajscott819]

You will live a long and fruitful life - just not with that ammo/UR/gear you want.

[Swan Killer]

nvm, ninja'd

 

ps: Geth and vorcha are my favorite, well done sir!

[Jeremiah12LGeek]

It takes more than good memory to have good memories.

 

 

In bed.

[Zeke0]

You guys are seriously overestimating the amount of text which can be contained on those slips of paper.

[Kenny Bania]

You guys are seriously overestimating the amount of text which can be contained on those slips of paper.

 

Long time

[Zeke0]

Long time

I shouldn't have left you without a dope beat to step to.

[AlceonDays]

"The store is going to troll you.... again... for the next purchases worth 2m."

[acicm2]

"you have lost connection to the EA servers."

[Learn To Love Yourself]

Quarian: 01010111 01100101 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01110011 01101111 01110010 01110010 01111001 00101100 00100000 01100010 01110101 01110100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01100011 01110010 01100101 01100001 01110100 01101111 01110010 01110011 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01110100 01110010 01111001 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01110010 01100101 01100001 01100011 01101000 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01101110 01101111 00100000 01101100 01101111 01101110 01100111 01100101 01110010 00100000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01101100 01101111 01100011 01100001 01110100 01101001 01101111 01101110 00101110 00100000 00100000 01001001 01100110 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100110 01100101 01100101 01101100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01101000 01100001 01110110 01100101 00100000 01110010 01100101 01100001 01100011 01101000 01100101 01100100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 01110100 01110101 01101110 01100101 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01100101 01110010 01110010 01101111 01110010 00101100 00100000 01101100 01101111 01101100 

[Learn To Love Yourself]

Batarian: (After using crowbars, mallets, bullets, and your last rocket, you finally crack open the toughest fortune cookie that ever existed, only to read) Looks like you finally stopped struggling. ;;^)

[grailseeker91]

Vorcha: You die now!

 

Life isn't fair (get shanked by a phantom that didn't prime)

 

And away you go (vanguard charge off the map)

 

You always wanted to be a medic (do I even have to explain this one?)

 

I love you too (get hugged by a banshee)

 

You'll see red soon (run out of gels and rockets do to rage)

[acicm2]

"teammate has flatline"

"teammate has flatline"

"teammate has flatline"

"teammate has flatline"

[The NightMan Cometh]

"Over 3,000 hours played, You realize you could have become a Doctor within that time span, right?"   (switches character to Volus Merc to accommodate said fortune)