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[The Love Runner]

Now that summer is starting, after those long days of being out in the wilderness, it's nice to unwind next to the campfire and share what you have with your fellow campers. Let me entertain you guys and gals with a little tune that is called "The Campfire Song Song".



Now, if you want to avoid the attention of the vicious creature known as a Sea Bear, DO NOT DO THE FOLLOWING:

1. Antagonize the creature should you see it

2. Play the clarinet badly

3. Wave your flashlight back and forth really fast (The wilderness is not a rave!)

4. Stomp the ground/yard (Why do you think Sea Bears hate the movie Stomp the Yard so much?)

5. Carry around cubed cheese (sliced is fine)

6. Wear a sombrero in a goofy fashion

7. Wear clown shoes (Not even The Joker's would save you)

8. Wear a hoop skirt

9. Screech like a chimpanzee (Unless you are Caesar from Planet of the Apes or Gorilla Grodd from The Flash)

10. Run, limp, or crawl away from the creature should it see you

Good luck with Mother Nature, and be sure to share your wilderness experiences with your fellow campers!

[Vroom Vroom]

I came in this thread expecting to exchange horror stories; I was not disappointed. 

[Jehuty]

Try not to bone a bear or raccoon. 

[Gravisanimi]

If you have a picnic table at your campsite, slide your coolers with food underneath the bench to keep the 'coons from getting inside.

 

Catnip is an effective mosquito repellent, but not rubbed on your skin. However it will draw all kinds of cats to it, so keep that in mind.

[Gravisanimi]

Camp fire can't melt steel beams

True, but it can melt aluminum pop cans.

[The Love Runner]

I came in this thread expecting to exchange horror stories; I was not disappointed.

Try not to bone a bear or raccoon.

I know that a guy named Ace Ventura has a horror story involving a rhino...

I would post a picture of the incident, but I don't want to risk getting a scout badge demerit on my uniform.

[Jeremiah12LGeek]

You don't have to outrun the bear. You just have to outrun everyone else.

[Vroom Vroom]

I've brought you all a horror story! 

 

[The Love Runner]

Dammit Runner! I wanted to post The Campfire Song Song!

Reezus be like:



and I be like:



Lolol!! JK, stay cool, Reezy!!

[The Love Runner]

I've brought you all a horror story! 
 

[mybudgee]

Trust no one
(esp. While camping)

[The Love Runner]

I remember when George Mcfly went "bird-watching". Good times, good times...

[Inquisitor Recon]

>campfires

>actually going outside

[The Love Runner]

>campfires
>actually going outside

SpongeBob: Have fun inside!

Meanwhile...



Recon's gone crazy confirmed.

[The Love Runner]

Ok, guys, would you rather roast weenies or smores?

Or would you just go balls out and barbecue with a bonafide grill rather than use the campfire?

[Kaiser Arian XVII]

Back in 98 I was in central Canada in a camp. Suddenly we encountered a big snake and some huge scorpions attacking our camp. We ran away to the hills but it wasn't safe there too. Dozens of penguins mounting brown bears and wielding hunting rifles attacked us. We had some casualties so we retreated to the other side of the hill. In total desperation we found our savior... a Tyrannosaurus Rex. He killed all the penguins and bears, then we did shake hands and he bid us farewell.

Moral of the Story: Tyrannosaurus rexes are your best friends. Or ... go to jungles fully armed.

[Jehuty]

Careful. You're scaring the people who've never gone outside.

Which explains why I'm pale like a ghost. 

[Sifr]

Do not siphon petrol from a car and use it to stoke up the fire... it'll work, but you will burn your eyebrows off.

 

A lesson a few of my friends learned a little too well, back when we were in the Scouts together.

[Br3admax]

Back in 98 I was in central Canada in a camp. Suddenly we encountered a big snake and some huge scorpions attacking our camp. We ran away to the hills but it wasn't safe there too. Dozens of penguins mounting brown bears and wielding hunting rifles attacked us. We had some casualties so we retreated to the other side of the hill. In total desperation we found our savior... a Tyrannosaurus Rex. He killed all the penguins and bears, then we did shake hands and he bid us farewell.

Moral of the Story: Tyrannosaurus rexes are your best friends. Or ... go to jungles fully armed.

The jungles of Canada?