Because no matter how optional and minimal those elements are, some people will still whine.
Krem has maybe five minutes of dialogue about his gender. Dorian has one quest to go see his estranged father in which his sexuality is a major plot point which lasts maybe ten minutes. That's fifteen minutes of content in a game that can easily last a hundred hours or more. And yet, people still complain. Why bother trying to please them?
Ultimately, players can complain about whatever they want. Some of it I agree with (bring back the Tactics system!) and some of it I don't (really could not care less about hairstyles.) Whether BioWare listens or not is up to them. I don't think BioWare should put stuff in the game or take it out just because fans say so - that would lead to a very weird game if they tried to listen to everyone. That doesn't mean fans never make a reasonable argument for what they want, and I think the people who complained about Serendipity had a good point. Apparently the writers agreed with me.
Frankly, I don't think accommodating players who want to roleplay characters who are jerks about this particular issue is worth the genuine pain it would cause some trans players to see those dialogue options pop up.
The game is full of an infinite number of things your Inquisitor cannot do. You cannot refuse to become the Inquisitor. You cannot side with Corypheus. You cannot murderknife random people. You cannot abandon the story and run away to Antiva. The same is true of all previous BioWare games. There's only so much energy they're willing to expend on letting your character be an arsehole. I think that if they want to give us more jerk choices, they'd be much better off letting us murderknife more people or hate on entirely fictional groups like elves and mages than giving us the option to be rude to Krem for no reason. One of DAI's weaknesses is a real lack of 'Renegade' options, but I really don't think that conversation needed one.
Yeah but that's more an argument to not have it in the game at all. I'm saying have it in the game, but let it be something the player can easily avoid when spotted or can respond to in the way they want to. And if those players still whine, then their grievances will be unjustified, because as you wrote, those plot elements were just a tiny, optional part of the game. Those players have no reason to complain. Thus these people are easily dismissed. But if it's forced on them, well then their complaints have merit.
They should bother trying to please them to get their money. Can't BioWare then turn around and donate the money to causes they believe in? Or at least set the game up in a way that those players might think about the message they're trying to get across? See, having the issue forced actually does a disservice to the trans character. If the player does not have the option to avoid it or respond as desired, then certain players will just end up hating the character and maybe the entire game. Nothing is accomplished. On the other hand, if the player is shown that hey, there's this trans character over here. Explore that character if you want to, and if not, no big deal, then the player sees that he or she has freedom to choose. Even players who choose to avoid the trans character will walk away not hating the game. Or, at least not hating the game because of the trans character.
Okay, so we agree. Fans can complain and BioWare can accommodate or not.
Well then, with all due respect, you might be missing the point of role playing games. As for pain. Um, I have a hard time believing that people feel pain from having dialog options they don't like. There are options to murder, which I don't like, but I want the options there anyway. I don't feel pain from it. Options to berate people of faith in the game likewise cause no pain to people of faith in the real world. Personally I think the people who claim injury from words are those who simply hate being disagreed with.
Well you'll always see me arguing for more choice, not less. But I understand some options being denied in order to forward the story. The Inquisitor can't just go around murdering innocent people, for obvious reasons. However, for a plot point that doesn't involve the main mission but rather the Inquisitor's own personal opinion? Of course the player should be able to choose that.