Ive finally gotten around to completing The Iron Bull's romance arc, and I like it for the most part. Im not a huge fan of the Bull in terms of characters design but I appreciated the portrayal of his romance.
My suggestion/request: if you write another BDSM LI at some point, make it a versatile one. And maybe make the BDSM content optional, if only to differentiate it from Bull's subplot
cheers
Ive finally gotten around to completing The Iron Bull's romance arc, and I like it for the most part. Im not a huge fan of the Bull in terms of characters design but I appreciated the portrayal of his romance.
My suggestion/request: if you write another BDSM LI at some point, make it a versatile one. And maybe make the BDSM content optional, if only to differentiate it from Bull's subplot
cheers
+1 to the suggestion
Agreed with everything the OP said. I wasn't the biggest fan of Bull in general. He was fine, but not my favorite. But, I think his romance was interesting. It was cool to see them try something new. I'm not really into BDSM, but I could definitely get into it for my character's sake.
I agree on the choice aspect though. I wasn't thrilled about getting railroaded into being submissive. I understand the rationale for it, but it's not my preference. Particularly once it started dipping into sexual roles between Bull and a male Inquisitor.
But, in general, I think it was great that they did something totally different with this romance. It made me appreciate Bull in a different way. Kudos to Weekes for trying something new.
I wholeheartedly support making it optional. People who complain about a lack of "kink representation" can get what they want, and people who prefer vanilla or no/delayed sex at all can also get what they want. Optional things are the best of both worlds. 
Wow, a thread about sex and representation on the BSN that's been around for half a day with no flame war?
Cool.
I remember a similar thread before, made a comment initially and then remembered that thread got locked due to toxic behavior from certain posters.
So I hid my post and then +1'd the OP as it was a good feedback suggestion to begin with.
Hopefully it stays clean of flames.
I personally love it that Bioware is writing different kind of romances BDSM romance included. It really adds replayability to the game and makes things more exiting by adding variety.
Don't know much about BDSM to be honest, but we have a legal situation going on where I live in which the notion of power differentials, consent, and when and if "rough sex" becomes abuse. So I find the inclusion of this a bit off putting right now.
Can BDSM be catogorized as a romance, or is it a sexual preference/acts that two people have within (or not) their romantic relationship? Because if it is about the specific activities two people engage in while having sex ... maybe that's TMI LOL?????
I can assure you that engaging in BDSM and being romantic aren't opposite concepts. They can go hand in hand, especially with long term monogamous couples. As well as with a polyamory group that's committed to each other.
I can assure you that engaging in BDSM and being romantic aren't opposite concepts. They can go hand in hand, especially with long term monogamous couples. As well as with a polyamory group that's committed to each other.
Thanks but my question (just out of curiosity) was do you call it a BDSM romance (as per the title of this post) or is it a romance in which the couple engages in BDSM?
Thanks but my question (just out of curiosity) was do you call it a BDSM romance (as per the title of this post) or is it a romance in which the couple engages in BDSM?
For the sake of the forums, I don't see a difference to be honest. The romance itself does show some BDSM, so the term is accurate here. BDSM can be very romantic, depending upon your taste and preference, naturally.
As far as thinking that the PC and Bull practice the BDSM lifestyle outside of the bedroom, the answer is no. It seems like it's been clearly established that's strictly for bedroom play. Besides, that would take a lot more dialogue to work, and it could very easily make other players extremely uncomfortable. For pretty good reason, depending upon their past.
I've done the Bull romance to completion twice, the second time being about 4 months after the game came out.
I'll try to build on what Nat's said, using this post as a reference:
Don't know much about BDSM to be honest, but we have a legal situation going on where I live in which the notion of power differentials, consent, and when and if "rough sex" becomes abuse. So I find the inclusion of this a bit off putting right now.
Sex always puts forward issues of consent. When done right, SM sex is about a relationship of trust. It becomes a lot more worrying when you get into "out of the bedroom" stuff, as Nat discuses, but that's a very different conversation (and it has serious implications for when those couples will sometimes try to involve unknowing third parties, as once happened to me, which is Not Cool ™).
While people tend to conceptualize SM sex as involving bondgage and restrictions of movement (e.g. handcuffs), the actual range of stuff that can be considered SM is pretty broad (e.g. just being exceedingly assertive/dominant while engaging in otherwise (mostly) vanilla sex, wearing certain kinds of fetish wear, etc.).
I'm trying to be circumspect while keeping the topic PG-13, but the reality is that there's a really broad range of activities that get swept in and a lot of what makes it "SM" ties in with the subtext of power and how you incorporate it into your relationship. It's a bit more open than usual sex in that regard, but it can very easily (and does, sadly) lead to abuse and abusive relationships.
Thanks but my question (just out of curiosity) was do you call it a BDSM romance (as per the title of this post) or is it a romance in which the couple engages in BDSM?
You can have both, really. Some people just enjoy BDSM. Some people aren't interested in sex unless some aspect of BDSM is involved. And some people can't have a romantic attraction to someone unless there is also a sexual attraction to them, and their sexual attraction is predicated on BDSM being involved in some way. I'd consider the first two to be romances in which the couples engage in BDSM, and the last one to be a BDSM romance. At least that's how I look at it. Then there's people who enjoy BDSM but aren't interested in the sex aspect of it (which is probably more common than you'd think), but that's probably not within the scope of this discussion. Also, Natashina is right in that, as far as this discussion goes, it's all really the same thing.
While I LOVE the fact that there was a BDSM romance involved, I seem to keep missing out on the romances I really want by one degree. In Mass Effect, Jack is by FAR my favorite romance, but I've never been able to complete any of the games (except the first one) with a male character. If I'm playing a game and the option is there for me, almost 100% of the time I'm playing as a female. But I loved how aggressive Jack was, and maybe my favorite Bioware romance scene ever is when Jack punches you in the fact and then kisses you in ME3. (I've watched it on YouTube a time or two). God damn it but I want that in a lesbian romance. And then in this game you have Iron Bull who is actually into BDSM, but is male, and I have zero interest in heterosexual romances I've never been able to play through that either.
Someday maybe I'll get my aggressive, dominant, BDSM themed, bisexual/lesbian romance option. Sigh.
I personally love it that Bioware is writing different kind of romances BDSM romance included. It really adds replayability to the game and makes things more exiting by adding variety.
Different kinds of fetishes being represented is fine. So long as they don't go too far, anyway. There are certain... Um... Fetishes that really don't need exploring in this series. I won't say any of them, fill that sentence in with whatever example you want.
Different kinds of fetishes being represented is fine. So long as they don't go too far, anyway. There are certain... Um... Fetishes that really don't need exploring in this series. I won't say any of them, fill that sentence in with whatever example you want.
If BioWare ever delves into foot fetishes for a romance, then that's a game I'm going to skip.
If BioWare ever delves into foot fetishes for a romance, then that's a game I'm going to skip.
I'll never understand that fetish
If BioWare ever delves into foot fetishes for a romance, then that's a game I'm going to skip.
Every time that comes up, I feel obliged to quote Dan Savage. Hyperbolic rhetoric aside, it always gets a chuckle out of me:
There is a Karmic Rule of Kink (KROK), and it goes something like this: "Dump the honest foot fetishist and you will marry the dishonest necrophiliac." Break up with a person over his relatively tame fetish — and a foot fetish is about as tame as they get — and KROK will make sure your next partner is some liar who tells you only what you want to hear. ("Honestly, honey, I only like live people!") Only after you've married the person— once extricating yourself from the marriage becomes a hugely complicated ordeal — will your partner ask you to lie in a tub of ice until you're good and cold. And when you're lying in that tub of ice — you'll remember that sweet, harmless foot fetishist whose heart you broke back in college, the person you could have married.
I'll never understand that fetish
I definitely not get foot fetishes, but I get body part fetishes. I mean, those are pretty common (e.g. breasts, ass, etc.). So I find it pretty hard to judge.
If BioWare ever delves into foot fetishes for a romance, then that's a game I'm going to skip.
That's what popped into your head? I've been on the internet too long then, because the fetishes I was thinking were much nastier. I kinda, somewhat, wish that I was still as innocent as you 
.
I definitely not get foot fetishes, but I get body part fetishes. I mean, those are pretty common (e.g. breasts, ass, etc.). So I find it pretty hard to judge.
Yea, I get those but foot is the only one I just don't get
Even leg makes more sense than feet lol
Different kinds of fetishes being represented is fine. So long as they don't go too far, anyway. There are certain... Um... Fetishes that really don't need exploring in this series. I won't say any of them, fill that sentence in with whatever example you want.
With fetishes I think Bioware should at least stay in limit on what people who aren't into that fetish would still be willing to play and be happy with, so something that might intrest, maybe be funny or akward, but nothing majority of players would find disgusting.
Every time that comes up, I feel obliged to quote Dan Savage. Hyperbolic rhetoric aside, it always gets a chuckle out of me:
.
You might want to edit your post hun. I've seen folks get warning points and reported for the f-bomb.
You might want to edit your post hun. I've seen folks get warning points and reported for the f-bomb.
Eeep. Well, it wasn't on purpose! Thanks
Eeep. Well, it wasn't on purpose! Thanks
I didn't figure and no worries.
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