I don't know about gayShep romance with Kaidan being the 'better' romance but I do think the writers did great job smoothing the romance narrative in ME3 but in larger context, both romances are very different.
With BroShep and new romance FemShep/Kaidan, the romance arc only started after the Citadel Coup. Unless you have Citadel, Leviathan and Extended Cut DLC, it was a watered down version of the romance arc. In ME1 and ME2, unlike Liara, Kaidan never hint any romantic intention to unromanced MaleShep and you need a lot of headcanon just to smooth out his gay romance arc. And Its bad enough that the game doesn't acknowledge modded MaleShep/Kaidan ME1 romance in ME3.
With FemShep romanced from ME1, the romance is a continuous arc that span several years. By the time you lock-in romance ME3, they're inside their comfort zone where each of them treat one another as supportive life partners rather than just newly discovered friends turned lovers. Besides, I always have a thing for romances where two soulmates was torn apart and then conflict and angst... I'm a sucker for drama...
Personally, DA2 did better with continuous romance arc and there's slight differences between either straight and gay relationships and it wasn't treated as a token afterthought since everyone have the same LI options. I've always preferred Anders romance with MaleHawke than his romance with FemHawke. I like to do tragicmance with Anders, knowing that Karl was Anders' lover and then he had to kill him.. and then later having my Hawke kill Anders. The pain is real...
And I thought DAO do have an Equal Love mod which works great with a silent protagonist like Warden.