I think it's okay to judge them by the standards of BioWare's own writing, which is one of the reasons why people tend to do that.
When that comparison does get made, it often boils down to TW3 vs DA:I or something similar. Those comparisons may have value (I haven't played TW3) but they have also been problematic. At the end of the day, people criticizing the weaker romance storylines are comparing them to what we know - our experience of how those stories are depicted.
I tend to think they are poorly written across virtually all forms of entertainment. It is pretty rare that I see a romance story and think to myself, "that was realistic." But I am not suggesting that romance stories are inherently inferiour. I feel that most action stories are poorly written. I feel that most dramas and comedies are poorly written. Perhaps I have high standards, but I do tend to apply them fairly evenly to any form of entertainment.
I certainly don't expect good writing from video games. In my experience, it is one medium that has produced a consistently lower bar than others. It is probably a side effect of development priorities. Video games are 90% gameplay, and 10% everything else (there are exceptions like Life is Strange.) As a result, the writing tends not to receive the kind of attention that it would on an HBO drama. Which is fine. I don't need my video games to be like Shakespeare. I definitely stand by my broad position that BioWare's romance storylines have been done both well and poorly, by the standards of comparing them to themselves.
I don't disagree with any particular point you've made. When it comes to Bioware versus The Witcher romances, I understand why those comparisons are so frequent, and I happen to admire the Geralt/Yennefer storyline more than I admire several of the romance subplots that Bioware has written. I think it gets a little soap operesque at times ("Let's go on a dangerous magical quest for a vague reason, and then I'll reveal during the course of that story that it's because I want to risk our lives to--or even our very existence--to make certain that our feelings for each other are really real"), but both of the characters are engaging enough that it's still charming.
They are also based and built off of a literary source, which for all of the reasons you've mentioned regarding video game writing, gives them a distinct leg up in how much death they can build into a shorter period of story time. Geralt is nowhere near a blank slate, and they're dealing with two established characters with preset personalities and a prior history outside of the game's plot.
I agree with your assessment of Biowaremances as a very mixed bag, but I also think your judgement is a particularly tempered and reasonable one, in comparison to the more strident dismissals that pepper this thread.
Also, just to be clear, I would never claim that improvement can’t be made or that the romances can’t become more immersive and complex. I think we should be realistic about the additional challenges of this genre, but I don’t mean that weak writing should be excused or overlooked, just that it should be examined within context.





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