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[Hilarious] Man Gives Ex Wife Literally Half Of Everything

Débuté par Guest_TrillClinton_* , juin 20 2015 12:53

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#1
Guest_TrillClinton_*
Posté 20 juin 2015 - 12:53

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http://www.cnbc.com/id/102771651

 

Talk about splitting up.

Following his divorce, this German man appears to have decided to split all of his belongings with his wife—literally.

The disgruntled ex-husband, who goes by the name Der Juli online, posted a video to YouTube showcasing him cutting chairs, beds and phones in half for his ex-wife. The video's translated description reads "Thank you for 12 'beautiful years,' Laura! You've really earned half. Greetings also to my successor."

Phones, laptops, teddy bears—you name it, he split it.

From their mailbox to their sofa, all of the man's remaining halves are now up for sale on eBay, reports Mashable. One of the descriptions on his eBay page roughly translates as: "From my half I must now separate, fond memories you can not remove."

Unfortunately for Americans looking for some cut-up furniture, the man is not shipping to the U.S. If you are in the neighborhood though, he says he will accept cash payment upon delivery.

car.jpg
 
hone.jpg
 
couch.jpg
 
bed.jpg
 
teddy.jpg
 
landline.jpg
 
laptop.jpg
 
57-8.jpg

 


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#2
saMoorai
Posté 20 juin 2015 - 12:56

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This is dumb.

 

That's like, 2/3 of the bike gone. How is this fair?


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#3
In Exile
Posté 20 juin 2015 - 01:10

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Obviously he's now on the hook financially for their value, so why would this be a good idea? He's literally cutting off his nose to spite his face. 


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#4
Jeremiah12LGeek
Posté 20 juin 2015 - 01:45

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eddie-murphy-raw-half-o.gif

 

Some day, I'll get around to finding a decent gif editor.


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#5
o Ventus
Posté 20 juin 2015 - 01:56

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Obviously he's now on the hook financially for their value, so why would this be a good idea? He's literally cutting off his nose to spite his face.

 

 

He's literally cutting off his nose to spite his face.

 

 

literally

 

Is that so?


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#6
Guest_TrillClinton_*
Posté 20 juin 2015 - 02:08

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Is that so?

http://www.cnn.com/2...lly-definition/

 

it is getting real.


#7
Guest_Puddi III_*
Posté 20 juin 2015 - 02:13

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Huh, I guess I don't have to ask if he also gave her half of the Sun now.
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#8
mybudgee
Posté 20 juin 2015 - 02:16

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jake-laughing-o.gif


#9
Sigma Tauri
Posté 20 juin 2015 - 02:24

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It's sometimes fun to embarrass people ignorant of the word being an antonym to figurative.


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#10
mybudgee
Posté 20 juin 2015 - 02:54

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Related: 

 

Dear Millenials: PLEASE stop over-using "creepy" and "literally" 

 

love, all English speakers on Earth

 

<3


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#11
Jeremiah12LGeek
Posté 20 juin 2015 - 03:04

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jane-lynch-im-lactating-with-rage.gif

 

I'M LITERALLY LACTATING WITH RAGE


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#12
leighzard
Posté 20 juin 2015 - 03:11

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Those are cute pictures and all, but I feel like a lot of those half-items should be leaning more.
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#13
Garryydde
Posté 20 juin 2015 - 03:12

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JUST
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#14
In Exile
Posté 20 juin 2015 - 03:17

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It's sometimes fun to embarrass people ignorant of the word being an antonym to figurative.

I literally use it figuratively. 

 

But more generally, I object to this nonsensical notion that language is static or that dictionaries are akin to formal math definitions, rather than compilations of common usages (i.e., what they actually were originally). It's why I make a point, as I said, to literally use literally figuratively. 


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#15
Fishy
Posté 20 juin 2015 - 03:42

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All he did was cut in half half the belonging of his ex and if the woman has any decent lawyer he will have to pay anyway. He's a fool. A cretin. 


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#16
Br3admax
Posté 20 juin 2015 - 03:54

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Were you his wife? Must have been a hell of a divorce. 


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#17
PrinceofTime
Posté 20 juin 2015 - 04:38

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I dont know why but the impression i got from the title is that he cut himself in half  :mellow:


#18
mybudgee
Posté 20 juin 2015 - 04:39

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I dont know why but the impression i got from the title is that he cut himself in half  :mellow:

darth-maul-owned-o.gif


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#19
Fast Jimmy
Posté 20 juin 2015 - 04:44

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eddie-murphy-raw-half-o.gif

 

Some day, I'll get around to finding a decent gif editor.

 

I would suggest GIMP, because it is a huge pain to get to do anything with... and its the best (free) tool out there, despite that.


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#20
AWTEW
Posté 20 juin 2015 - 06:03

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She could have a case against him in defamation, as well. 


#21
A Crusty Knight Of Colour
Posté 20 juin 2015 - 06:04

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Related: 

 

Dear Millenials: PLEASE stop over-using "creepy" and "literally" 

 

love, all English speakers on Earth

 

<3

 

Maybe when you stop being a literal creep.


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#22
Voxr
Posté 20 juin 2015 - 06:16

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Maybe when you stop being a literal creep.

Budgee is totes adorbz tho.


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#23
Sully13
Posté 20 juin 2015 - 06:53

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Literally adorbz.


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#24
Inquisitor Recon
Posté 20 juin 2015 - 06:54

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Damn hipster language.


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#25
Sully13
Posté 20 juin 2015 - 06:55

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Damn hipster language.

You are being Problematic.


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