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[Yumi]

New and Improved!

With pictures and commentary!

Guest appearances from the most elite of elite peasants!



Stay tuned tonight!

 

 

Wednesday Night

 

Game 1

 

GUEST APPEARANCE! SilverSmurf is on and playing, and there is even a spot in his party. I'm on it like white on rice.

 

PS4 CRASH TO DESKTOP

 

 

Game 2

 SilverSmurf carries are such sweet, sweet honey. I try again and slip inside like black leather driving gloves.

 

Smurf, seriously, stop gold stealing all my pots ok? It's like damn, life is hard for a lvl 1 without a leaderboarder stealing my only fake reason to not get 3 skulled out of this mofo. 

 

Smurf be like: 

 

Game 3

 Another smooth carry. An ominous rainstorm is brewing outside my window though....and it even hailed a little. Perhaps....

Oh, I know, and it is not good.

 

Game 4

 

 Ferelden Castle. Our sponsor this half hour is: .

 

Guaranteed to:

  completely fudge up your HOK, making it activate after you die but not rez'ing you and

  ensure your leaping shots don't start until after you take a mushroom arrow to the face (BW, never heard of invincibility frames, huh)

 

I end up wiping 3 times in zone 2 and fading out. To my PUG: 

  

 

Oh by the way, longshot these days without the ability ring couldn't swat a fly to death.

 

At least we have 2 keepers. Oh wait, 1 of the PUG keepers dc'd or abandoned all hope at how terrible i was and left.

 

 

This PUG practices ladder camping, probably a good idea, but god it is so long, slow, and boring that I had time to google image this beauty:

 

 

 

After zone 3 is done, we have the obligatory gong dance, one pug is so stingy that he opens the door and threatens to pull the group.

 

I ring the gong 1/10 of a millisecond before he pulls. So, thanks for that Richard, it will become part of your legend.

 

 

Final observation on this game: Stop hating on my caltrops. They rez'd me out of the Fade Fade 4 times in that match, and let's be honest, you couldn't have done it without me. Literally, I was faded out, so no, you could not have rez'd me.

 

 

Peer 2 peer lag really ruins a lot of the important mechanics of this multiplayer ._.

 

 

Game 5

 

BRO SERIOUSLY THE DRAGON IS WAY TO FREAKING ACCURATE!

 

 

Literally, Inferno Dragon destroys me at every turn.

I get rez'd to getting a fiery hell poop on my head. This freaking reptile......

 

 

it must be Inferno Dragon's motto.

 

A brand new PUG fills in on Perilous FC. A lvl 13 reaver without a banner or portrait. YOU KNOW THIS GUY IS PRO....

Fades 3 times within 60 seconds of his arrival. Apparently my teammates are too lazy to 3 skull him...

Of course the whole team wipes trying to clean up is mess.

Except his connection is broken, and we have to wait 3-5 minutes for him to completely disconnect from the game before we can see "FAIL" and exit out of the game.

 

i guess 

 

 

 

GAME 6

 

GUEST APPEARANCE BY MCNUGGLESYO!!!!

 

 

Again, the Inferno dragon just.....wrecks me. I am 100% sure my PUG thinks this about me:

 

 

 

LAST GAME!!!!! (didn't know it at the time)

 

DAMP throws a hissy fit at how much I suck and disconnects me from server. I know what "error retrieving server data" means. I'm not stupid, you could just be honest with me DAMP.

 

 

I'm going to stop here tonight, I hope you all enjoyed.

 

Please leave comments, suggestions, and other feedback.

 

 

I'm sorry to everyone that played with me ._.

[Yumi]

Thursday Night Threatening Special

 

 

 

Game 1

 SilverSmurf sends me an invite. I put on some romantic music while the game starts up. My body is ready for some sweet sweet carries.

 

The party is full.

 

 

 

Game 2

 

enter a perilous lobby, People must recognize how awesome I am because 2 of them ready up immediately. 

Except the leader. So we wait. And wait. Going on 3 minutes now. And wait. I red skull him. And wait. 

 

 

Game 3

 Ferelden Perilous PUG. Looking good, I spy 1 Pathfinder title and a 100 clear Archer banner. We've got all classes and Scrooge McDuck is happy.

 

wait for it......

 

FML ITS THE 

 

Nothing funny to report, i die a lot because I'm terrible, we speed clear, someone runs ahead and rings the gong. Sweet baby jesus I love people with advanced banners. 

 

We did get that damn memory leak with a Virtuoso in Zone 4 though. Legionnaire is slow enough without memory molasses.

Then proceeded to take 30 minutes to kill the dragon. A party without armor penetration, high DPS, or guard smasher takes FOREVER.

A clear is a clear though.

 

 

 

Game 4

So, I'm starting to realize that threatening isn't just boring, it isn't humorous either. I'm bored out of my skull and my jokes have no weight behind them.

 

 

TONIGHT'S SADLY MAIN FEATURES

 

GAME NUMBER (don't even know)

 drop into threatening as lvl one. Two other lvl ones inside and we start. A lvl 20 archer joins.

 

no banner, no title, no portrait.

 

well....I've been burned in the past, but what could it hurt.

 

...................he wipes immediately on Zone 1.

In my head he is doing this:

 

 

Well, at least he isn't spamming "Come over here". Wait, what?

 

/

 

No, please, I must have been hearing things.

 

 

Oh. Oh no. OHHHHH NOOO. OH HELL NAW YOU DID NOT JUST SPAM ME

 

 

This guy proceeds to stand in front of any possible treasure door and spam come here. Even if its the door for his class. Bro, if you can't clear a treasure room solo on threatening or at least start it off, when you are level 20, you should think about reading some guides on the forum.

 

we clear almost completely without him and repeat it 3 more times. lvl 1 -11 and we are carrying this guy. After 3 times we simultaneusly leave.

I felt like this afterward:

Unforetunately, I was not the Snookie. I was probably Butters.

 

FINAL GAME OF THE NIGHT

 Perilous FC storm dragon. 3 people already inside.

 

I load into zone 3 entrance by the gates that open. Two pugs are already faded, One is on his feet next to me, and about 30-40 enemies on screen are swarming us.

 

Me and the remaining PUG save the day, but it takes a LOOOONG time.

1 PUG waits it out in Purgatory, the other leaves. Great, there goes all the XP you asshat.

 

 

OH DID I MENTION NOBODY PULLED THE GONG? 

Not that I would have pulled it. 

 

So apparently someone told this PUG that camping in the zone 5 stairs is a great way to beat zone 5 if you didn't call the dragon. 20 minutes later, the party finally goes down. In total, that was 52 minutes of my life wasted. I stop-watched it. If I see those guys again:

 

 

 

TONIGHT'S OBSERVATIONS:

 Threatening does not provide enough comedic material and will not satisfy my fans.

 Sorry I could not complete gif requests, but I'm trying to get in some extra gaming matieral so I have a better Friday night show.

 

[Yumi]

Friday reserved, even though my ADD will make this 90% chance of

[Courtnehh]

Who is Tumi and what have you done with Yumi!?

[Yumi]

Who is Tumi and what have you done with Yumi!?

That's embarrassing. How2change thread title on mobile ._.

[Courtnehh]

That's embarrassing. How2change thread title on mobile ._.

Go to the main board you posted on scroll to the bottom and hit show full mode or whatever then on your post an edit icon will come up like normal

[Silversmurf]

Lol

You bailed on me to try fix your own post

Hope I get a good review haha

[Yumi]

Go to the main board you posted on scroll to the bottom and hit show full mode or whatever then on your post an edit icon will come up like normal

Thank you BasedCoCo

[Yumi]

Lol

You bailed on me to try fix your own post

Hope I get a good review haha

I was going to interview you but I didn't want to wake

[ALTBOULI]

Tumi pls...

[Yumi]

Tumi pls...

[Gya]

Who is Tumi

F4 on Avvar.

[Yumi]

Wednesday night post update.

[Courtnehh]

F4 on Avvar.

I lol'd in the middle of my office, well played.

[DragonRacer]

That was scrubbalicious goodness.

 

My PUGing last night put me in two Venatori matches. As time was running out for my personal gaming time, I decided to... go play with myself, and continued to get Venatori --> quit --> remake private lobby --> try again until I finally got demons after, like, the 8th or 9th try.

 

But I got there. I always get there. It just... takes a while, sometimes.

[kaileena_sands]

Epic diary Yumi. Some much needed laughs before work.

[Yumi]

That was scrubbalicious goodness.

 

My PUGing last night put me in two Venatori matches. As time was running out for my personal gaming time, I decided to... go play with myself, and continued to get Venatori --> quit --> remake private lobby --> try again until I finally got demons after, like, the 8th or 9th try.

 

But I got there. I always get there. It just... takes a while, sometimes.

 

 

 

this is too much subtextual inference to handle before 8AM ma'am.

[Silversmurf]

Damn you are funny mate. I'm laughing my head off at Wednesday here and people in my work are wondering what the fk I'm reading.

[Silversmurf]

That was scrubbalicious goodness.

 

My PUGing last night put me in two Venatori matches. As time was running out for my personal gaming time, I decided to... go play with myself, and continued to get Venatori --> quit --> remake private lobby --> try again until I finally got demons after, like, the 8th or 9th try.

 

But I got there. I always get there. It just... takes a while, sometimes.

 

Naughty Dragon.

 

You and Yumi keep me going at work.

[Silversmurf]

Thursday reserved

 

 

Thursday night will be a special edition where my entire PUG diary will only be chronicled in GIFs and images.

 

My current pool of images will be:

 

Adventure Time

Supernatural

X-Files

South Park.

 

 

Please request any other media or content you would like me to draw images from.

 

Family Guy.

 

maybe even some Futurama w/Bender ?

[lJustAlexl]

Please request any other media or content you would like me to draw images from.

Fist of the North Star and JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, please. There's a lot to work with there.

[Redalertixii]

this is too much subtextual inference to handle before 8AM ma'am.

Haha I thought the same. I read it. Reread it. Then again. Did she just say... naw! But she did! Putting subtleties in posts trying to pass one on ole Red and Co.! Funny whether intentional or not.

[Aetika]

That was scrubbalicious goodness.
 
I decided to... go play with myself

 

go on

[Gya]

Thursday reserved


Thursday night will be a special edition where my entire PUG diary will only be chronicled in GIFs and images.

My current pool of images will be:

Adventure Time
Supernatural
X-Files
South Park.


Please request any other media or content you would like me to draw images from.

Porn gifs pls. Relevant to being brutalised in a corner by RTC spin2win.

[Yumi]

Porn gifs pls. Relevant to being brutalised in a corner by RTC spin2win.

I will apply my massive brain to figure out how to satisfy my viewers while not getting an IP ban from BSN