Only reasons 1 and 3 are valid. The other 2 reasons either sound like attention-seeking BS or the ramblings or a mentally ill person.
For example, a trans "woman" who refuses to undergo the surgical transitioning expects me to regard her as a woman, even though "she" makes zero attempt at actually being one? How does that make any sense? That would be like me claiming to be an artist and wanting people to respect me as an artist even though I never draw or create anything. It's just attention-seeking nonsense.
Reasons 2 and 4 are valid in my opinion, and if they aren't valid reasons in your opinion, that's not something I'm going to be able to change.
In response to your example:
She can train her voice to sound more effeminate.
She can dress and act in a more traditionally feminine manner, if she wants to.
She can change her name, whether formally or informally, and ask others to refer to her as, or introduce herself as that name.
She can change which pronouns she wants others to refer to her as, by asking them to.
She can gain access to hormone replacement therapy, either by informed consent or after receiving a referral from a therapist.
None of these require surgical intervention, and unless she is walking around buck naked, it's likely that people won't be able to tell that she is trans. All of these, are in my opinion, attempts at being a woman. Again, you might hold different opinions.
If this theoretical transwoman requested that you treat her as a woman, that's not something you are forced to comply with. It would be, in my opinion, the respectful thing to do; but again, it's not something you absolutely must do. Without knowing her thoughts, I would not be able to say whether or not it is an expectation that she be treated the way she identifies. It would however, likely be something she would appreciate - being treated as the woman she is.
Thank you for a civil conversation on the matter thus far.
If Bioware decides to include a trans character in the Mass Effect universe, regardless of their identity, I will see it as a potentially positive inclusion in today's media. Apart from Dragon Age: Inquisition, I cannot recall ever hearing about or seeing a trans character in gaming. It's unfortunate, but it's not something I'd expect to see a change with overnight.