I like the OP's suggestion to have dialogue option that you may ultimately be better off not choosing. Right now, even in the best of RPGs, you never really have to think about what you actually want your character to say and what you may not want him/her to say. You just click through all given investigation options first, then choose the next answer to progress along the main tree according to your mood, rather then on what impact your response will have. In reality, I at least usually think about both when in a conversation.
The only game I can remember in recent years that tried to approach this in some way is Deus Ex: Human Revolution with it's persuasion system (which was great but only works when dealing with specific situations and NPCs).
If you always had the threat of giving "wrong" or at least suboptimal answers, it would make you think twice before clicking an option on the dialogue wheel. The consequences wouldn't always have to be world defining either. Of course, if you witlessly informed an enemy spy of your intentions, that may cause you significant problems (in which case there should however also be some subtle indication that you are in fact talking to a spy, it shouldn't be random). But it may as well be that you just say something stupid and get a snarky remark (Shepard's "Can Asari mate with their own kind?" was going in that direction actually) or you may anger someone and end a conversation prematurely, loosing some influence or the possibility of a romance option for a squad mate.
The consequences could and should be diverse but not entirely unpredictable. And the player should not be "punished" for choosing a "wrong" option so much as rather being offered a different experience, possibly more challenging in certain cases.
Mass effect did this in very few examples (persuading Saren/TIM over the course of the game so they'd shoot themselves later) but it only scratched the surface of it's potential there and I also think the paragon/renegade system held it back there.
Of course, all this would prerequisite the dialogue wheel paraphrases to be written very carefully because now, inconsistencies there would really have more than just cosmetic impact on one conversation.
Yeah, Deux Ex is a great example. I feel it's quite sad how dialogue trees have relatively remained the same since the 1990s and have barely evolved in any meaningful way in most games. In comparison to almost all combat mechanics in video games. This despite the great potential they have to complete change one's experience. For example, the scene where you have to save a hostage in the opening level of Deux Ex: Human Revolution through your dialogue felt far more intense to me than anything I had experienced in Mass Effect. I felt this because knew the hostage could die depending on my choice of words and also how long I took to come to make a decision. All of this added to the immersion to the gaming world and as you eloquently said, Bioware rarely implement this into their game.





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