I sympathize with you. The thing is, Natashina didn't shut you down at all, she only asked that people stay on topic, which is a sensible thing to do.
Do you truly believe a discussion with some misogynistic trolls is going to result in anything positive? There's a time and a place for everything.
Your problem is that you see everything in black and white, people are either with you or against you. You also try to apply feminism to every little thing, even when it's not appropriate or when there are more important factors in play. You are tending to be more on the extreme side of arguments, too.
The thread was rather interesting and there was a lot to discuss but it went off the tracks the moment you reacted to a (stupid) comment someone made. And you didn't stop there, you snatched up every little bit of bait that was laid out for you over the past 5 pages. There are two ways to play this: Either you ignore the comments completely (but then you would have nothing to contribute to this thread) or you keep your cool and respond strictly with facts and wait for the trolls to overcommit, then use it against them. They usually shut up and leave threads once it becomes clear that they are trolling and the more often this happens, the more people realize what they are and avoid them.
What you did here didn't help feminism, it didn't help you and it sure as hell didn't help the discussion in the thread.
I'm not blaming you alone, you are as much victim as perpetrator here. This isn't the first time you turned a thread into a huge discussion about feminism, objectification etc. While I basically agree with the underlying thoughts of feminism, I find you too confrontational. Nothing wrong with it, it just doesn't work in this environment.
My best friend often tells me, "You can be 100% right and it still won't change anything." when I get into these kinds of arguments. So trust me, I am pretty sure I know how you feel. I have the impression that you'd be fun to talk with in another setting (dinner at my place, I cook for you?^^) but in here you have to deal with several people at once, all aligning their positions against you and reinforcing each other... which then frustrates you and leads you to sarcastic/insulting counterarguments.
This isn't meant as an attack on you. Perhaps it would be best to create your own thread about the (lack of) feminism in gaming?
@Yaroub & Malanek: I seriously don't know what to tell you, from my point of view it is crystal clear that no BioWare game ever had a character that fits the femme fatale description and if you interpret it differently than the majority in this thread, then I guess we will just have to disagree on that. *shrug* But if you think you already had two of them, then couldn't you just let the rest of us lobby for a true femme fatale as we see her?
I understand that you are trying to be reasonable but the effect of your reasonableness is 'don't talk about this' or 'don't respond to the hundreds of sexist comments that happen on the BSN everyday'. In the minds of many here that is obviously the preferred choice, to shut feminists up. In doing so, a culture is created where misogynistic comments and attitudes stand unchallenged by everybody because 'it's not the time' or one of the other myriad of justifications people give for letting those comments stand. The people making those comments think people tacitly agree with them because there is no push back; after all, the last time they called Liara annoying they were taken to task quickly. People must agree with their anti-fem views or someone would surely comment.
So, they breed and fester here and everywhere I go I see people making sexist statements like it's the most normal thing in the world. It gets to the point where some people are advocating for rape and pedophilia to enhance their roleplay experience and most people are too afraid to speak up. Or, the people that do speak up try to denounce it from a gameplay perspective as if that's the most important issue when discussing rape and pedophilia.
And you know what, 90% of the time I pass it by too because sometimes I'm just not up for another argument with the anti-fems and anti-fem sympathizers. The times you've seen me speak up are after I've gotten fed up with seeing the 100th anti-fem comment that either is just blatantly sexist or misrepresents what feminists are actually saying. And, then were on the merry go round of people trying to shut me down, policing my tone, telling me precisely which issues can be talked about and how, and the list goes on. And, then there's the gem of 'well, start a thread' that immediately gets shut down when the anti-fems can't control the discussion in that thread either. After all this happens, the reasonable people jump in and continue with the tone trolling, support of the worst offenders and misconstrue my position as some sort of radical one. It makes this forum a very chilly place for many women.
Do you even know what my position is or are you just assuming a position because it's easier to lump someone that defends their stance just as strongly as you guys into some bucket of 'rad fem' that can be dismissed? I'm really not that radical; I just ****** some of you off by dishing back out what you give. Beerfish, while I get the impression he disagrees with me from the snarky tone which I didn't bother to cry about, actually took the time to ask, and I told him some of my views. I didn't go into much detail as it was 3 am where I live and I was exhausted. But, asking for combat armor, helmets and sensible shoes for women in a video game isn't radical. Asking that women are given characterization and not designed to serve as objects for men isn't radical. Objecting to rape and pedophilia in video games isn't radical. Objecting to assigning traits to people based on gender alone isn't radical. These are the positions I've actually expressed on the BSN. You may not like the way I express them but instead of tone policing why don't you take your own advice and respond with facts, etc.
To answer, I have no idea whether arguing with those you label as trolls, but many of them are actually regular posters, gets anywhere in the long run. But, I do think it at least let's people know that not everyone agrees with some of these people. Silence is often misconstrued as agreement. I've received several messages thanking me for speaking up against some of this stuff. Some of the people that messaged me don't feel comfortable speaking their minds on this forum. And, that's a result of the climate here where the misogynists get a pass and the feminists are shouted down.
ETA: But, yes, it does get very frustrating to be in the middle of the dog pile. Sometimes, though, you have to be there to push back against some ideas. And, I do think you are probably a very nice person that would be fun to hang around with. So, thanks for that!
