Fictional killing and pixelated nudity, but language translates directly to the Player.
This argument right here goes to the heart of why the OP's request is actually silly and should never be given serious consideration. I'm now repeating myself when I say that everything in a game, movie or book translates directly to the player or viewer, and that includes violence. It's not some totally separate thing that exists on another plane of thought. This is, after all, a visual medium. The imagery counts every bit as much as the spoken or written language does. It doesn't matter one iota that the characters being killed, tortured or raped are fictional.
Let's say you have a game where you just gun down innocent people for no good reason at all, like Hatred. For sake of argument, let's say that said game has absolutely no harsh language whatsoever, the only spoken lines being random NPC's begging for mercy as you shove the barrel of a shotgun in their mouths. Why would this be a lesser offender than, say, Mass Effect 2?
The only thing that makes a difference is how sensitive certain people are to certain things. Some people who don't mind harsh language might actually have some squick about intense violence, and see violence as being immensely worse, because one is just words, while the other is a representation of the worst things people can do to each other.