I am just as protective of my mind as the OP. For example, I adored Game of Thrones. But I have decided to stop watching it because I do not want my MIND to get used to watching rape. I think that becoming desensitized to that is bad for my mind and my soul (all that jazz). I don't want torture and rape to become commonplace in my entertainment diet.
It's nice to see that someone here gets it, or is at least willing to try.
There is a boatload of assumptions, accusations and the like about the OP's reasons for the request.
When I served in the US Navy, I had a shop chief who dropped every form of the f-bomb in pretty much every sentence that came out of his mouth. I often found myself wondering what he might say or do to express genuine intense emotion. Language wise, there really wasn't anywhere else for him to go.
Like most folks, I try to avoid certain language around people who might take offense, but will otherwise occasionally use it. I also think it might be the most limiting and resource-intensive filter requested here.
As for violence - I still remember my first plays of Fallout 3 and ME1, them being the first shooters I've ever played. Until I got the hang of it, the PC died frequently - and I was treated to watching my PC ragdoll in slo-mo. The emotional experience was pretty intense at first, but after watching that a few times, 2 things happened:
-- I became desensitized to it, thus reducing the emotional impact of the rest of the game.
-- I became emotionally disconnected from the character.
Neither of those things bode well for immersion in the story and game world.
OTT violence - decapitation, exploding giblet bodies, and the like - are so ridiculous as to remove any sense of realism in the depictions of grisly deaths. Maybe that's a good thing - I don't know. If it looked more realistic, players might actually think more about the massive body count building throughout the game.
As for sex scenes in an RPG - well, the more explicit anything is shown in an RPG, the more the character belongs to the writers instead of the player. One of the reasons that ME3 is my least favorite of the trilogy is because it was the most cinematic, had the longest sequences of multiple cutscenes, and thus took a lot of control (and connection) away from the player. I tend to think of role-play as a collaboration between devs and the players. The devs provide a toolset with which I can craft a character and story - by doing (or not) sidequests, by making the choices presented, and by filling in the details that aren't explicitly shown. I'd rather be allowed to decide for myself how it all went down than be shown an explicit sex scene written by someone else.