Basically, I'm asking for:
Language: Maintain it at the level they had it in ME1 or even ME3.
Nudity: Have it so either the person can skip the cutscene without missing anything, and/or have romances where either sex is optional or it is left ambiguous.
Gore: Yes, have the gore toggle from DA implemented into ME. Or even go more like how shooters are if not too straining on resources.
Violence: Have an option for the player to fight in combat without having to kill enemy combatants, most likely through non-lethal ammo and biotic/tech powers.
Why would a significant portion of the fanbase resent the option of non-lethal combat?
I actually do think this is a reasonable list of expectations and requests.
Language - obviously won't bother me, but also I foresee zero chance of a Mass Effect game, or any Bioware game, being clownishly gratuitous with it. Still think it's crucial to the characterization of some, but I also support the ability to refrain from recruiting, as well as flat out kick, companions if I so choose.
Nudity - Again, doesn't bother me broadly, and certainly not to the limited extent it would actually appear. That said, universally unskippable cutscenes are annoying, and a somewhat branching romance path is better for roleplaying and replayability. Plus, it's likely much more "doable" than any sort of toggle/censor bar/rescripting/etc.
Gore - Whatever, sure. Extreme stuff can wig me out, but I once again don't think a Mass Effect game will cross any major lines, honestly. Besides, consensus and evidence suggest that this is the easiest thing to "toggle" anyway.
The only thing I think would not work would be to provide non-lethal gameplay options across the board. There are some games that do do that obviously (I've never played Deus Ex, but doing it in Dishonored was very rewarding), but it wouldn't have been possible in the current trilogy without a massive re-imagining of the story (something it could benefit from but anyway...), and I don't think it would necessarily be believable going forward. Situationally, as in ME1... sure, but I think it would stretch both internal and external credibility if we're able to tranq or talk our way out of every hostile Andromedan encounter.
Some things just need shooting, too.
Basically, I don't want them to compromise their direction or their vision in any way, and I don't want them to burn zots chasing some insipid toggle, BUT I think it's perfectly acceptable to offer players a way to game around the majority of it if they so choose. The Dragon Age games have all done this to varying extent. It results in a more varied game, and I think that's something we all want.
Additionally, though, if the rare bit of meaty exposition necessitates some language or other objectionable content, I would hope everyone is gracious enough to just deal with it.