I actually do think this is a reasonable list of expectations and requests.
Language - obviously won't bother me, but also I foresee zero chance of a Mass Effect game, or any Bioware game, being clownishly gratuitous with it. Still think it's crucial to the characterization of some, but I also support the ability to refrain from recruiting, as well as flat out kick, companions if I so choose.
Nudity - Again, doesn't bother me broadly, and certainly not to the limited extent it would actually appear. That said, universally unskippable cutscenes are annoying, and a somewhat branching romance path is better for roleplaying and replayability. Plus, it's likely much more "doable" than any sort of toggle/censor bar/rescripting/etc.
Gore - Whatever, sure. Extreme stuff can wig me out, but I once again don't think a Mass Effect game will cross any major lines, honestly. Besides, consensus and evidence suggest that this is the easiest thing to "toggle" anyway.
The only thing I think would not work would be to provide non-lethal gameplay options across the board. There are some games that do do that obviously (I've never played Deus Ex, but doing it in Dishonored was very rewarding), but it wouldn't have been possible in the current trilogy without a massive re-imagining of the story (something it could benefit from but anyway...), and I don't think it would necessarily be believable going forward. Situationally, as in ME1... sure, but I think it would stretch both internal and external credibility if we're able to tranq or talk our way out of every hostile Andromedan encounter.
Some things just need shooting, too.
Basically, I don't want them to compromise their direction or their vision in any way, and I don't want them to burn zots chasing some insipid toggle, BUT I think it's perfectly acceptable to offer players a way to game around the majority of it if they so choose. The Dragon Age games have all done this to varying extent. It results in a more varied game, and I think that's something we all want.
Additionally, though, if the rare bit of meaty exposition necessitates some language or other objectionable content, I would hope everyone is gracious enough to just deal with it.
Thank you. I'm glad you think so.
With language there's been a few times where it's been gratuitous, like Joker's constant swearing when we play as him in ME2, but for the most part I agree it has been either tame or reserved for certain characters thus easily avoidable by simply not using or talking to them.
With nudity, I agree completely. It can certainly be useful, but there are ways around fully showing it outside the cutscene like with clever camera placement when there is dialogue to be had. And with there being a variety of romance paths even with the same LI, like you said it adds to the roleplaying and replayability value.
With gore, Bioware has crossed the line a few times, but every time they have they have included a gore toggle so people who aren't for it can have the gore be more to their tastes.
With violence, Dishonored is another great example. Like you said with how little we know of what will be happening in these games it's hard to say what their vision for it is. It could be that it fits their vision perfectly fine, or it fits in certain situations, or not at all. Like with the nudity, having the option either throughout the game or just in certain situations can be beneficial to the game by adding to the roleplaying and replayability of it.
So yeah, the fact Bioware has already done everything I listed in the past supports the notion that there are ways they could appeal to as many people as possible without it being too costly resource-wise and can even possibly benefit the game itself as a whole, rather than just having a toggle which is more costly and doesn't bring any benefits to the game itself.