In a lot of ways, the 4 is not any better than the 3. I will never, ever, ever understand why it doesn't support bluetooth mics that aren't full-on freaking headsets or why they said that would eventually be patched in and still hasn't, that I'm aware of. The library is still not impressive either. I got Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag (which was fun, but didn't suck me in) and Thief (which I didn't play much after the first hour) to play while I waited for DAI to drop (the reason I even got a 4). Since then, I've only added DAI and ESO and that's largely what I play now. Plus, Fallout 4 in November, so I'll be up to a whopping 5 games.
However, there are definitely some things I like about the 4 that I wish the 3 had. I like that I can quickly save a video of something cool that happened because I have it continuously recording the last 15 minutes of gameplay. I like that I can take HD screenshots on a whim to share. I'm enjoying that I can livestream straight from the 4 while I play. It's also convenient that I can upload videos straight to YouTube from it. I think back to the hassle of my game capture card hooked to my 3 and my laptop and what a cluster that was. And for all that I was able to record my ME3MP matches, I couldn't record the funny mic chatter with my peeps, which was half of the fun and hilarity, but now I can on the 4. So, for the social and sharing aspect, the 4 kicks ass.
I also like that I've not experienced one hard freeze yet either. The number of times my 3 seized up (largely due to Collectors/hazard maps) and I held my breath as I went to turn it back on, praying it wasn't totally bricked. Then waiting a lifetime for it to turn on, going through the file-restoring thing, then age to eternity while ME3MP loaded back up... I don't miss that (although I do miss ME3MP itself).
I also like standby mode. It's very convenient to leave it on while I go to work and have the 4 automatically download game patches/updates and install them. No more booting it up after work and waiting an hour for a game I wanted to play to update... I can just play it immediately now. And I find it convenient to leave in standby mode when I know DLC is dropping for the same reason... I can queue up the Playstation Store on my phone, buy the DLC, and tell my "sleeping" PS4 to wake up and download/install it while I'm at work, so it's ready to play when I get home.
All of that kicks butt. Really a fan. But, yeah, small library and the headset/mic situation is just dumb as hell. My two main complaints.
However, I feel for you guys. I can't imagine how much it sucks to have the community splitting like this, friends being torn from each other as some move on to upgrade and others don't. I still think of my bro who was my ME3MP duo partner and I miss the hell outta him. 