Actually, not true. Bann Graine's husband died at Winter's Breath, a battle in the Civil War. The actual first battle was more then likely the one where Loghain's men were invited to talk with another Bann under a peaceful banner and were instead attacked. I'd argue that what really got the powderkeg getting bigger and bigger after Teagan's ill-timed throwing oil on it and urging people to set it ablaze was when Loghain felt the need to arrest 3 banns (for what, we're not told), which might've prompted the aforementioned battle.
And also, while Bann Graine had every right to do what she did as a Bann, it was still a petty and stupid thing to do.
None of this confirms that Loghain wasn't the aggressor or the escalator in the Civil War.
Nor does this justify murdering Graine simply because she refused to follow Loghain. Now if Loghain were the lawful king, these would be grounds to arrest her for arson and possibly treason. But since Loghain is NOT the lawful king, the situation with Graine merely becomes one more example of Loghain trying to use intimidation, terror and force to get the Bannorn to follow him. Considering how dirty Loghain's hands are, I wouldn't be surprised if he had indeed ambushed Bann Bronach under an offer of peace.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZspDRkYyh4
And here's Loghain's Push for further condemnation in the case of Bann Telman:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d34FMp7TJB8
Loghain clearly ordered his men to seize the lands and supplies of any freeholder or bann who would accept his authority willingly. Just like Bann Telman, these lords are merely standing up for their own freedom to choose their own lord and not have it forced on them. Loghain honors their boldness with nothing but ruin and death. No different than the Orlesians did decades ago.
The Narrative still firmly remains that Loghain is attempting to seize power under questionable means and circumstances; the Bannorn refuse to bow to him simply because he demands it; Loghain tries to force the issue; the Bannorn don't budge; and fingers seem to point to Loghain as being the escalator.
None of which would have happened if Loghain had stepped own and let Anora call a Landsmeet to settle matters. Then the Landsmeet could elect Anora before Loghain ruins her reputation through his regency and Loghain would have the Bannorn follow him as their lawful general. Or better yet, don't declare yourself regent if your daughter is "apparently capable" of ruling the land herself. (I would question why Anora didn't merely step forward sooner to deescalate tensions rather than later)
Instead, he appears to ignore both Anora and Howe (you know you've screwed up when Howe's calling you an idiot) when they point out the obvious and he insists on escalating the War even while the darkspawn devour the very people that he's trying to save.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwUYmZiWzg0





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