OK I see where you're coming from. But the reality of story-based games is that we have to play the story the devs give us, rather than more open exploration of open world games. Which might be part of the reason it sounds like you enjoyed DAI more than I
I think Flemeth or Alistair mentions how it's implausible to leave the country (to ask for help from other Wardens or just to flee) because the time it would take to leave, and that it's either through the Frostbacks to Jader or by boat means we'll have to get through checkpoints which will be guarded by Loghain's troops.
Duncan might not be as relatable or close for some backgrounds or play styles, I do agree he could have used a little more screen time to strengthen the relationship. But we do at least interact with him and in most cases he saves our lives in the origin, so there is a reason to at least be grateful to him, if not be close. And Alistair serves as a connection to the man. Compare that to Cassandra or Leliana and their loss of Justinia: I do feel bad for them both and DAI did a good job of making me feel for them, but I feel bad for their feelings, not because I ALSO feel the loss of Justinia. Which is fine, I would just have preferred having a connection to better understand where Cass and Leliana are coming from. And to make the appearance in the Fade more personally meaningful. It's hard for me as a character to say "are you the real Justinia or a spirit?" when I've never actually met Justinia, so how would I even know if the being is acting like her or not?
Yes, later having a major catastrophy strike, like the Citadel or Ostagar or the Conclave is frustrating, especially when you've invested your time, effort, and emotions into those locations and their inhabitants. But narratively, painful as it is, it's a good story because it gets us invested. Which is why I would have liked more of a personal investment in the Conclave. YMMV
For the Dalish, I think it's vague and debatable. I see where you're coming from with the text in game, but it doesn't explicitly state whether you're traveling alone or not. "The clan wandered the northern Free Marches and had little need to interact with humans—until the clan's Keeper sent you to the Chantry's conclave as a spy"
I know it's nitpicky but it's not explicit if this is the singular you or plural you, so we could just be leading a group from the clan. Personally, if one Dalish elf showed up alone to the Conclave I would be more suspicious than if several came together claiming to be a hunting group. The entire premise is a little flimsy as I don't see anyone at the Conclave blindly accepting a Dalish presence. Unless they're too arrogant to know the difference between Dalish and city elves, in which case why would they care if there is one servant or many surrounding them?
Yeah, but it's also the devs job to make you care about the story they present, and that didn't happen for me in Origins. I don't even think what they did was bad - I know a lot of other people loved it, so they obviously did something right. It just didn't hit the right notes for me. Meh, it happens, and I liked the rest of the game enough to get over it.
But that's why having the Conclave playable doesn't really matter to me - I know from Origins that an hour of talking to people before they die won't get me attached, so it's just a bit pointless for me. I'd rather have more time afterwards to get to know the companions that I will care about.
They don't specify whether its singular/plural, but I think it's safe to assume singular considering that at no point in the game does it mention you knowing anyone else there. I imagine that would have been the first thing your character would mention when they woke up. I think a group of elves is stranger than a single one - you aren't wearing Elvhen armour when you turned up, so I always imagined you pretended to be a mercenary and signed on with some other group, or pretended to be just another mage, servant, etc. That's common enough, and considering plenty of people have face tattoos in Thedas, I don't think anyone would assume they are Dalish ones unless they had some reason to stop and pay attention to you. A bunch of elves moving in an organized group at a human event looks a lot stranger to me.