BioWare should have made the Control and Synthesis choices less obviously suicidal so that Shepard doesn't need to have a death wish or be extremely stupid in order to choose them.
That's an interesting point. Why DIDN'T they do that? Aside from the destroy, control, synthesis choices, why did only one of them allowing Shepard to survive? They could have let Shepard survive in all endings, or die in all endings.
Either Bioware tried to influence us into thinking the right answer is destroy (and make paragons uneasy by choosing the red ending) OR they wanted it to be a face value decision and say that if we selfishly want to survive, we'd have to kill our friends in the process. There is a lot of dialog near the end about synthetics being alive, and let us not forget:
Garrus: I'm starting to understand why the galaxy needs cold hearted dictators every now and then.
Shepard: They get things done?
Garrus: They don't give a damn about the consequences.
Garrus: Suppose that's what it's going to take, Shepard, the ruthless calculus of war. Ten billion people over here die so twenty billion over there live.
Garrus: Are we up for that? Are you?
Paragon response: If we reduce this war to arithmetic, we are no better than the reapers.
Renegade response: If all life in the galaxy vanishes because we hesitate, what chance do we have?
So far I've been comfortable with my Paragon/destroy approach. I may try a control ending next time. But I think Bioware wanted us to squirm while choosing. They didn't want us to have a fairy tale ending.
Sacrifice yourself and spend eternity trying to control the monsters
Create peace and force a change in the nature of all living things through synthesis
Destroy your enemies as well as your friends